


Into The Woods

by Pew_Pew_16



Series: Runaways [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:12:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 55,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pew_Pew_16/pseuds/Pew_Pew_16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teenager AU; Dean has been sent to a summer camp for troubled teenagers and tries to adapt for those two months as best he can. Castiel has not stayed in a foster home for more than a month before running away and is sent to the camp too. They both learn to deal with their issues while learning how to not beat the crap out of the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 _I thought that I knew_  
_what beautiful souls look like_  
_until I saw yours;_

 _Broken and hurt,_  
_black with the dust of cruelty,_  
_still – brighter than the sun._

_(a.s)_

**Monday, April 27 th **

Each wall of the white room was draped with posters spelling out encouragement, the brown wood shelves were stacked with books enlisting thousands of ways to understand the complex mind of a teen and toys that Ms. RandomLastName, sorry, _Pamela_ , used to talk to her patients. No, _students_. Patients have some damage in need of fixing, while a student is someone looking for guidance, but none of that mattered when the couch’s cushions tried to swallow you whole. Dean still didn’t know why he sat down if he knew what would happen. The couch was like sitting on a cloud, but since he sank in to the cushion, his feet rose several inches off the ground. He already felt like a kid going to these sessions, no need to look the part too.

The school had forced him to go to counseling Mondays and Fridays after his third outburst in class. Pamela wanted to check in at the beginning and end of the week to make sure he was doing fine. Dean knew that was pretty talk for the school to make sure his “anger issue” was taken care of. He didn’t have an anger issue, he just had low tolerance for stupid people who couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

 _Maybe_ it was an anger issue.

Pamela walked into the room as Dean sat at the very edge of the cushion, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Hi Dean,” Pamela said with a smile. She always wore tight leather pants that showed off her long legs and great ass. Dean wasn’t even going to deny that he wanted to ride those black roads until sunrise the moment he saw her.

Dean laced his fingers together but didn’t even return the smile. Pamela was already used to it. Pamela sat on her armchair in front of the couch, clipboard seated on her lap, and she gave Dean another smile. She was beautiful, no denying that, but no matter how many times she gave him that dazzling smile, Dean wouldn’t crack.

She stared him down for an uncomfortable amount of time, but Dean didn’t look away. He knew she would mark that as him being intimidated, presenting signs of untrust or avoidance. Dean wasn’t going to give her any reason to judge him; his looks already did that.

“How are you?” She finally asked.

“I’m fine, how are you?” Dean coolly answered.

“We’re talking about you Dean, not me.”

“Which is a huge waste of time since there’s nothing to talk about.”

Pamela tapped her pen on the clipboard, her eyes never looking away from Dean’s. He didn’t look away either.

“How’s the family?”

Pamela knew that was a minefield with Dean; the way Dean clenched his jaw was a clear indicator, but she still asked.

“They’re fine.” He was always able to keep his voice neutral from any emotion, but the fire in his eyes gave him away.

“I met with your dad yesterday, lovely man, and he told me you’ve been working more hours.”

His leg was bouncing and his jaw clenched again. “I have.” The change of subject didn’t affect his tone but his posture became stiffer, guarded.

“He said you’ve been taking Sam with you.”

“What can I say; he likes to watch me work.” Dean was stretching his lips in an attempt of a smile.

He was looking at her, warning her to not go any further, but she knew better than to back away now.

“He’s a great kid from what I hear; Perfect GPA, nicest kid in class, even an excellent part in the theatre.”

“That’s Sammy.” This time, when Dean smiled, it seemed sincere.

“You’re very proud of him, aren’t you?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

“Is that why you got in a fight with Gordon?”

Dean didn’t show any emotion, but his leg kept shaking. He didn’t answer for a while, twisting his fingers and looking at Pamela in a way that made her leather pants even hotter than they were. She was a professional, aware of the age difference and of the policy, not to mention how _wrong_ it was, but the kid was a looker.

“Dean,” she pushed, “is that why you two have been starting all those fights?”

Dean was still looking at her when he answered. “Sam is a smart kid; he can’t be getting in trouble.”

“Does Sam ask you to fight for him?”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“Nobody asks you to get in fights either, but every time you see Gordon, you’re a bull seeing red.” Dean’s jaw twitched. “Now I’ve asked around and people _do_ say Gordon tends to pick on Sam, but he has never made it physical. Sam can defend himself pretty well, too.”

“I know Sam can, I raised that guy, but he’s not gonna fuck up his perfect record into a good college because of that jackass.”

Pamela wrote something down on her clipboard. Immediately, Dean went into defensive mode, more than he was.

“What the hell did you just write?” She peered at him through her long lashes as she kept scribbling on her clipboard. He was able to control his breathing so it wouldn’t flare up his nostrils, but his knuckles had turned white due to how hard he was clenching his fists. He wanted to rip that paper, rip away any evidence that he was anything _but_ okay, yet all the movement Dean did was bounce his leg again. What the hell had she written? When had Dean let his shield down long enough for her to pick up on it? Did she write about Sam? His leg stopped bouncing; his fists unclenched as he slowly straightened his back. Dean wasn’t mad, he was _furious_ ; he was ready to leap from the couch and attack the very words she had written. But he was calm, cool, collected. The peaceful humming of calm before the storm.

“You raised your brother?” Pamela finally asked.

“You really think that snot-nosed kid learned how to fight on his own?” Dean was looking at her, thinking of reasons why he shouldn’t walk out. But then she would have something to write on her fucking clipboard, so he sat still, starring at those brown eyes.

“Your dad didn’t do a good enough job?”

“Well, if you consider staying out all night at bars and leaving us alone at the house for hours _any_ kind of job, then yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Is that why you’re so protective of Sam?” Pamela had left the pen rest on the clipboard’s surface, propping her chin on her hand. So far, she hadn’t written anything down.

“He’s my little brother,” Dean said as he linked his fingers together, “I’ll always protect him. No matter what.”

“Even when he asks you not to?”

“Especially when he asks me not to. He’s too damn smart for his own to be fighting someone like Gordon.”

“Sam said the same thing about you.” His blood was boiling under his skin, but the same calmness washed over him; the same waves that crashed into him right before he beat the shit out of someone. “Sam _also_ mentioned that you’ve been having nightmares.”

The anger, for a second, was pushed away by confusion, but it just came barreling back. “Bullshit. Sam wouldn’t talk to a shrink about my damn issues.”

“Why not?”

“Because he knows he’d have me to deal with.” Dean did the mistake of taking her look of pity as concern. Nobody worried about him except Sam, even those who were paid to care. He was shaken from his thoughts when Pamela’s soft voice spoke.

“He talked to me because he’s worried. Sam wants to help you, but since you won’t let him, he told me about your nightmares, so I can help you.”

“Well that’s not his place.” Pamela opened her mouth to say something but Dean was pretty sure if he heard her ask another one of her fucking questions he’d do something he’d regret. “Look, I’m the big brother; I’m the one that has raised Sam since I was four.” He ran a hand through his hair but never once looked away from Pamela. “He’s not supposed to see me like this. Sam can’t see me coming to fucking counseling or see me kicking and screaming at night because of a bad dream, he can’t. He’s not the one who looks out for me; _I’m_ the one who looks out for _him_. _I’m_ the one who takes care of him; _I’m_ the one who needs to keep him safe, to protect him.”

Dean was talking louder, fiercer, than he meant. It was the result of keeping his feelings bottled up 24/7. The more he talked, the more his anger boiled up; it got harder to see _who_ he was mad at; Pamela, for asking so many fucking questions, Sam, for talking to her about him… or himself for being so damn weak.

Pamela’s brows were creased in question, her pen still scribbling words on her paper. Dean’s leg was bouncing again and his fingers were painfully interlaced, and he didn’t look away from Pamela’s eyes.

“I think Sam can protect himself from a harmless bully like Gordon. Is that why you’re protecting him?”

“Not really. Gordon knows if he keeps messing with Sam, he’ll end up with a broken nose and ribs.”

“Then what are you protecting him from?”

“From everything,” Dean yelled. Everything he’d been holding onto was slipping from his shoulders and flowing out of his mouth, and there was no way to stop it from coming out now. “From Gordon, yes, but from other kids too; from having to deal with all the crap his family has made him go through, from dad, from-” that’s when he stopped. That’s when the same fear and shame came over him and made him shut up.

“From…” Pamela prompted. Dean’s lip was quivering, and his green eyes were filled with fear… with sadness and desperation. “Dean? What are you protecting Sam from?” His hands were shaking and his breathing shook from his mouth as he breathed out.

 _From me._ Those two words bounced around his head, echoing in his hollow mind. _I’m protecting him from me._

“Dean, what are you afraid of?” That’s when he dropped his gaze.

** Friday, June 5th **

Dean was the only one in the bus but even if there were a hundred other kids he would’ve ignored them all. His duffel bag was at his side, which they didn’t check as well as they had made it to seem, since his pack of cigarettes was seated at the bottom of the bag. He was listening to music as he watched the trees blend into green, as the bus drove deeper and deeper into the forest, his earphones vibrating against his ears since the music was at top volume.

It was a long drive, more than two hours to get there, but even when the clearing of where the camp was come into view, Dean just sank into his seat, dreading what was about to come.

The bus pulled up next to the biggest cabin at the camp, the walls painted red, as the two-story house shined with the morning sun. Each window had a flower bed underneath it, and the porch was a dark brown with recliner chairs, a cup of lemonade set beside each one.

It was fucking hideous.

“Come on kid, I ain’t got all day.” The police officer was motioning for Dean to get up, his other hand poised on his hip. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5,_ He was trying to count until he knew he wouldn’t snap. So far it wasn’t working.

He rolled his earphones around his iPod and walked to the front of the bus, saluting to the officer before getting off.

It was ten in the morning, the sun beating down hard but cool air made up for it. The cafeteria was to his right while two smaller cabins were across the circular fireplace in the middle of everything.

Two other cabins, parallel to the ones across from him, were behind him. There was also a lake behind the cabins in front of him, huge and glimmering under the sun.

“Those,” the officer said as he pointed to the cabins in front of the lake, “are the boy’s cabins. The two behind us are the girl’s. If a boy is in the girl’s cabin, or if a girl is in the boy’s cabin, the door must be open at all times. We trust you idiots to be smart enough and not be breaking the rules.”

“What happens if I do?” Dean taunted.

“Believe me,” the officer leaned in close to his space, Dean leaning away from his greasy face, “you don’t want to know.”

The guy grabbed Dean by the forearm and dragged him into the Big House. He didn’t even have time to register anything in it before he was pushed into a large officer room.

A man was seated behind the desk, writing on paper but never looked up.

“Sit,” the officer ordered. Dean thought of many witty things he could’ve said but decided to just do as he was told. The chair was stiff and uncomfortable, but Dean did his best to not shift too much.

The guy could’ve _really_ laid off the hamburgers once in a while. As if he had heard, the man lifted his gaze and fixed it on Dean. He took of his glasses and lightly placed them on the desk.

“Dean, I presume.”

“That’s me.”

“Welcome to Black Water Camp. I am Mr. Smith but you will call me ‘sir’. Understood?”

 _Bite me._ “Yes, sir.”

“Excellent, I am sure we’ll get along just fine.”

“As am I,” Dean said with an awkwardly big smile as he vigorously shook Mr. Smith’s extended hand. He eventually yanked his hand from Dean’s firm grasp with a ‘trying to be polite’ smile.

“Well, some things before the officer takes you back outside,” Mr. Smith glanced at the door and his face formed into disbelief. “Rufus, we talked about this.”

Dean didn’t turn around but he heard the officer scoff. “Oh, right.”

“Put those away, we don’t want to make these damn fools second-hand smokers, now do we?” This time, Dean turned his head, barely but clearly able to see Rufus place the pack in his back pocket.

“Anyway, Mr. Winchester, a few things you should know: Wake up time is six each morning, breakfast at six thirty until seven thirty. Every day, we will have different activities that may be only boys or only girls. On weekends, it is your day off to do whatever you want with adult supervision.” Dean nodded along as Mr. Smith listed the set of activities they would do on each day of the week. This was going to be a long summer. “Every night from nine to ten, we will have a bonfire, kind of a wrapping up of the day activity. Everyone will be in their cabins at ten, but lights out is at eleven. Any questions?”

Finally he said something that actually concerned him. “Yeah, when will we get to make calls?” Sam was going to be alone at home with his dad, and that was something Dean would never forgive himself for doing to his brother.

“You can call home every Friday. Anything else?”

“That’s about it.” The chair was biting into his ass, the air inside the office was stiff, and it was suffocating him.

“Fantastic. Rufus, please escort Mr. Winchester out onto The Pit.”

Dean was yanked out of his seat by an under his arm pit, dragged out of the office and through the rest of the house. Right before Rufus opened the door, however, he turned to face Dean, glaring down at him.

“I know you think you’re all bad and all kid, but trust me, you ain’t.” He wasn’t easily intimidated, but Dean hated to admit that he was wishing Mr. Smith would pop out of his office. “Right now you’re feeling like a hot shot but after a while, that’ll go away. We didn’t just drop you at a nice summer vacation resort that happened to have an opening. Black Water Camp is where all ‘troubled’ kids, put nicely, come to rot for a whole summer, since your family doesn’t want you. You think you’re bad now? Wait until you meet the others; there are guys that will rip you limb from limb and girls who will beat you to a pulp given the opportunity.”

“Well if they’re so bad, why aren’t they in Juvy?”

He was in thin ice and he knew it, yet he couldn’t help the comment from coming out.

Rufus pointed a finger at Dean’s chest, pushing to the point that it hurt. “You smart mouth any adults at this camp, you’ll have me to deal with. But if you smart mouth any of the kids out there,” he said as he pointed the same finger at the door, “we might just return you to your daddy with a brand new nose.” He wasn’t scared, _no_ , but when Rufus opened the door, he was fighting to stay inside.

** Day #1 **

Castiel’s group had arrived at camp at six. Imagine: 15 guys who had woken up at three in the morning with no food or anything else to keep them awake. Now, imagine 15 guys who were sent to a camp for ‘bad’ kids being on a bus that moved way too much to take a decent nap in. Finally, picture how these pissed off guys who were already being sent to a camp for misbehavior might act around other pissed off guys who were sent to camp for the same reason.

Yeah, not pretty.

But most guys’ anger turned to excitement when the girl’s bus arrived at seven. Castiel pretty much kept to himself as the sixteen girls interacted with the fourteen guys.

This was such a bad set up. Girls between the ages of 15 to 17 known for bad behavior set only 20 feet apart from boys 15 to 17 known for bad behavior. How the hell was that supposed to work?

Soon after the girls had arrived, the two groups were lead to the cafeteria and were fed breakfast. That’s when Castiel learned he had a disadvantage. Already each table had its own group that was talking loudly to each other, laughing and joking.

He wasn’t bothered by it; he had been an independent guy since he was seven. Castiel was use to the routine. He made his way to a corner of the cafeteria that the masses hadn’t yet claimed. And to his good fortune, it was right next to a window that looked out onto the lake. Castiel had always loved nature, being outdoors, feeling free, with absolutely no boundaries.

That’s what every other boy and girl there missed. They saw the opportunity of being at that camp as a cruel punishment for their behavior. It was meant to be a punishment, but that didn’t stop Castiel from appreciating the wilderness around him. It was nice.

After breakfast, they were dragged around camp and shown where everything was. They wanted about around the clock security. So, they better not try and run for it. Since any sort of civilization was miles away, why even try?

They took their bags to their cabins, Castiel dropping his on the top bunk of the bunk bed to the left of the door. There were two bunk beds on each side of the cabin, end to end. Castiel was already sick of the close proximity. Luckily, since 15 didn’t divide evenly, there were only seven guys in his cabin, one bed left empty until the guy on the top bunk decided to put his bag on it.

“Everybody settled in? Good.” The officer, Jody Mills, had her hands on her hips as she glared at all the boys in the cabin. “Now, since we like you guys so much, you’ll be going outside again to play a get to know you better game.” All the guys began to protest, but Castiel stayed silent. He hated the idea of bonding with anybody at this camp, but Jody wouldn’t let him go through the summer without at least making one friend.

Castiel was beginning to like Black Water Camp less and less.

The guys slowly filtered out of the cabin, hissing at the sun, Castiel was the last one to get out.

“Castiel wait.” He wasn’t surprised. He stepped inside into the cabin where Jody was waiting, her arms folded against her chest as she gave him a questioning look. “How you doing? You okay?”

Castiel shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his face neutral. “I’m okay.”

She smiled at him, lightly placing her hands on his shoulders. Her smile was so kind and warm, but the smile Castiel gave her was just to prove that he was alright.

“This is good for you kid. After this, everything will be better.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze.

She eventually let him join the group at The Pit, the fireplace in front of their cabin and in the middle of camp. They had spread them out in a circle around the fireplace, in boy-girl order. Castiel was already regretting having ever thought that camp would be fun. One of the many counselors started to talk but was interrupted by the door of the Big House being pushed open; a big man was dragging out a struggling guy. He pushed the teen down the porch steps, and he would’ve lost his balance if he hadn’t been caught by members of the circle. All of the guys snickered and the girls whispered to each other. The guy that had caught the army jacket guy pushed him away, the guy glared at him while he dusted himself off.

The guy followed the police officer that had pushed him off the porch, towards the bus, but abruptly stopped when the officer turned around with a sneer.

“What the hell you think you’re doing?” the officer asked with mock confusion.

“What-what do you mean?”

“Oh kid, you’re stayin’ here with these lovely morons for the whole summer. Did your little pea-sized brain not get that?”

The guy’s eyes got wide, his duffel bag falling to his feet. “What?!”

The officer began to laugh but was startled when the guy threw himself on him, the guy grabbing the officer’s collar in the balls of his fists.

“Get off me!”

“You can’t leave me here!” The guy was panicking, shaking the officer, as if to make him understand. “I’m not gonna make it out here!” They’ll tear me apart!” A couple counselors broke away from the group and rushed over to the officer’s aid. When the guy noticed the counselors moving in on him, he took shield behind the officer, peering over the man’s shoulder at the other adults. “No! You can’t make me stay!”

“Oh yes we can!” The officer reached behind him, but the guy easily dodged his hands. He tried to turn around but the guy just moved to stay behind him.

“No! Please, you can’t!” He hugged the officer’s torso and buried his face to the man’s back. At this point, everyone was laughing, grabbing their stomachs and wiping away tears. Castiel could do nothing but stare.

“Get it together!” The officer turned around and grabbed the guy by the shoulders, shaking him. “You can’t start whining now! Maybe next time you’re beating the crap out of someone or stealing from convenient stores, you’ll think of the consequences.”

The guy nodded vigorously with wide eyes, dusting himself off again, when the officer let him go. He was still standing in the same place when the officer had driven away in the bus.

“If you’re done having your melt down, come join the circle.” The counselors returned to their spots in the circle while the rest of the group tried to stop laughing. Pretty quickly, everyone had turned their attention away from him, but Castiel was still staring. He was able to see the guy flip something in his hand once before swiftly placing it in his back pocket, walking towards the group with a smirk.

“Alright, now that the show is over, we can get to our activity. Actually,” Counselor Zach said as he fixed his gaze on the new corner, “why don’t you start us off.”

He caught the volleyball Counselor Zach had been holding onto and tossed it in the air as he spoke, still tossing the ball. “What do you want me to say?”

“You can start with your name, why you’re here, and what you hope to gain from this experience.”

“Okay,” he caught the ball and smiled at the group. “Hi, my name is Dean Winchester, I’m here because I couldn’t stay out of trouble, and I hope to gain a couple of phone numbers this summer,” he said as he threw a wink at some girl. All the girls began to whistle and hollered at him, while Dean just chuckled.

“Thank you,” Zach said flatly, “for sharing with the rest of the group. Now throw that to someone else in the group.”

It went on for a while, everyone sharing why they were sent to Black Water Camp. Castiel had listened to the first five people who shared, but they were all there for the same reason, so instead he looked at the group.

He didn’t belong there. Sure Castiel had done some crappy stuff that he regretted and wished he could take back, but he didn’t belong at that camp with these people. Castiel wasn’t a problematic guy.

He was startled from his thoughts when the volleyball was hurled towards his chest, which he easily caught but grunted from the impact. All the guys started “ooh” in mock amazement, only making him hate this place more and more.

“Uh,” he slowly turned the ball in his hands, still looking at the ground, “my name is Castiel,” waiting until the snickers die out, “and I’m here because I ran away one too many times and destruction of property.”

“What you’d do?”

It took him a second to realize that the question was directed to him. Castiel, without really meaning to, glanced over at the new guy. He was looking right back.

“What’d you do?” He asked again. Castiel glared at the guy, at Dean for making him talk more than he wanted to.

“I set an old barn yard on fire.”

“Well that’s little fucked up.” They were glaring at each other, and Castiel didn’t need to look away to know everyone was looking from him to Dean and back to him.

“You’re here too, so you can’t be that much of a saint.” Castiel wasn’t one to have a comeback for any sort of comment, but there was just this thing about Dean that made Castiel so _mad._ He had his arms folded and a cocky look on his face that was so irrationally frustrating.

“I might not be a saint,” his serious expression broke into a wicked grin, “but I can’t still make you get down on your knees and feel blessed.”

Immediately, all the guys began to holler and the girls were laughing their heads off, Dean smirked at him. He might’ve barely met the guy, but Castiel _hated_ Dean.

“Alright, alright! Everybody calm down.” It took a couple of minutes for everyone to settle down, snickering and throwing side comments towards Castiel. He was still holding the volleyball.

“Thank you Mr. Winchester,” Counselor Zach said pointedly at Dean, “for the graceful input you contributed to the group.”

“Any time,” he said loudly, earning a few laughs that quickly died out. Castiel was slowly turning the volleyball again, looking at its white surface. It was middle school all over again and just like before, Castiel could do nothing to defend himself. He had to coward under the tougher guy to survive, afraid of his own ability to beat the shit out of people. That’d been the same reason he had run away from his first foster home.

Counselor Zach motioned for Castiel to throw the ball, and his hands felt weird not being able to hold onto something. Instead, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking down at the ground and trying to count every pebble.

“That was our ‘Get to know you’ portion of the day, so now, we’ll show you where you’ll be spending most of your time this summer.” Jody broke from the circle and motioned for the group to follow her, leading them to a path next to the Big House.

At first, Castiel just stood there, waiting for everyone to walk in front of him, so he’d avoid everybody else. At this point, he was counting the days until he’d be able to leave and go… where?

Before his thoughts got too weird for his taste, he began to follow the group when he saw Dean still standing there too, arms still folded and those piercing eyes staring right at him. It was a moment of hesitation, but he broke eye contact and walked past Dean and toward the dirt path the group had gone on.

Castiel was only able to walk a couple of steps before Dean was walking right beside him, hands inside if his army jacket’s pockets. He didn’t glance or even acknowledge Dean’s presence, wary of what he’d do if Dean spoke a single word.

“Your name is Castiel right?”

“Yes.” They were both looking straight ahead, about five feet away from the rear of the group.

“That’s a weird fucking name; your parents must’ve thought you were damn special.” Castiel didn’t bother responding to that. “What’s your last name?”

All the questions Dean was asking were only irritating Castiel even more. “Novak.”

“Castiel Novak?” Dean laughed with incredulous shock. “Kinda sounds like a crappy tongue twister.” With every word, Castiel’s fist clenched a little tighter. “But hey, who am I to judge? I mean, my last name is a type of alcohol, and it ain’t really a conversation piece.”

Castiel kept looking forward. _GOD this kid is annoying_. He walked a little faster, trying to get closer to the group and away from Dean, but he’d just catch up and walk beside him again.

“Why you’d set that barn yard on fire?” Castiel looked down at the ground, his pace slightly slowing. He wasn’t the talking type already, and he _really_ didn’t want to share his thought process while lighting up the barn like a candle, which wasn’t even what had happened. “Hey, it’s cool. You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious why anybody would set a barn yard on fire.”

Castiel stepped in front of Dean, causing the other to step back in surprise. “I know for a fact that all the girls here will try to get you to get inside their pants by the end of the week; the guys already think you’re the funniest kid here, and the counselors are always eyeing you to make sure you don’t do anything. I don’t know of it’s this desire to be liked or to just be the center of attention, either way, stop trying.” Castile didn’t know who was more surprised, Dean or himself.

Castiel was quiet, took everyone’s crap, might’ve been dying little by little but insisted he was fine. He was the one who made no impression whatsoever, kind of blended to the background. But right now, he was ready to throw away a tolerable summer and punch the guy in the face.

Dean quickly went from surprised to angry, fire burning in his eyes.

“Don’t pretend to know my reasoning behind everything I do because you don’t. You have no _fucking_ idea who I am.” Dean spit the words out and they were inches from each other. Castiel should’ve felt scared, or angry, anything really, but he felt no emotion at all as Dean fumed and clenched his fists. Only mild curiosity. He had gone from joking around to ready to tear Castiel apart in less than a second.

“You’re right, I don’t know you. So why don’t you take that packet of cigarettes you stole from Officer Rufus, go smoke somewhere deep in the woods, and leave me the hell alone.” It came out flat as to not trigger the guy. He was breathing hard and kept on clenching his jaw but didn’t say anything.

Even if he did, it didn’t matter. Castiel had turned around and started walking towards the group, 10 feet away, with his hands in his front pockets. Against his better judgment, maybe to make sure he wasn’t going to be tackled, he quickly glanced over his shoulder to see an empty dirt road and the trees surrounding the camp.

He turned his gaze to the back of the group again, still 10 feet away. They were headed to the same destination, no need to rush to catch up. Castiel looked around at the tall trees and bushes holding some sort of berry, and without meaning to, sank into memory. Even though the only noise the birds were making was quiet chirps lost in the foliage of the trees, he was able to hear the owl’s wings as it flew deeper into the dark. Sunshine was filtering in through the branches and wind was blowing fresh air, but he could still feel the cold shivers that ran down his spine as he cradled himself and tried to fall asleep on the hard ground.

No, he wasn’t going to do this to himself. He wasn’t going to feel sorry for his own mistakes.

He ran towards the group, which had stopped at a clearing with a small building to the far left of the space. It looked like it would fall down if somebody so much as exhaled in its direction.

“That’s the Shack. You’ll be coming here twice a week and this activity will be divided between guys and girls.” Everyone began to talk, and in between the conversations, he was able to hear the cracking of twigs and leaves being ruffled. When he looked to the right he was able to see Dean blowing the last of smoke out of his mouth. Castiel was still looking at him when he began to walk towards the group, but Dean was looking straight ahead.

He would’ve believed that Dean didn’t see him if it wasn’t for him bumping against Castiel’s shoulder. _Fucking child_. Jody kept explaining some of the activities they would be doing inside the Shack and Castiel tried to focus as best he could but just seeing that run down building brought the heat of a roaring fire and the too vivid memory of screaming. The screaming is what haunted him the most.

His feet would’ve been rooted in place if it wasn’t for the short girl that had linked their arms together and was dragging him towards the group that had headed towards another dirt path.

“Well aren’t you a quiet fox.” Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking down at the girl with black curly hair. She looked up at him, her brown eyes twinkling with amusement. “Oh don’t worry Castle, I don’t bite. At least not on the first date,” she said with a suggestive wink.

“My name isn’t Castle.”

“Then what’s your name?”

“Castiel.”

She seemed to consider it for a while, nodding and scanning over Castiel’s body in a predatory way. “Well, _Castiel_ , I’m Meg and I have a _very_ good feeling that we’ll get along just fine.”

They walked along the border of Black Water Lake towards a long wooden building that was half on land and half on the water. Inside, the floor was shaped like U, water from the lake in the middle. Two cones with ankle-high water and a very rusty motor boat was floating on the water. There were only four walls inside the building too, the building opening up to look out at the glistening lake.

“This is the Port. You guys won’t be spending a lot of time here but you will come in here when needed.”

Castiel had his hands in his pockets while Meg’s arm was still hooked to his. Half of the group had gone to one side of the dock while Castiel and the rest were on the other side. He hadn’t meant to but he’d noticed Dean shuffling and looking through some of the shelves that lined the walls. He picked up a can and scanned it before bringing it up to his nose. Immediately, he recoiled and dropped the can back on the shelf with a look of disgust. He truly was a child.

“On the weekend some of the counselors might be fishing and those who want to join can come in here to get a fishing pole-” Jody, however, had caught Castiel’s eyes. For a moment she was at a loss of words, looking at him with astonishment. Castiel looked down at the short girl besides him, another wink thrown his way as she shuffled closer to him. He met Jody’s wide eyes again and he tried his best at a nonchalant shrug. “Uh, anyway, this activity _will_ be with both boys and girls and some lucky few will be able to work some jobs in here.”

The groups had started to talk to one another, throwing around some paddles and making a bigger mess than there already was. Meg was resting her head against Castiel’s forearm since she was too short to reach his shoulder. He didn’t like it exactly; she was in here for a reason, but he didn’t protest against it either.

“I’m so glad they brought me here instead of Juvy.”

“Why is that?” he asked even though he wasn’t paying attention, looking at chaos unraveling around him.

“Sarcasm isn’t one of your languages is it?”

“I _do_ speak five different languages.”

He felt Meg remove her arm from his and when Castiel looked at her she had a wicked grin on her face with her hands crossed. “You’re just a bag of surprises aren’t you?”

Castiel frowned but didn’t think too much of it since Counselor Zach was screaming at the top of his lungs as he tried to calm everyone. Eventually everyone had calmed down enough for Zach to explain the other crap about the Port the kids just HAD to know. To Castiel it was all background noise that distracted him from his darker than usual thoughts as he looked at the surface of the lake. There were no ripples on the water or twigs sticking out of the surface. It was a perfect mirror.

He’d forgotten what peace of mind was in the process of running away and trying to make it one more day. Sometimes, on the rarest of occasions, he was able to focus on one thing and be happy with staying, but there was always something that made him turn away, run miles and miles without looking back.

Castiel was tired of running.

This time, when the group started heading out, he was the first one to exit the smelly building. As they made their way back to The Pit, Counselor Zach pointed out the warehouse where Black Water Camp’s supplies were. Right next to it were the communal bathrooms. The counselors said that they trusted them to be adults about the situation and not completely screw it up. Castiel knew it was asking for trouble. Throughout the rest of the tour, he expected Meg to come and hook their arms together again or for Dean to try at conversation again. He arrived at The Pit alone while the rest of the group chattered away.

It was amazing to think that 2 hours had passed since the first time they were there, but they had and it was time for lunch. While everyone fought over slices of bread to create their sandwiches, Castiel sat at his isolated table looking out the window. Not even a day and he was already regretting coming here in the first place. He should’ve run when he had the chance. “What the hell dude!” Somebody yelled from the lunch setup table. Not to Castiel’s surprise, the guy yelling was talking to Dean.

“What?”

“You already have three sandwiches; can you leave some ham for the rest of us?”

“Tell you what; the day that you can reach the table I’ll give you your slices of ham.” The other guy _was_ relatively shorter than Dean, and when he stepped closer with his fists balled up, he barely reached Dean’s chest.

“Want to say that again?” he growled.

“I find it a waste since you still won’t be able to hear me all way down there.”

Everyone was glancing from Dean to the other guy, waiting for the punches to start flying, but Castiel’s gaze was fixed on Dean. This guy was looking for trouble, and when it found him, he didn’t back down.

To everyone’s confusion, even Dean’s, the guy began to laugh. Dean was smiling down at him and others might’ve confused it for amusement, but Castiel saw the twitch of his jaw.

Before anyone else could fully register it, the smaller guy had thrown his fist upwards with all the strength he could muster. But Dean was too damn quick, catching the fist with his left hand before it made contact with his face and bending it behind the guy. Dean bent the guy over the table, still holding his fist behind his back while his other hand pressed the guy’s face to the table.

“Try that again, I’ll make sure you have no fists to throw at people. Got it?” Dean hissed while leaning over the guy.

The room had gone completely quiet as Dean let go of the guy and shoved his shaking fists into his jacket’s pockets. It was such a quick movement that Castiel almost missed how much they were shaking. Almost.

The guy lifted himself from the table and started advancing towards Dean, who wasn’t backing away, until the guy was stopped by the towering form of Zach.

“Gentlemen, do we have a problem here?” Nobody in the room answered. “I’m only going to ask this once more,” Zach said as he raised his voice, “do we have a problem here?” The group mumbled their ‘No Sir’ but that wasn’t enough to satisfy him. “Mr. Walker, is there a problem?”

“No Sir,” he grumbled as he kept glaring at Dean.

“Mr. Winchester, is there a problem?”

“Nope. Everything is peachy.” He had the smuggest smile Castiel had ever seen someone give.

The bright smile was so different from the tension in the room that Castiel almost burst out laughing. Only now did he realize how dangerous Dean was. He was a stick of TNT lit from both ends, everyone around him waiting for him to explode. Dean Winchester wasn’t looking for trouble; he was what trouble hid from.

Zach glared around the room for a while, making everyone coward under his gaze. “Alright since everything here is ‘Peachy’ we might as well start with our afternoon activities.”

Castiel hadn’t gotten up from his seat and soon it was just him and Dean in the vast cafeteria.

 “Son of a bitch,” he murmured as he pulled out the white pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and lit one up. He sat on the table with his back to Castiel, not realizing that he was still there. Smoke drifted upwards in small twirls, then coming as smoke rings that dissolved halfway before reaching the ceiling. There was something oddly hypnotic about the various sizes of the smoke rings that once again became twirls in the air.

“Mind if I have one?”

Dean jumped as the silence was disrupted in the cool room. It took him a while, but he was able to find the source of the voice, his hard glare returning.

“I don’t know, doesn’t that mean me interacting with you and not leaving you the hell alone?”

“I’m not trying to pick a fight, so there’s no need for you to get angry. All I’m asking for is a cigarette.”

“Yeah, well here’s your cigarette,” Dean said as he flipped Castiel off. “And here’s another one in case the first one wasn’t enough for you.” He was still holding up both middle fingers as he left the cafeteria and left Castiel sitting alone.

It was going to be an interesting summer.

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ** **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ** **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

By the time dinner rolled around, everyone was sweating and grunting from the effort walking had become. Castiel and a few others were the only ones not struggling for breath since they were used to working out.

They had spent the whole afternoon arranging the food boxes and other supplies inside of the warehouse to make it easier to find what they would need for all of their meals.

Even though he had done a pretty good job at hiding the food, Castiel was able to notice that Dean’s army jacket was bulkier than it had been before they had entered the warehouse, that smug smile back in place.

The Pit was blazing with fire, chasing away the cold that had settled with the night. The log Castiel had sat on was cold but the fire warmed up pretty quickly. Even with the fire less than four feet away from him a cold shiver ran down his spine, reminding him of the ever blazing fire of the farmhouse.

He focused his thoughts across the fire instead, trying to stop the screams that were echoing across his mind. To his great fortune, Dean was sitting just on the other side of the fire. His legs were on either side of the log while he talked to two girls, twins, who were blushing and giggling.

Whatever Dean was saying must’ve been extremely funny since two other girls joined the group, sitting next to the twins. Soon all five of them were laughing hysterically, attracting the attention of the rest of the group.

“What do you think he’s saying that’s so funny?” Meg asked as she sat next to Castiel and interlocked their arms once more.

“Probably a humorous joke. Most likely they’re just laughing in an attempt to seem flirtatious.”

Castiel looked down at Meg with surprise when he felt her body shake with laughter. He didn’t make jokes all the time and when he did, people just gave him puzzled looks.

It was a quiet giggle that was muffled by a hand on the lips. It was cute, no other word to describe it. He felt warmth spread throughout his chest as he looked down at Meg resting her head against his arm. The smallest hint of a smile played on his own lips, but when he directed his eyes across the fire again, he was met with intense green eyes.

Dean was glaring at him, glancing at Meg and his brow creased in annoyance. When his eyes met with Castiel’s again, he tilted his head in confusion, trying to figure out why Dean was glaring at them. He turned his attention back to the girls, and his face broke into a smile as if he hadn’t been staring daggers at Castiel just seconds ago.

“Ugh, did you see that?” He turned his attention back to Meg.

“See what?”

“The way Dean was looking at me, like a freaking animal.” It was an unexpected feeling that left him confused for a second before he realized what it was. Castiel had gotten jealous of Dean looking at Meg.

He’d met interesting people before but he’d never gotten _jealous_ over someone he’d barely met. Especially when they had only said about three sentences to each other per conversation.

But he couldn’t get attached; Castiel couldn’t make himself an anchor to this place. That would just make it harder for him to leave…

Castiel stood up abruptly, staring at Meg.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh, I need to talk to Officer Mills. I’ll see you later.” He turned his back to the fire and headed towards his cabin and was met halfway by Jody.

“Castiel, what are you doing?”

“I can’t.” He was shaky and out of breath. “I’m trying, I really am, but I can’t Jody.”

“Can’t? Can’t what?”

“I can’t sit around for a whole damn month with the same people! I can’t!” Jody was worried and that was obvious but Castiel couldn’t help himself. He was panicking just thinking about being tied down to one place with no chance of escape.

“Okay Castiel, calm down.”

And he did something he wasn’t necessarily proud of, he hugged her. At first they both froze and didn’t move or even speak, but then Castiel felt her strong, warm hands on his back. He’d forgotten why he’d hugged her in the first place, but he tightened his arms around Jody’s waist and sank his face on her shoulder.

“I know it’s difficult to find a stable home or even reason to stay, but you’ll get there.” Now he remembered. After a couple more seconds, he pulled away, but Jody placed her warm hands on his shoulders. “I know you Castiel, you don’t give up easy. You’ll make it to the end of the summer.”

He nodded and before he could regret anything he headed towards the cabin again, placing the map he’d sneaked from Jody’s back pocket into his own pocket.

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ** **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ** **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

 His back was against the wall while his book was propped up by his knees. His black hair brushed against the ceiling and his leg swung from the side. Castiel had calmed down and had lost himself between the pages of his book as he walked along side Gatsby in the afternoon sun.

The seven guys that busted into the cabin, however loud, or how many slaps his leg got, could not distract him.

“ _Man_ there are some fine ass honeys at this camp,” the guy from the top bed on the same wall said. “I have _no_ idea how I’m gonna make it this summer.”

“I know how _I’m_ gonna do it,” said the one below Castiel’s bed. “That girl, Jenna. She could barely keep her hands off me AND she’s a cheerleader so you _know_ she can bend all kinds of ways.”

“Nah dude, that’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a _cheerleader_. They’re high class. They won’t go all the way with a guy who takes care of his hair more than she does.” Laughs erupted throughout the cabin that taunted the guy.

“Even if she wasn’t a cheerleader, she wouldn’t do it,” Castiel said without looking away from his book. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, but he wouldn’t meet any of them, keeping his eyes on the letters on the page.

“Yeah? And why is that? I think I’m good looking enough for Jenna to _at least_ get to third base with.”

“Anybody with any shred of self-respect wouldn’t have sex with anybody in this cabin.” It came out more aggressive than what Castiel meant, but everything he said was true.

“Doesn’t that apply to you too, though? I’m not saying you could even get to holding hands with anybody, but that girl you had around your arm the whole day sure seemed friendly. I bet she’d be down if I ask _very_ nicely.”

He was standing in front of the guy in a second, his glare focused on the shorter guy. For a second it looked like he would back down, but he stood his ground, puffing up his chest. He looked like a child.

“Come on Gabriel,” Dean called from his bottom bed, “we all know that the only way you’ll get any this summer is if you masturbate since you’re the only one with low enough standards to fuck you.”

Immediately everyone began to holler and started jumping around like maniacs. It was chaos but even Gabriel was laughing. Castiel had never seen anything like it. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was always jumping from foster home to foster home. Soon, it seemed like the whole camp was yelling random crap into the otherwise quiet night.

Castiel climbed up to his bed again to not get more involved in the madness, but he was transfixed with the guys shoving each other and the whole camp screaming and the top of their lungs.

Pretty soon, Castiel could feel the smile that was displayed on his face and the genuine feeling of happiness. Everybody here was sent to this camp because no other place would take them, but here everyone was able to accept that they were all a little fucked up.

In between all the chaos and confusion, he met those hard green eyes. This time, however, it wasn’t the same glare from the campfire. It was curiosity.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Counselor Zach yelled. Nobody answered him and that was a bad play on their part since he only got angrier. “I don’t like repeating myself, so somebody better start talking and explaining why you’re yelling like damn animals at the zoo!” Still, nobody said a word. “Fine, you guys want to be little smartasses? Lights out!” He switched off the lights and slammed the door shut.

“He does know we can just turn the light back on, right?” Gabriel asked in the darkness.

“I don’t want to pick a fight with him; he’s kind of scary.” There were some weak laughs, but nobody turned on the light. It took an hour for everyone to stop talking, another two for everyone to fall asleep.

Almost everyone.

** Saturday, June 6th **

He woke up gasping for air and covered in sweat. That damn nightmare again. His body was tangled in the mess of blankets, but he pushed them away because he was sweating from head to toe. Everything around him was still pitch black, and when Dean checked his watch, it illuminated his face. 2:35 A.M. He tried to control his breathing, the same way he did when he got angry. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5…_

Dean sat up on his bed, running a hand through his moist hair, when he heard the quiet thump. He strained his ears trying to hear another sound but he only heard the crickets outside.

 _Maybe I imagined it_ , Dean tried to convince himself, but then he heard it again, another quiet thump. His eyes were getting used to the darkness, giving him the opportunity to see somebody climb down the top bed. It was the bed diagonal to his.

 _Castiel_ , Dean remembered. He didn’t move or even breath, just watched as the guy quietly put on his jacket. What the hell was he doing?

He was like a damn cat, dressing himself and putting on his shoes without making a sound.

“If you’re having trouble with nightmares,” Castiel muttered but it was able to carry out in the quiet of the room, “you should try getting some fresh air. It helps clear your head.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Dean whispered louder than Castiel had.

“I don’t get nightmares.”

 _Well good for fucking you._ “Then why are you leaving?”

“Because I don’t sleep.” The door was closed but thousands of questions opened up in his mind. By four, Castiel still hadn’t returned. 


	2. Chapter 2

** Day #2 **

Castiel had stopped running at around 5 in the morning, stopping by a hill to watch the sunrise as he let his body be washed by the cold morning air. His legs were burning and his lungs seemed ready to explode. It was the best damn feeling in the world.

All he wanted to do was go back to the cabin and sleep that last hour he had left but he was dripping with sweat and smelled like outdoors. The water from the shower was freezing for about 5 minutes, making Castiel huddle in the corner and wait for it to get warmer.

The screeching pipes and the water slapping his face was enough distraction that was well welcomed. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, slowly rinsing it with shampoo that smelled like mint mixed with a dean animal. Next time, he was bringing his own.

He ran to his cabin and quietly opened the door. Everyone was still sleeping, the only light coming in through the window. Dean was sleeping but oddly enough, his combat boots were on his feet and his jacket lay next to him.

His face was peaceful, relaxed, yet his body twitched with whatever was going on in his head. He was having another nightmare.

It was an irrational thought but Castiel wanted to sooth him, to make sure Dean knew that it was okay and that it was just a bad dream. Something nobody had ever done for him.

Castiel didn’t have more time to think about it as he heard feet against gravel coming towards the boy’s cabin. He jumped up onto his bed, startling the guy on the bottom, and closed his eyes just as Counselor Zach bust the door open and switched the lights on.

“Rise and shine delinquents, its morning time!” Grunts and loud yawns filled the cabin as everyone got up and stretched. These guys were always ready to pick a fight and right now, sleepy and barely keeping their eyes open, a fight could break out any second. Castiel stayed seated on his bed and waited for the guys to become fully aware, which Gabriel seemed the first to get there.

“Oh shit,” he said to nobody in particular, “the girls.”

“What about them?”

“They’re gonna get to the bathroom first.” It took them a second to really understand what Gabriel was saying but when they did they stampeded out the door and ran towards the bathrooms, clothes and toothbrushes flying in the air.

Castiel jumped back down, ready to get his clothes from under the bunk bed, but he wasn’t the only one still there.

Dean had the butt of his toothbrush in his mouth and a cigarette behind his right ear. He was already fully dressed but putting on a flannel over his black shirt.

“Morning,” Dean said way too cheery. Castiel glared at him and didn’t return the greeting, which Dean didn’t seem to take to heart since he still smiled at him. _God_ his face was annoying.

Castiel was still standing in the same spot as Dean made his way to the door. He paused next to Castiel, looking at him while Castiel kept glaring. The seconds seemed to stretch into minutes and Castiel was about to turn away when Dean flicked a wet hair that hanged over Castiel’s forehead with a straight face.

He lost his glare for a look of confusion and Dean’s face broke into a wide grin.

The guy basically skipped down the steps and took his time walking towards the bathroom, whistling and playing an air guitar. He was so weird.

Castiel slowly changed, placing the dirty clothes into the basket that was under the window. The girls were setting up breakfast that week so he still had 30 minutes to spare before breakfast, which he spent standing in front of the lake as the sun made its climb higher and higher in the sky. The fresh air filled his lungs but it was still really cold out. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black sweater but the sleeves rolled up and the zipper down; it didn’t help keep him as warm.

Background noises like the guys fighting with the girls in the bathroom were what kept him anchored to earth. Otherwise he would fly far away from everyone and everything in this damn camp.

Castiel was snatched from his thoughts when a thin arm slipped under his again.

“Not thinking about jumping in are you?” Meg’s black curly hair was tied back in a ponytail, showing off her delicate features.

“Just thinking. Not about jumping in,” he turned his attention to the lake again, “but about other things.”

“About what?”

Castiel cleared his throat and folded his arms over his chest, trying to minimize contact.

“Aren’t you supposed to be setting up breakfast?”

“Not today,” Meg said, Castiel feeling grateful for the change of subject. “Counselor Zach wants us to meet by The Pit.”

Castiel turned and started walking back to the center of the camp with Meg right beside him. He’d put his hands in his pockets again but Meg didn’t hook their arms. Castiel didn’t know what was weirder: the fact that he _wanted_ Meg to hook their arms together, or that Counselor Zach was wearing very tight and small white shorts that, horribly, left very little to the imagination.

They weren’t standing in a circle like yesterday, instead standing in front of Counselor Zach in a tight cluster.

As soon as they’d reached the group, Meg had made her way to the other’s side of the group. Castiel tried not to take it personally.

“Alright, everybody listen up.” Conversations died out as everyone turned their attention towards him. “Last night, you all decided to get rowdy, started hollering and making my job just that much harder. I will not have that in my camp.”

“I thought this was Mr. Smith’s camp,” somebody from the back yelled. Counselor Zach didn’t miss a beat before throwing a twig at the guy, bouncing it on his forehead.

“Thanks to smartass back there, breakfast will be cancelled.” The girls grumbled in frustration but all the guys started yelling insults in the guy’s direction, some smacking him hard on the head. Castiel was surprised at how much they actually believed that it was the guy’s fault that breakfast was cancelled.

Everyone had broken out in conversation and no amount of yelling could get their attentions back.

He was tired of everyone acting like damn children. Castiel had been warned beforehand of what he’d encounter when he came to Black Water Camp but that didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised at how much he disliked everyone.

Castiel was the only one not participating in the further construction of chaos. Or, at least, he _thought_ he was the only one.

He turned his focus on a shape that was leaning against the Big House, one ankle crossed over the other. It didn’t take long to recognize the red flannel shirt and that smug smile again.

Dean was eating an apple and watching the group from afar, when he caught Castiel’s eyes. He should’ve turned away or at least blinked, but he held the other’s gaze. Dean took a slow bite from his apple, still staring right at Castiel, and took another bite. How did he make eating an apple seem so frustrating?

Castiel glared at him but Dean gave him a smirk, winking at him before taking another bite.

That’s when he broke eye contact and forced himself to look at the extremely tight white shorts, which were so much worse. Counselor Zach was yelling in an effort to get back their attention but everyone ignored him. Castiel couldn’t take looking at those scarring shorts any longer so he glanced over at Dean as the alternative.

However, he wasn’t leaning against the Big House anymore; the only trace of him even being there was an apple core where he used to stand.

Castiel’s eyes searched the woods around the House and the group around him but Dean had disappeared. That is, however, until a very loud crunch right next to his ear made him jump.

Dean had somehow manifested himself next to Castiel and was looking at him with a look of amusement. He was usually the calm person, somebody to ignore in a room full of people, yet Dean seemed intent on seeking Castiel out and pushing him over the border. He dreaded having to deal with him yet looked for him among the crowd.

He was still eating his apple, never once taking his eyes off of Castiel. Looking at him eating only reminded him of how hungry he really was, his stomach growling loudly. Castiel had wished that Dean hadn’t heard but of course he had, making Dean smile even wider.

Oh how he wished he could smack that smile off his face but his mind went blank when he saw Dean pull out another green apple from his pocket. It looked delicious, the sun making its surface shine beautifully. His stomach growled in approval but he wouldn’t take it, especially since Dean had laughed and pushed the apple closer to him.

Castiel looked at Dean again. He hadn’t taken his eyes away from him. Dean was an inch or two taller but his morning gruff made him look older. Castiel also didn’t trust the look of wonder and curiosity that had settled on his face.

Dean took a third bite as he threw the apple in the air, forcing Castiel to catch it. It was cool under his touch, the smooth surface sliding on his palms. He looked down at it uncertainly but Dean pushed the apple upwards until it reached his lips. Castiel met Dean’s eyes again and, simultaneously, they took bites from their apples.

Flavor exploded in his mouth and it was amazing how he could taste every molecule of the fruit. The hunger was making him stupid.

“Hey!” Counselor Zach yelled, only this time, not to the group. He was standing in front of Castiel, glaring down at him with his hands on his hips. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Castiel couldn’t answer, the piece of apple stuck to his throat. Counselor Zach outstretched his hand and he placed the fruit on the man’s hand guiltily.

“What’s your name?” The counselor growled.

“Castiel.”

“Castiel…?”

“Novak.”

“Well, Mr. Novak,” he said, low enough for Castiel to hear but he knew everyone was listening, “it seems you got yourself a nice and healthy breakfast here.”

“Yes, Sir.” It seemed to be the only thing he could say in this situation.

“Good, good, you need your vitamins.” He gave Castiel his apple back and turned to the group. “I’m sorry to say that the rest of you won’t be getting breakfast this morning.” Castiel got attacked the same way the other kid had but nobody smacked the back of his head. “However, Mr. Novak won’t be getting dinner this evening.” Now, the groups cheered their approval and some even clapped.

Castiel straightened his back indignantly and shoved his free hand into his pocket while the other held onto the apple. He’d been the only one to get yelled at though…

He looked over at Dean, whose lips were pierced in mock disappointment as he shook his head. Castiel really wanted to punch him in that smug face of his. There was no sign of his apple.

That had been the last straw. There’d been a chance, a tiny glimpse of hope, on Castiel actually being able to stand the guy, but that was long gone. Dean’s only purpose at Black Water Camp seemed to be to make Castiel’s life a living hell. It was already bad enough; he didn’t need a smartass, full of himself, pretty boy to go along with it too.

“Let’s get back on track now,” Counselor Zach said at the head of the group. “We’re gonna be getting a lot of sunshine this summer and those cabins are not ventilated, so it’s going to be pretty hot.” Some girls whispered to each other, expressing concern of their hairdos and make up. “Today, we’re going down to the Shack to fix some A/Cs that broke two summers ago.”

“Wait, what if we can’t fix them?”

“Then you don’t get an A/C.” An uproar rose from the group but Counselor Zach was blowing his whistle in seconds.

“There will be adults who will assist you but _you’ll_ be fixing them for the most part.”

He walked over to the adults that stood on the porch and left the teens to make the best out of a bad situation. Guys were already offering to help the girls with their task in exchange for sitting together during dinner and the bonfire.

“Want to be partners?” Dean asked, bumping their shoulders together.

“Leave me the hell alone.” Castiel wanted to walk away but he didn’t know where to and Meg was nowhere in sight.

“Oh come on, don’t be mad. It was a strategic move.” Castiel didn’t respond so Dean stepped into his line of vision. “Seriously dude, I’m sorry it went down like that but it had to be done.” He was making it look like he had done Castiel a favor.

“It HAD to be done?”

“You don’t like me and I get that, but you and I need to find a way to work together.”

This conversation was getting weirder and weirder with every word said.

“And why is that?”

“Trust me on this one.”

Castiel had every reason in the world not to trust the asshole, the top reason being that he hated him, yet he found himself considering the option.

“Look,” Dean stepped closer to Castiel, making them share the same air, “we don’t have to get along, and all we have to do is work together. Officer Mills brought you here and Officer Rufus brought me here and I have it on very good authority that if we behave they’ll let us out early.” He shuffled closer and whispered in their small space, “Now tell me that don’t sound like a good reason to work together.”

If it was not true, Castiel would’ve walked away and have found Meg, but he knew it was true. Jody had made sure Castiel knew that when he came.

“Fine,” he reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” Dean answered with a smile.

Everything seemed figured out and Castiel still didn’t like Dean, not by a long shot, but he didn’t move away from their tight space and neither did Dean. They didn’t talk or look anywhere else but each other, which gave him a great opportunity to notice just how many freckles the guy had. It would take weeks to count them all.

He was, thankfully, snapped back to reality when Counselor Zach whistled and motioned to follow him through the dirt path from yesterday.

What the hell had just happened?

Castiel caught up to the group and made up the rear, Dean keeping a reasonable distance this time.

“Can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal so if you don’t want to answer it’s cool.”

He could’ve pretended not to have heard or flat out said no.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Why did you set that barn yard on fire?” Castiel should’ve seen that coming.

“Things happen. They’re not always your fault and you can’t always stop them.” Morning breeze ruffled the leaves while sunlight littered the floor here and there. The heat scratched at his back as smoke filled his lungs. Then the screaming.

“Damn. We got ourselves our own Gandhi.”

Breathing as calmly as he could was a struggle and even though he was doing a good job, Dean still noticed.

“Sorry, should’ve guessed it was a touchy subject.”

“No, no it’s fine.” Weird enough, it was. “I’ve learned to live with it.” That was a fat lie.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, which was nice since that meant Castiel didn’t have to talk about everything that made him uncomfortable.

Once they had made it to the Shack, Counselor Zach explained how they would try to fix all the air conditioners and the first group to fix one would be excused from setting up breakfast and dinner whatever day they chose. In short, everyone was pretty excited.

Castiel picked a table that was on the corner of the room. He just couldn’t deal with all those loud and obnoxious teens. Dean had left and paired with the twins from last night and he was hurt a little but he wasn’t going to call after him either.

The air conditioner on his table was open in half, wires and switches sticking out and looking horribly like pasta.

He flipped through the toolbox that had been set on his table and got to work. After a while, the background noise became one huge jumble and he didn’t even have to think while he replaced or fixed faulty wiring.

“Need help with that?” Another air conditioner was dropped on his table accompanied by Dean’s smug smile.

“No,” Castiel said as he switched on his A/C, the machine humming and shooting out air, “I think I’m good.” Dean gave him an approving nod and switched off the A/C before pouring on glass of water into his and another into Castiel’s.

“Where you learn to fix crap like that?”

“I used to help around hotels for scrap money once upon a time.” He wasn’t lying, exactly, but he wasn’t saying the whole truth either.

“That might come in handy, but right now I need a favor from you.”

Castiel didn’t like the sound that. They might’ve been working together but he still didn’t like him.

“Come on,” Dean walked over to his side of the table and placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “I need about 30 minutes that you can easily give me _if_ you agree.”

Thousands of questions popped up in his mind that all seemed to revolve around the same subject.

“Why should I help you?”

Frustration flickered in Dean’s eyes and the corner of his jaw twitched. “You’re like the damn Riddler.” He closed his eyes and heaved out a heavy sigh. “Can you do this _one_ thing for me and not question it?”

For all he knew, Dean could’ve been setting him up like he had not even fifteen minutes ago. Why did he even _need_ 30 minutes? What the hell was he going to do?

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

Dean opened his eyes and frowned at Castiel. “You can set barn yards on fire, OF COURSE you can give me 30 minutes.”

Why the hell did he always bring that up?

“I’m not going to do anything against the rules.”

“I know you aren’t,” Dean said before patting him on the shoulder, “but I am.”

Castiel was about to protest but had no opportunity because at that moment Dean had raised both of his hands in the air and whistled at Counselor Zach.

He walked towards them with a scowl on his face as the rest of the group trailed behind him in curiosity.

“What is it Winchester?”

“Well Sir,” Dean said with his hands behind his back and the most exaggerated voice of seriousness, “it seems to me that Castiel already fixed two air conditioners.”

Wait, what?

Castiel turned his gaze to Dean, confusion obvious on his face. All Dean did was throw him a quick wink before returning to his all-business expression.

“Is that so?” Castiel was still looking at Dean with the same confusion when a heavy foot fell on his, making him wince in pain.

“Yes Sir,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Hmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Counselor Zach turned his attention to the air conditioners while everyone else circled around the table. Castiel looked among the heads for Dean but he was nowhere in the Shack.

“I knew I should’ve teamed up with you,” Meg whispered next to him. His eyes still scanned the crowd but there was no use; Dean was long gone. He finally looked down at Meg and, without thinking about it, grabbed her hand.

It was warm and soft and tiny. He half expected her to pull away and half expected her to wrap his arm around herself. She simply leaned closer to him and squeezed his hand.

Counselor Zach turned Dean’s A/C on first cautiously, people backing away from the table. It turned on with a quiet hum as air rushed out of the vent. He placed his hand in front of it to make sure the air was cool before nodding.

The group grunted and huffed in annoyance since they wouldn’t get their day off. He moved on to Castiel’s A/C and raised his eyebrows at Castiel.

“They both work,” he assured.

“Shut it,” Counselor Zach growled with a pointed finger.

He turned it on and, sure enough, cool air shot out of his vent too. People sucked their teeth in anger and someone yelled “Oh come on!” from the back.

Congratulations Novak,” he said as he switched off both air conditioners, “you just earned yourself a day off.”

“What?” Why was Castiel even questioning it, he didn’t even care if he got a day off or not.

“You heard me, you get a day off.”

“But I fixed two A/Cs; I should get _two_ days off.”

 Counselor Zach smiled in a way that made Castiel wish he’d just stayed quiet. “If I remember correctly, I said the first to finish would get a day off. You finished first so one day off. The amount of A/Cs you fixed doesn’t matter.”

He was about to walk away but Castiel couldn’t let it go and he still hadn’t given Dean his 30 minutes.

“That’s bull,” he said quietly, just loud enough for Counselor Zach to hear.

“Want to run that by me again?”

“I don’t think you want to,” Meg whispered with a squeeze to his hand. He didn’t want to but Dean needed his 30 minutes.

“I said that that’s bull,” Castiel practically yelled. Everyone had gone silent and watched the two of them glare at each other before Counselor Zach in a menacing voice.

“You might want to lower your voice son.”

Now he meant to yell. Now he was pissed. “I fixed two so I should get two days off. Nobody else has even fixed one and I already did half of their damn job. Not to mention I’m doing your job better than you.”

“Excuse me?”

Castiel was crossing the line and was about to get himself in trouble just to cover Dean’s ass but he couldn’t stop himself now. “These A/Cs should’ve been fixed as soon as they broke. But I guess that’s not your fault since your mind doesn’t expand to common sense.”

When there was an audible inhale of air, Castiel knew he’d done it.

Counselor Zach looked ready to explode, his whole face red and a vain popping out of his neck. Yup, Castiel was fucked.

 “Well, let’s look at the facts,” he said with a menacingly calm voice, “I’m not the moron who ran away and into the arms of a _cop_ and I’m definitely not the idiot who set a barn yard on fire and _stayed_ at the crime scene.”

He’d had enough of people mentioning the damn barn yard. They didn’t know what the fuck had happened there. Nobody knew.

“And I’m glad I’m not the one with a pea-sized brain who can’t seem to lay off the burgers.”

Castiel was barely able to finish his statement before he was pulled by the forearm towards the door by Counselor Zach’s very tight grip.

He was pushed outside and was barely able to regain his balance before falling on his face. Just as quickly he was pulled by the collar and fell on his ass on the hard ground.

“Stay,” the older man growled. Castiel didn’t want to push his luck so he did as he was told. Counselor Zach glared at him for a while before pulling out a walkie-talkie from God knows where and spoke into it. “Jody, come in Jody. Novak is causing a riot and since he’s your special case, come down here and cool him down.”

It took her a second to answer but through the walkie-talkie it just sounded like a lot of static.

They didn’t say anything to each other as they waited for Jody, Castiel looking at the ground and Counselor Zach undoubtedly glaring at him.

He was such an idiot. Why the hell had he helped Dean when he knew nothing of what he was going to do? It was his own damn fault too. Castiel had pushed it too much and it wasn’t just to cover Dean’s ass but just hearing that guy call him son was infuriating enough to make him loose it.

Nobody called him son or sport or any of those crap dads say to their kids and he wasn’t going to start letting people call him that now.

Jody walked towards them at a brisk pace and Counselor Zach headed back inside the Shack with a smirk.

“What the hell happed?”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look up and see those caring eyes filled with disappointment once again. Castiel shrugged in an attempt of looking like he didn’t care but it was eating him inside.

“Castiel, come on talk to me.” Jody sat next to him but didn’t put an arm around him like she usually would. She was getting tired of playing Castiel’s childish games and he hated making her a part of it. “What happened?”

When he tried to shrug again it only gave him a bitter taste in the back of his throat and his head hung even lower.

“I don’t know,” he finally mumbled.

“You promised me you were going to try, to at least-”

“I know what I said.” His voice was sharp with emotion. Of course he remembered the countless promises he made to Jody that he always ended up breaking.

“If you keep causing trouble they’ll send you to Juvy Castiel. You won’t be able to escape from there.” He didn’t respond but she took his silence as the answer to an unspoken question. “But I guess that would be a good thing. For once you’ll be able to stay in one place for more than a month.”

“If this is your idea of a pep talk, it’s not helping.”

“I’m not trying to sugar coat it for you Castiel. I want you to face the facts.” She stood up and brushed her pants, Castiel still looking down at the ground. “I’m going to talk to the Counselor and try to get you out of whatever mess you’re in. Don’t move.”

As soon as the door to the Shack had closed, he was already half way through the clearing. He was getting that same suffocating feeling of being trapped and he _needed_ to get out of there, he needed to run and not stop until all that was left behind.

He was about to step into the forest when Dean pushed him back forcefully.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“Get out of the way.” Castiel tried again to step into the woods but Dean pushed him back again. He reeked of smoke.

“Dude, what the fuck is the matter with you?”

“I have to go.” His throat was closing up and he could feel panic scratching inside his chest. “I-I have to leave.”

He was trying his hardest to push past Dean but he wouldn’t budge. Even though he was putting all of his strength into it, it seemed to be short from enough.

In one last desperate attempt to run, he pushed Dean away but he was quick on his feet, shoving Castiel onto his hands and knees.

Spots appeared in his vision as the dirt dug into his palms. Castiel couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and sweat was soaking his body.

 _I have to run_ , he thought, _I have to leave._

“Cas!” Dean scurried to his side and kneeled in front of him. Castiel clawed at his clothes, pulling on the red flannel shirt, and Dean smoothed his hand over Castiel’s, placing it over his chest. “Cas, look at me.” Each breath scrapped out of his lungs and it hurt like hell. “Look at me!”

Finally, Castiel met Dean’s eyes, same intense green eyes, but it still felt like the world was caving in around him.

“Cas, match my heart beat.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand reassuringly and pressed it harder against his chest. Castiel could feel it through the black shirt, steady and strong, unlike the rapid and crazy heart beat in his own chest.

“I-I can’t,” he said between breathes.

“Yes you can.” Dean placed his other hand on Castiel’s cheek to steady him. His eyes, those green gold eyes, were filled with worry, but his face was hard with determination. How was he so worried about a guy he’d just met? Over someone he could barely stand?

Everything was still falling apart but he tried to match their heart beats like he was told.

“Dean, I can’t.” He dropped his gaze but Dean lifted his face so their eyes met again.

“Breathe with me.” His chest hurt from the lack of oxygen. “Come on Cas, breathe with me!”

Slowly, with his hand still on Dean’s chest, he tried to match the inhales and exhales that he desperately needed. Dean’s hard gaze kept him steady, anchored, able to regain control.

 _Breathe in_ , 1, 2, 3, 4. _Breathe out,_ 1, 2, 3, 4. _Breathe in,_ 1, 2, 3, 4. _Breathe out,_ 1, 2, 3, 4.

They did that for about two minutes, Dean still caressing Castiel’s cheek. Eventually, their heart beats were in sync and the entire world wasn’t shaking around him.

“Better?” There was so much concern in his eyes that Castiel felt ashamed and guilty. Another person who would worry about him having his attacks every hour.

“Yeah.”

Castiel could breathe on his own and he knew that Dean knew that, but he didn’t remove his hand from Dean’s chest and he didn’t drop his hand from Castiel’s face.

For now, it was a good anchor.

“Let me help you.” Dean helped him up and placed his hand on Castiel’s back as they walked back to the Shack together.

He should say something, anything, to stop the growing guilt in the pit of his stomach.

Castiel sat down where he had before and Dean sat on his left, closer to the door.

“You should go inside,” Castiel said to the ground, “or you’ll get in trouble too.”

“What, so you can make a run for it again? I’m not leaving you here alone.” The determination in his voice made it hard for Castiel to argue against him.

“Dean, you’ll just get in trouble.”

“Then both of us will deal with the consequences.”

“Dean-”

“Cas.” Dean was looking at the trees, arms resting on his knees and head resting against the wall. His posture was so relaxed but Castiel knew that he was getting irritated again.

Their shoulder brushed together as they patiently waited for Jody to return. Neither said a word, which was good since Castiel was still trying to calm himself. That itchy feeling of running and wanting to disappear into the trees played all over his limbs.

It felt like a lifetime until Jody finally returned outside. At first, she was surprised at seeing Dean there too but she quickly replaced the look with a blank expression.

“Dean, please go back inside.”

He didn’t immediately stand up, instead looked at Castiel and lightly bumped his shoulder. Castiel nodded once and only met his eyes for a second. As Dean stood, he patted Castiel’s shoulder, squeezing it before entering the Shack.

His eyes were trained on the door, wanting to believe Dean would come out again. Of course, he didn’t.

When his eyes finally found their way to Jody, she was looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged and stood up.

“What’d he say?”

“Well, I talked him out of throwing you off the highest mountain here. You will, however, be working with him all day tomorrow.”

Castiel nodded with heavy agreement. Honestly, he expected more but hanging out with Counselor Zach was punishment enough.

“Go back inside, he’s starting another project.” He was about to turn when he felt Jody’s hand land on his shoulder. “Castiel…” She was looking for words she knew were there but she didn’t want to pick up.

“I didn’t make a run for it Jody,” he assured. She let out s heavy sigh before smiling at him. He wanted to return the smile but it felt weird on his lips, out of place, and reentered into the Shack.

Castiel still wanted to run, patting the square of the map on his back pocket, but he was willing to give it until the end of the day to make his choice.

** Saturday, June 6th **

Sneaking out of the cafeteria was easier than he had expected it to be. It wasn’t even sneaking out; Dean just got two plates of very stiff macaroni and cheese and walked out the door without anybody noticing.

It was already dark outside, some stars peeking from the black blanket the sky had become but his eyes were able to adjust easily. He walked over to his cabin but instead of going through the front door he made his way to the back, hiding himself from the open space of The Pit.

Through the window, he could see Cas hunched over his duffel bag, stuffing crap in and rearranging things in it. Dean didn’t have to wonder for too long what he was doing, the memory of the guy’s urgency to leave flashing through his mind.

He placed the second plate on his other hand, balancing it before tapping the window.

Cas nearly jumped out of his skin. It took him a second but he walked over and opened it, a scowl already placed on his features.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, what do you think Rapunzel?” Dean lifted the plate of macaroni and placed it on the ledge. Cas looked at it skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Dean. “I didn’t poison it,” he said, annoyed.

“I never said you did,” Cas answered but didn’t pick up the plate.

Dean rolled his eyes, placing his own plate next to Cas’.

“What are you doing here?” He still looked confused and Dean was getting irritated with all the damn questions.

“Can’t you see the food?”

“Yes, I can. But why did you bring it?”

“As a peace offering.” The confusion was immediately replaced with suspicion. Cas squinted his eyes and very slowly began to back away from the window. “Wait.” He placed his hands on the ledge and stood on his tip toes to rest his chin in between his hands.

Cas was a couple of feet away, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Dean, what do you want?”

He was wearing a white T-shirt with black jeans, his hair a black mess. His piercing blue eyes were discouraging and Cas, as a whole, was an intimidating guy.

“I want to show you something.”

Cas rolled his eyes and walked over to his bag again. Dean’s chin hurt and his feet were getting cramped from standing on his tip toes for so long. He walked back to the front of the cabin and entered, Cas not even bothering to look up. He was arranging all his clothes inside, and Dean’s suspicion grew.

“Come on Cas,” his eyes were still on the bag, “it’s better than staying here all night.” Cas faltered, his hands hovering over the clothes. Cas looked up at him and Dean put on a charming smile. “It’s gonna be fun, Scouts honor.”

He glared at Dean for a few heat beats, but eventually he turned away. Dean was pretty sure he saw him smiling. His own smile spread across his lips, little tingles spreading throughout his chest. Dean had to keep this under control. He already had a date with the twins, no need for other distractions.

Dean waited for Cas to decide, his smile only growing wider when Cas stood up while shaking his head.

“Fine, I’ll go with you.”

“I knew you would.” He clapped his hands once and walked over to the window. The plates clattered together and they scratched against the wood as he slid them under the bunk bed to left of the window. Cas gave him a quizzical look which he quickly dismissed. “Gabriel can deal with it. Okay, we have to hurry because I have to be back for the campfire. We don’t want the twins to worry, now do we?”

Once again, Cas rolled his eyes and pushed the duffel under the bed. Dean took his silence as a signal and in one move, he had pushed his legs through the open window and his feet landed on the ground with a loud thud. He began to walk to the small road on the edge of the lake and when he looked back, the cabin lights were turned off, Cas walking over from the front of the cabin.

“You’re no fun,” he commented. Cas’ jaw twitched and Dean decided it’d be best not to push it.

They walked along the edge for a while in complete silence. It was a warm night, crickets and distant owls could be heard as the moon lit up the lake’s dark surface. Cas didn’t ask where they were going or say anything at all.

“So,” Dean broke the silence between them, “I have a question for you, if you’re up for it.”

He didn’t answer. Dean looked over at him and that same tingling feeling spread throughout his chest again.

Cas’ hands were in his pockets and with the help of moonlight his white shirt became almost transparent. His head was hung and he was looking down at the ground, Dean unable to see his eyes because of the shadow his messy hair created on his face. It seemed like he wouldn’t answer but then he raised his head and looked dead ahead, his face almost glowing with the reflection of the lake.

“If it’s about the barn-”

“It’s something else that I’ve been curious about.”

“Then sure, go ahead.” Before he asked, Dean turned left and walked through the dense woods, the small path that he had created earlier still barely visible. It was a narrow path, forcing Cas to walk behind Dean.

“Do you even sleep?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last night you left at two and came back right before they came to wake us up. You hardly slept or didn’t at all. What’s up with that?”

It took Cas a second to respond. “Why were _you_ still up?” He sounded annoyed. When _didn’t_ he sound annoyed?

“What?”

“If you were still up to notice I didn’t come back to the cabin the whole night, I’m just wondering why you didn’t go back to sleep.” Dean didn’t like where the conversation had steered itself to. “Oh right, the nightmare.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.” Why had he brought him along?

“Alright then… why didn’t you go back to sleep then?”

“… Shut up.”

He led the way and again the darkness surrounded them, nature the only sound around them. Cas was an asshole disguised as a nice person and Dean was getting tired of the stick up his uptight ass.

“So where are we going?”

“Somewhere,” Dean answered, irritation clear in his voice.

“Shouldn’t you at least tell me where?”

“You ask a lot of fucking questions, you know that right?”

“I’m just trying to understand why you brought me along.”

“Believe me, I’m asking myself the same thing.”

“You’re mad.”

“No,” Dean turned to face Cas who was slow to stop and was inches from Dean’s face, “I’m trying to soak in the pleasure I get from hanging out with you since you’re such a delight at this time of night.”

Cas glared at him and with the lack of light, his pupils seemed to be blown up.

“Where are we going?” He almost growled.

“I don’t know,” Dean answered, a forced smile pressing his cheeks.

“Where. Are. We. Going.”

They could’ve kept at it all night but he was getting tired of Cas and the campfire would start in about 15 minutes so they had to hurry.

“Come on.”

It took them about three minutes to get to the fence that boarded around the camp. With every passing second the darkness only grew and the wind had begun to pick up.

“It’s about half a mile that way,” Dean said, pointing towards the seven feet fence.

“It’s outside the borderline?”

“What, you’re scared?” When Dean turned to look at Cas, he was surprised to see the way the guy was fidgeting. His eyes danced as he looked at the length of the fence and he bit at the inside of his lip. “Oh God, you ARE scared?”

“I’m not going over that fence.”

“Why the hell not?” In the morning, Cas was all in for leaving this camp and not looking back. Now he was shitting himself just looking at the damn thing.

“Because that would be breaking about five rules in one night AND you wouldn’t make it back in time to see the twins.” Cas wasn’t fidgeting anymore, instead glaring at Dean. By this point he was used to it.

“You know what? You’re right. Let’s go back to camp and sleep our,” he looked down at his watch, flashing the flashlight on it, “eight hours we have left. Since we’re _such_ goody two shoes.”

“I’m not going over that fence,” Cas said calmly. He had folded his arms and was looking at Dean with a blank expression. Even so, Dean could see his hands shaking.

“You already said that.” Cas didn’t move and Dean was done playing games. “Fine, stay here and _I’ll_ go.” He turned on his heel and walked over to the fence.

Dean had already started climbing it when he heard Cas hiss ‘dammit’ and pretty soon they were both climbing the fence and walking away from the camp.

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

“Creepy, right?”

“It’s a grave.”

“Pointing out the obvious but, yeah, it’s a grave. I found it yesterday and I thought it was kind of cool.”

“So you brought me?”

“God, you make everything a damn test.”

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t see anything cool about a grave inside a cave that looks like it’s been here since the creation of time.”

“Fine, _cool_ was the wrong word for it. It’s… interesting.”

They were standing in front of a small grave inside of a cave that had been carved to the side of the mountain. The flashlight was hitting the metal cross, bouncing back to hit their eyes.

“We were fixing crap yesterday AND today.”

“Your contribution this morning was very helpful.” He smirked when Cas hit him on the forearm. “Besides, they say they watch us like hawks but the only reason we haven’t died yet is because they’re getting paid.”

“I guess I can _kind_ of see why this is cool.” Cas folded his arms and their eyes met in the semi darkness. “Overall though, this grave will haunt me for life.”

Dean huffed out a laugh and Cas suppressed a smile. Dean turned his attention back to the grave, slipping his hand onto the leather jacket’s pocket and fingering the cigarette carton.

“You are _very_ interesting.” Dean had barely whispered it but it echoed on the walls and made it louder.

“What?”

“I mean, in an interesting kind of way.”

“I’m interesting in an _interesting_ way?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t.”

Dean rolled his eyes and turned to face Cas, that same raised eyebrow greeting him. “Last night, you went running and were gone for four hours and I _doubt_ you were running the whole time.”

“Then you don’t know me.”

“You’re a flight risk,” Dean continued, “yet when I said we were going over the fence, you seemed scared shitless.”

“All this time,” Cas began as his eyes met Dean’s again, “you’ve been staring daggers at all the guys who even breathe in your direction.”

That threw him off. “What’s your point?”

“We both have our issues.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“Then let’s keep it that way, OUR issues.”

That he could understand, so he let the subject drop and they went back to staring at the small grave. He glanced down at his watch again. _Seven minutes…_

“Who do you think was buried here? ‘Cause I asked around, make it seem like I was curious about my safety or whatever, and they said they had no recorded deaths in these woods.”

“We could dig it up and see what it is.”

Dean’s head snapped to look at Cas, shock and amazement spreading over him. “Dude, are you serious?”

“Of course I’m not.” That same look of annoyance had settled on his features. “There probably was a psycho here a long time ago who killed someone and buried the body.”

“I _seriously_ doubt that the psycho would’ve put a cross to mark the grave.”

“Someone could’ve found the body and instead of calling authorities, they just marked the grave for the next person to find it.”

The story was morbid and scary as hell and it honestly surprised Dean to hear that crap from Cas.

“I don’t even know why we have a flashlight when you’re all the ray of sunshine we need.”

Cas did another suppressed smile and turned his gaze to the grave. Dean was still looking at him when Cas saw his expression go black, maybe even thoughtful.

“Never mind, I take it back.”

“Your horror story?”

“No, when I said this was cool. It’s only sad.”

Just as soon as he had spoken, Cas had turned and had begun to walk towards the open end of the cave. Dean spared the small grave one last glance before following. Cas seemed to remember from where they had come from and was leading the way back, not even second guessing as much as Dean had.

At some point, they had begun to walk side by side, his brown leather jacket brushing against Cas’ arm.

“Do you do this often?” Cas asked as his eyes found Dean’s.

“You mean sneak outside the fence?”

“Yeah.”

“Due to the fact that we’ve only been here two nights, no not really.”

“You know what I mean.” And, for the first time since they had arrived at camp, Dean saw Cas smile. He returned the smile, same tingly feeling passing through his nerves.

“I’m pretty good shoplifter. I _have_ had some close calls in the past but I got too cocky, until they finally caught me and sent me here.”

Cas nodded and turned his gaze towards the woods around them.

“I hope you realize that bringing me food to the cabin didn’t make us even.” The flashlight bobbed over fallen twigs and over tree trunks, steered away from his smiling face.

“What about when I showed you the grave?”

“Remind me to send you the ‘Thank You’ card.”

And Dean laughed. A genuine laugh escaped his chest and Cas seemed confused for a second, his blue eyes searching Dean’s face.

“You’re funny,” Dean said after he had stopped laughing, a lingering smile pressed to his lips.

“You sound surprised.”

“Cas, let’s be honest here, you’re not exactly one of the three Stooges.” When Cas hadn’t answered Dean glanced over at him, not at all surprised by the growing confusion on the guy’s face. “Never mind. It’s just shocking to see you crack a joke when you don’t even crack a smile.”

“I only find certain things funny.”

“That’s the thing, _my_ jokes are funny to anyone who hears them.”

“Not when they infer me getting down on my knees.”

“That was shameless flirting.”

Dean had only _half_ meant that but when Cas took his time to respond, he _did_ get a bit nervous, which was unusual for him in this sort of situation.

“Maybe that’s why I didn’t find it funny or even knew you were flirting.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t flirt with people I don’t like.” That stung.

“You don’t like me?”

“I told you that you have a desire to be liked.”

Dean _could_ admit that even he could hear the hurt in his voice but that little comment was unasked for. “And there’s the asshole from yesterday.”

“I’m sorry if my honesty-”

“Bullshit.” Dean stepped in front of Cas. Once again their faces mere inches away. This time it wasn’t that pleasant. “See, I know the difference between honesty and just plain douche baggery. Even you, all serious and a moron at normal human interactions, would know the difference with the two.”

“I AM being honest,” Cas bit back.

“You’re being an asshole.”

“Dean, all you ever do is pick fights with people. I think that maybe it has to do with trying to prove yourself to people, more with it being how you push away everyone around you.”

“And what about you, huh?” He was getting pissed off and Cas was glaring at Dean like _he_ was at fault. “Setting barn yards on fire? What the fuck is that about?”

Cas’ nostrils flared as his scowl became deeper. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Right now, you’re insisting that _I_ push people away. Well, I’m trying here, I’m trying to make nice and you’re being the little bitch who won’t let me.”

Triumph washed over him when Cas looked down at the ground. Cas had stuffed his hands in his pockets again and Dean felt bad; it was getting chilly and Cas had no jacket. Awkward silence hung between the two until it had begun to get unbearable.

“So you _were_ shamelessly flirting with me?” He sounded like a kid and a smile spread across Dean’s lips.

“Yeah I was, but this,” he motioned at Cas’ frown, “is kind of a turn off.”

Cas let his head drop again and in a voice barely audible murmured, “I thought you were making fun of me.”

“Now, why would I do?”

“Everybody else does.”

“Well, I won’t.” Cas raised his head a bit, big round eyes taking his breath away. “And this,” Dean’s index finger slowly and carefully traced Cas’ cheekbone, making the other guy squirm, “is why I invited you. Even in the semi darkness I can see how much you’re fucking blushing.”

Dean’s hand dropped to his side. Cas looked even more confused and Dean could feel the rising heat on his neck.

“I don’t even smile.”

“Even with a straight face, it’s pretty easy to tell whether you’re mad or angry.

“You don’t even know me.” Cas was trying to push him away, but tonight he would learn just how stubborn Dean could be.

“I know you like to set barn yards on fire. That’s enough information to know you’re pretty fucking badass.”

The second smile of the night made its appearance and this undeniable need overwhelmed Dean. He didn’t care what he had to do; he had to make that smile a permanent thing for Cas.

They shared that close space for a few more seconds and just when Dean thought, _maybe…_ , Cas looked around them and pushed past him.

“I don’t blush,” Cas said as he walked down the dirt path.

“No, of course not. You’re just a damn chameleon.”

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

By the time they’d gotten back to camp, everyone was gathered around The Pit and laughing loudly. Dean didn’t mind as much as he thought he would be. They sneaked over the edge of the lake to not be seen until they were out of sight.

“Thank you,” Cas said to the black water.

“Any time.”

He didn’t say anything as Cas walked over to the window of the cabin. That’s when Dean remembered the duffel.

“Cas.” It wasn’t too loud but Cas still heard. “Tomorrow, when you’re working with Zach… maybe I’ll stop by.” Dean couldn’t let Cas dip without him being able to do something. Not yet at least. “You know, since tomorrow you WILL be working with Zach.”

He didn’t smile, which sucked, but he nodded and opened the window. “That’ll be nice.”

Dean walked to The Pit in the middle of the campfire song. The twins were dutifully waiting for him and had even reserved him a spot on their log. The marshmallows were delicious and the ‘scary’ stories people said ended up making everyone laugh.

A thousand different things were happening around him but, for some reason, his eyes were glued to the cabin, waiting for the lights to turn on.

They didn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

** Friday, May 1st **

His coffee was still searing hot but Dean drank it anyway. He was sitting at the edge of the couch, looking down at his hands and the cup of coffee, doing anything to avoid Pamela’s eyes.

“How was this week?” It was such a generic question that couldn’t be answered with just  _one_ answer.

“It was fine.” Dean couldn’t,  _wouldn’t_ , look at her. “This week was… fine.”

“I heard you made the best wooden statue in workshop.” She sounded hopeful. “And you’ve been participating more in class?”

“Seems about right.” Dean knew exactly where this was going.

“It seems like you’re doing better.”

“Seems like it.”

But he wasn’t. He was still fucked up and couldn’t get mad without punching the living shit out of something. On Thursday, Bobby had sent him early when Dean had worked his hours at the auto shop. He refused to leave until he finished his shift but Bobby had kicked him out, an hour and a half until he was done. His dad had been passed out on the couch and had left the stove on. Not to mention, Gordon had started talking about Dean’s mother during lunch. Crappy event after crappy event and he was tired, but when he went to his room, all his clothes had been thrown on the floor. When he checked his drawer, his ‘secret’ money was gone. Most likely his dad looking for beer money.

Dean was fuming and his vision was tunneling. He could barely breathe, anger completely taking over him. His knuckles were bloody and suddenly there was a hole on the wall of his bedroom. His fist was shaking and aching to punch something else. Dean was breathing hard and he could barely see Sam standing in the doorway.

The look on his little brother’s face was something Dean would never forgive himself for.

Pamela hadn’t written anything on her little clipboard but that was only a matter of time.

“Rumor has it that you’re dating Melanie.”

He let out a dry laugh with absolutely no humor. “I don’t  _date_.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” his glare focused on her brown eyes, “that I don’t have relationships and I don’t  _do_ the whole ‘oh my god you’re the love of my life fucking marry me.’ Melanie knows what it’s about.” He looked down at the cup in between his hands and could hear Pamela’s pencil scratching the paper.

“But don’t you want that? The intimacy? The contact?”

“I get all the damn intimacy and contact I want without the touchy-feeling crap.”

“No, I mean having an actual conversation with someone fully clothed and simply enjoying each other’s company.”

“And talk about what?” Dean left his cup on the coffee table in between them and clasped his hands dramatically. “Talk about our feelings and what we want to be when we grow up? I don’t DO that! Sooner or later I’ll get angry at her and I’m gonna feel like crap but I won’t be able to do shit about it because she’ll be long gone and unwilling to hear me out.” Dean hated to hear the emotion in his voice, but that damn wall had been knocked down and there was no way to stop it. “Sam has dealt with me only because he’s my brother. Even then he’s not supposed to see me like that.”

“Like what?” Pamela calmly asked.

“When I go batshit crazy!” Dean threw his hands up and leaned back on the couch. His feet rose off the ground. “Seeing my dad act like that is enough but to have to deal with me too isn’t fair to him.” His hands were shaking and his voice cracked. “To bring someone into my life, believing that they could fix me is a fucked up move. I would  _never_  do that.” He finally looked down, his watery eyes blurring his vision. “I don’t  _do_ relationships.”

A tear slid down his cheek and he immediately wiped it away. Dean was crying like a damn bitch and his feet hanged an inch over the ground. He wasn’t going to cry to a fucking school counselor and whine about his fucking problems, that wasn’t him. “The only reason I’ve been participating in class is because  _you_ told my teachers to on me more.”

“Because I know you are capable of answering questions in class.” Dean huffed out a dry laugh. “You keep putting yourself in these situations where you’re prone to get in trouble. Dean,” she leaned forward and Dean mimicked her movement, “you’re not  _just_  an angry person who can’t handle his temper, you’re a student who has SO much potential that’s wasting it away.”

“Bullshit.” Dean planted his feet on the ground and placed his elbows on his knees. He wasn’t angry, surprisingly; he was just tired of hearing the same thing from Sam. “I’m not wasting my potential, I’m passing workshop with 110% and to me that’s not wasting anything. I’m not the brightest kid in Calculus and I’m immediately labeled as stupid when there’s so much other crap I’m good at.”

“I’m glad you see it that way, I really am, but you’re not labeled as stupid.”

“But that’s the thing, I am. Then I’m sent to counseling because I have a bad mood. I’m a teenager! Teenagers have a bad day every once in a while.” He straightened his back with a smirk. Maybe they’ll get him out of counseling.

“That’s true,” Pamela said as she rested her pen on her clipboard, “but other students are not sent to me because the teachers express concern for the safety of the student and/or others around him.”

“Technicalities.” Dean had picked up his coffee again and took a careful sip from it. The clock on the wall read the time 12:32. Only eight more minutes, eight more minutes and then he was out of there. His next class was Spanish so there was no use even showing up. “All I’m saying is that it’s not fair how I’m thrown to the side because of my grades and my ‘temper’,” he said the last word with quotation marks since he’d heard it so often to describe his behavior.

Pamela hadn’t answered or written anything down and Dean smiled over the rim of his cup as he glanced at the clock again.  _Six more minutes…_

“Is that really what you think?” Pamela was concerned and that was annoying. “That you’re being thrown away?”

“I could give you a work cited page with all my evidence.” Dean wanted to leave already but the clock was taking too damn long to change.

“So, because of the labels you have, people are pushing you away?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“Is that why you don’t do relationships?” The rim of his cup touched his lower lip but the coffee didn’t touch his tongue. “Is that why you reject those who want to get closer to you? So they don’t have a chance to reject you?” It was that boiling feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him put the cup down and ball up his fists. He wasn’t angry, just curious on where the conversation was going. “Is that what you’re afraid of?”

Dean glared at her but was unable to respond, that boiling feeling still in his gut. “Session dismissed.” He was out before she got a word out.

** Day #3 **

He had made sure he returned to the campsite at 5:30 so he could take a shower before being woken up by Counselor Zach. Castiel’s legs burned and his body was straining from the lack of sleep but even in his best days he couldn’t get more than two hours. Before heading to the showers, Castiel grabbed a change of clothes from his bag as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to wake up any of the guys, especially Dean.

When he had arrived at the communal bathrooms, he didn’t hear the shower until he was inside. Steam rose from the last stall, a voice echoing across the room. It was a guy, and he was singing passionately. It took too long for Castiel to realize who it was before the guy had stepped out of the stall naked and soaking wet.

“Oh my god.”

Of course,  _of course,_ it would be Dean who stepped out of the shower naked and singing. Castiel hooded his eyes and stared down at the ground, feeling the rising heat on his cheeks.

“Shit Cas!” He could hear wet feet walking over the tiles but, thank God, they weren’t coming any closer.

“What are you doing?” Castiel’s cheeks were burning red no doubt and he was still awkwardly standing in front of the closed door.  _Three stalls are in front of me, separating me and the stall Dean just came out of. To my left is a little corridor which leads to the toilets on the other half of the small building. The sinks are lined up on the right wall in front of the four showers._ He was desperately trying to focus on everything around him but the ruffling a couple feet across from him was too distracting.

“I was skydiving, what does it look like?” Castiel was still shielding his eyes and intently looking down at the ground.

Castiel should’ve moved and left or done ANYTHING besides stand there like an idiot.

“You can look now.” Dean sounded annoyed and he wasn’t shuffling as much anymore. Castiel didn’t trust anything right now so he opted for peeking through his fingers. His naked back was still covered in beads of water but luckily he was wearing jeans that hung a little too low, his boxers barely visible.

“Uh,” the air was getting stuffy and when Dean started to turn around, Castiel couldn’t take it anymore, “I’ll just go.”

“Cas wait.” The door was half way out and against his better judgment, he waited. “I’m already done; you can take your shower.”

“No, its fine, I don’t think I need one today.”

“Cas.”

He took a deep breathe, trying to make the red on his cheeks disappear, before he turned to face Dean. Even though he was looking at his green eyes Castiel could see all the creases on Dean’s chest. He could basically count every water bead that slowly slid down. If it was possible, his face had gotten even redder since he’d walked in.

“What?”

Dean was playing with the black shirt in his hands but hadn’t put it on yet. Why wouldn’t he put it on? “Take a shower before Zach goes looking for you.”

“I’m fine I’ll take one during the bonfire.”

“I can smell you all the way over here.” He gave Castiel a sly smile and began yo walk towards him. His footsteps echoed and Castiel was frozen to the spot. As much as he wanted Dean to side step around him or put his fucking shirt on, he did neither. “You don’t want to jump into the shower, that’s fine.” Dean was inches from his face but Castiel kept his eyes on the dirty tile floor. “But I  _do_ know something else you can jump on.”

His eyes shot up and he could feel his cheeks flush red. It was horrible but a part of him didn’t want it to stop. Dean was watching him, calculating Castiel’s every move and the feeling was unnerving. He tried to turn away but Dean caught his gaze, his green eyes hard with concentration. All the air had been sucked out of the room and was replaced with thick mud that was hard to breathe in.

But just as suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone. Dean gave Castiel a wide smile before patting his shoulder and walking out of the bathroom. When Castiel turned to watch him walk away, Dean had put on his shirt and was walking towards the cabin, whistling along with the birds that had begun to chirp.

Along with the sweat, Castiel tried to wash away the memory of those intense eyes focused on him.

He could feel it again, that itching need to run and never stop, making his muscles ache with the strain of keeping still. Castiel was already making too many ties for his like and on his second day he’d been close to leaving. It usually took him a month to even consider it. But he had to stick it out for the whole summer. He couldn’t take the look of disappointment from Jody when he showed up at her door, dirty and exhausted and starving. He couldn’t keep doing that forever.

The shower wasn’t as long as he would’ve liked but he knew Counselor Zach would go looking for him very soon and he didn’t want to get in trouble.

Halfway to the cabin, he was stopped by the grown man wearing middle-schoolers shorts.

“Well, what do we have here?” Counselor Zach was sporting a nasty smirk that could only mean trouble for Castiel.

“I went to the bathroom.”

“And got soaked by some rain since it’s such a cloudy morning.”

Castiel knew he was talking about his wet hair, but his mouth spoke before his brain could stop him. “It’s actually a really sunny morning. I don’t know where you got that it had rained.”

Counselor Zach’s face contorted and before Castiel could even think, he was being dragged closer and closer to The Pit. His forearm was pinched under a tight grasp that gave him no opportunity to free it.

“Sit.” His ass fell heavily on the log, the bark biting into his pants.

Counselor Zach had gone off to yell the rest of the guys awake but between every new insult that came from the man’s mouth, Castiel could hear Jody’s voice coming from the girl’s cabins. Jody wasn’t as aggressive as Zach, but she had the voice of authority that made the girls filter out of the cabins and walk towards the bathroom. Castiel sat up straighter when Jody walked by and gave her a sheepish smile, which Jody returned by ruffling his hair. The rest of the girls followed, not giving him a second glance. He found Meg among the group and tried to wave at her but thought it would look weird so it came as if he had swatted at a fly and then fixed his hair. Meg and two other girls laughed but she still gave him a small wave before walking away.

For the second time that morning, his cheeks flushed red. He was making too many acquaintances and getting too attached. He had to back away before it was too late.

“Get up.” He could hear laughing and loud conversations and for a brief second wondered which of the many voices belonged to Dean.

“Am I still working with you today, sir?”

“What do you think?” He would’ve answered but knew whatever came out of his mouth would be stupid enough to get him into even more trouble. “I have some documents that I’ve been waiting to organize into the camp’s files. Today, you’ll be filing them for me. Unless,” another nasty smirk carved his features, “you have a problem with doing my job for me?” He was trying to get a rise from Castiel, but he wasn’t going to argue today.

“Where will I work?”

“In the conference room of the Big House. It’s nice and empty and free of any distractions. When you’re done, come look for me so I can give you your next assignment.”

“How long will the filing take?”

“A couple of hours.”

Unceremoniously he was pushed towards the Big House and hoarded through hallways until they reached the back of the House. The room was dusty, obvious that a window hadn’t been opened in there in ages, and when Counselor Zach turned on the lights, they flickered in an attempt to turn off.

“Alright Novak, take a seat.”

Castiel walked towards the end of the long table where boxes were already stacked. The chair bit into his back, squeaking loudly and bending as if it would break. This room was a wreck.

“You will seat here, file the documents into the proper folders, and you will not give me more trouble, got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

Counselor Zach glared at him for a moment before finally leaving the room.

Castiel could’ve easily sneaked out of the House, a window placed on the wall to his right and facing the woods, but he had to be an adult. He started shuffling through the hundreds of papers and stacking them into piles. The time dragged on and the stacks grew, but there was no way of telling how much time had passed since the clock on the wall was broken.

He was already moving on to his third box when he heard the window slide open. It seemed as if it would break but miraculously it stayed on and Dean Winchester pushed himself into the room.

Relief washed over him as he stood up to help Dean through.

“What are you doing here?” Dean looked around the room, walking towards the boxes.

“Filing.”

“That’s fucking lame.”

“It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

Castiel pushed down on the window to close it, able to hear from a distance the laughing and splashing of water.

“What’s going on out there?”

“Oh, they gave us the day off. I guess Counselor Zach convinced the others to it.”

Of course. He sat back down, Dean having pulled up a chair to sit next to him, and started looking through the papers again.

 At first, they didn’t talk to each other, paper being shuffled the only sound in the room. Castiel would glance over at Dean every once in a while to see if he had fallen asleep yet. He had his chin propped up on his folded hands and watched Castiel’s hands as they moved over the paper. Dean was wearing a blue flannel shirt over his black shirt. It was as if his mood was reflected on his flannels.

Castiel kept shuffling the papers up until the point when Dean groaned in pain. Castiel ignored the first five but then it began to get annoying.

“Dean?” He groaned in response. “Why are you making that noise?”

“Because I’m bored out of my fucking mind.”

“It’s supposed to be boring because-”

“It’s supposed to be a punishment, yeah I got it.” Castiel kept shuffling the papers and thought that Dean had given up but then his chin was resting on Castiel’s forearm and he was groaning loudly again. “Come on Cas, let’s do something else.”

“Like what?” Castiel met Dean’s eyes. He winked at Castiel while giving his forearm a light peck. In an attempt to hide his flushing cheeks, Castiel glared at Dean and flicked his nose and kept shuffling the papers with his right hand. Dean’s chin was biting down on his arm, sending low throbs up to his shoulder. He didn’t move it though, aware of the peaceful serenity on Dean’s face. But the moment was soon over and Castiel’s arm was once again free.

“You seem too comfortable with stacking papers onto piles.” Dean had begun shuffling too and putting documents on different piles but since he didn’t know how Castiel was separating them, he was making a mess.

“For a while I got paid to do this.”

“Where at?” Dean was still putting papers on different piles so Castiel forgot about the other papers and instead put the papers on the right piles. Dean was still randomly stacking them.

“At a hotel.” He remembered that week, almost a year ago, remembered the look Jody had given him when she’d found him. It left him with a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Hey.” Dean snapped his fingers in front of Castiel’s face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He went back to organizing Dean’s papers, trying to ignore the side glances Dean was giving him.

“Alright weirdo. But I mean, no amount of money in the world could make me enjoy doing this.”

“I don’t enjoy it. It’s just something to pass the time.”

“I’ve been here for ten minutes and it feels like a life time.”

They went back to their quiet routine, stretching on for more time than what Castiel would’ve liked but he wasn’t complaining.

“Cas?” He lifted his gaze towards Dean but he was looking at the stack of papers in front of him.

“Yes?”

“I just…” Dean was trying to find his words but couldn’t quite grasp them. Castiel watched him fumble for a bit until they flew out in a rush. “I  _have_ to know why you set the barnyard on fire.”

He should’ve been frustrated, that’s what Dean was expecting, but he only sighed in exhaustion.

“I didn’t set it on fire,” already the screams were echoing inside his skull and the smoke was filling his lungs. “I was the only one left there when the police arrived.” He was expecting questions or a remark or something, but Dean let the silence fall between them again.

It didn’t matter what happened or how much time passed, someone would always ask about the fire. They always asked about the fire.

“Want to know why  _I’m_ here?”

“Not really.”

“I’m here,” Dean went on, “because I beat the shit out of a guy.”

The memory had soured his mood and Castiel would’ve loved nothing more than to go back to the silence, but Dean wasn’t going to stop trying to talk to him.

“Why did you get in a fight with him?”

“It wasn’t so much of a fight, more like me repeatedly punching him as he failed to protect himself.”

“Either way, why?”

“I couldn’t let Sammy get his hands dirty just because that douchbag was an idiot looking for trouble.”

“Sammy?” Castiel was grateful for the distraction and was beginning to get interested. Dean was a wild card just as much as Castiel was and he knew how hard it was to talk to anyone about anything remotely personal.

“Yeah, he’s my little brother.” It was in his voice, a pride and fondness that radiated from Dean in a smile. “He’s super smart and never steps out of line. He’s gonna be a freshman by August and he can’t have a record.”

“I’m not seeing what your brother has to do with the guy you hit.”

“He’d been picking on Sam for a while and Sam didn’t want me to know since I would obviously beat the shit out of the guy. Sam’s a small kid but I know he can protect himself. I just didn’t want it to come to that.”

When Castiel didn’t answer, Dean lifted his eyes to meet Castiel’s. It was there again, the feeling that he should do something to get rid of the space between them. Their shoulders brushed against each other and Castiel could smell the fading smoke from Dean’s clothes. He was still trying to decide what to do when Dean looked away, clearing his throat as he shifted in his seat.

“Sam sounds great.” Castiel had gone back to work, fixing the papers Dean put down.

“Yeah, he is.” Castiel was about to comment, talk to fill the silence, but a door down the hall had been closed and footsteps sounded as they walked closer to the room.

They both walked towards the window, together pushing it upwards.

“Even though stacking one paper over another bored me half to death, it was a pleasure.” He swung his leg over the ledge but didn’t leave. The footsteps were getting closer yet Dean didn’t leave.

“Dean-”

“Do you have siblings?”

“I don’t think this is the appropriate time for that.” Counselor Zach was fitting his key into the doorknob and yet Dean didn’t move.

“Come on, do you have siblings?”

“No.” Dean was about to say something else but the door had begun to open and in a moment of panic, pushed Dean off onto the bushes.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting some fresh air, sir.” Dean had begun to swear and in an attempt to get off the bush, he grabbed onto the ledge. Castiel pushed on his fingers, sending Dean to fall on top of the bush again with a new set of cuss words. He closed the window before Dean could make more noise, earning a raised eyebrow from Counselor Zach.

“Alright.” Castiel walked to his seat but didn’t sit. “Did you file all of the papers?”

He still had another box left but he doubted Counselor Zach actually cared. “Yeah, all done.”

“Okay, you’ve been here approximately four hours, so now you have the rest of the day off.”

“What, really?” Castiel had expected more work for himself.

“Jody said she has more work for you but for now, you have the day off.” Castiel didn’t want to stand around and argue so he gave an awkward bow before bolting from the room and Big House.

Behind the guy’s cabins, the group was enjoying the sunny day by the lake, most girls sunbathing while the guys played in the water. On normal circumstances, he would’ve turned and walked away but right now he was so tempted to jump into the water.

Castiel walked towards the lake and was met by Dean. “Hey, they let you go.”

“Yeah, he gave me the rest of the day off.”

“Awesome.” They slowly walked towards the lake, getting closer to the crowd and the noise. “Okay, you go on ahead and sit by the dock and I’ll get something to eat.”

Dean walked away and Castiel couldn’t seem to look away. He rolled his eyes at his form and began walking towards the dock. Dean was an asshole and had an aura of arrogance around him that was the most annoying thing ever yet Castiel actually  _enjoyed_ hanging out with him. His cockiness was annoying but Castiel still liked seeing it on Dean. Ugh, everything about Dean was confusing and irritating. He walked towards the dock, a little apart from the group. When he sat down, his shoes just barely touched the water and a slight breeze bit through his sweater.

Lunch was a few minutes away but his stomach still longed for breakfast. Castiel could’ve asked for breakfast, there must be a rule against not giving dinner or breakfast to kids, but complaining wasn’t going to help him, so he sat and waited. Eventually all the laughing and splashing of water faded, and Castiel could only hear nature. He could hear the woods behind him and could feel the slight breeze that moved around him. When he ran, he didn’t see the woods as anything but a safe haven, freedom, and, sadly, home.

His stomach growled again, its emptiness making his sides hurt. The lunch table had been finally set up and Castiel had begun to stand to walk over to it, but in a blink of an eye, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sat on his lap. It would’ve fallen into the lake but he swept it up in his hand and stared at it.

“No need to thank me.” Dean sat at his side, setting down two Cokes and his own sandwich. “Breakfast, after all, is the most important meal of the day.”

“Couldn’t you have given me this when it was still breakfast?” Castiel asked through a mouthful. Dean made decent sandwiches.

“A simple thank you would be nice.”

He scoffed as he took a sip from his soda to drink down the food in his mouth. “Thank you Dean, for this humble meal you have provided me with.”

“You are welcome my good sir.” Dean bit down into his own sandwich with a satisfied smile. “I  _did_ plan on taking you breakfast but on the way over I ate both.” It wasn’t hard to believe but the sentiment was still appreciated. “Why they let you out early again?”

“Counselor Zach said Jody had something planned for me. She’ll most likely just give me a speech and then force me to stay for a bonfire.”

“Wait, Jody?”

“Officer Mills.”

“Got it.”

They kept eating, the silence only lasting a minute before Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. Castiel looked over at Dean but he was doing everything he could to not look at Castiel.

“What is it?”

Dean’s eyes were trained to the water, his fingers fidgeting in uncertainty. He was trying hard to find his words but couldn’t seem to grasp them for long. For a second, Castiel tensed at the thought that Dean would ask him again about the barnyard but when Dean finally met Castiel’s eyes, he saw suspicion.

“Who is Jody to you? Is she your aunt, a cousin, your mom?”

The question caught him off guard but to think Jody and him were related was what made him laugh. Dean seemed unfazed, his hard gaze never leaving Castiel’s face.

“Jody and I aren’t related.” His smile lingered a while as he thought for an explanation that could summaries their relationship. “She’s…. a friend.” Castiel had always considered her to be more to him but didn’t have the word to describe it.

“Of your parents?”

That word always had a weird effect on him but Castiel had long since learned to live with it. “No, she’s just a friend.”

“How long have you known her?”

“What’s with all the questions?”

Dean turned to sit facing Castiel, his back now to the campsite. “You suck at lying.” He wanted to protest but Dean cut him off. “When you told me about the barnyard, I believed you. Then, I asked you if you had siblings and I could see that you were holding back, same with the story of working at a hotel.” Castiel stubbornly held onto Dean’s gaze, annoyance itching at him. “You’re giving me a lot of lies here and I’m not buying.”

“Well, I’m not selling.” Now he was mad. Who the hell did Dean think he was? “I don’t get why you need to know every detail about my life.”

“Oh, believe me, I don’t. I’m just trying to understand why you’re lying. There’s no need to hide so damn much from someone you’ll only know for two months.”

“There’s also no need to know so much about someone you’ll only know for two months.”

Castiel was already irritated and the smile that spread on Dean’s lips only irritated him further. Dean shifted again, letting his feet hang off the dock as he drank his soda. All the questions had pushed Castiel’s buttons and Dean was resting on his forearms with a peaceful smile, not a care in the world.

“Are you done interrogating me?” Castiel said, not even trying to hide his frustration.

“Just about.”

“Can I ask why you decided to be a complete pain on my ass?”

“But don’t you wish it was in instead?” He was still annoyingly smiling as if they were having a pleasant conversation. When he saw Castiel’s glare was still set on him, he rolled his eyes and sat up. “I wanted to see where the line was.”

“The line?”

“As in, where you agitated enough to run.” Dean wasn’t smiling anymore, only searching for the answers to his question on Castiel’s features. “Yesterday, you had a major panic attack that made you want to leave.”

“That’s for me to deal with.”

“It’s like a lion cage,” Dean went on. “To make sure the lion cage is secure you have to pull on the bars.”

“No you  _definitely_ don’t-”

“I’m an asshole.” Castiel couldn’t argue with that fact but he still wanted to know at what point Dean was trying to get at. “And this will definitely not be the last time, just so you know. But I want to know that no matter how hard I pull on the bars, everyone is still where they need to be.”

“You’re the one with anger issues, right?” Dean laughed and Castiel couldn’t help but join in. He was an asshole, yes, but Dean also knew how to not be a complete dick.

“I don’t go on 50 mile runs when I get mad though.”

Some guys were challenging each other to see who could swim out farther while some of the girls lay on the grass tanning. He couldn’t see Meg among the group but she was probably making some trouble for herself.  Castiel could still feel the cool breeze but the sun was beating down on them pretty down. Dean’s legs swung from the edge of the dock and he was on his back now, arms under his head and a small smile facing the cloudless sky. It was barely Sunday. Who would’ve guessed?

“It’s not just about the bars.” Dean opened one eye but didn’t say anything. “It’s not just about the lion cage and the bars and whatever else you want to compare it to. It’s about you learning not to be such an ass at times towards other people.”

Castiel looked at the one open eye and waited for Dean to say something but he just closed his eye and stayed silent. After a couple of minutes of pure silence, Castiel let his back drop to the wooden floor and stared up at the sky. He was extremely aware of the fact that Dean was laying right next to him, the guy’s elbow barely scrapping against his head. Castiel heard the quiet snicker that came from Dean but when he looked over at him, only a ghost of a smile was visible.

It might’ve been minutes or hours by the time they were brought back to reality.

“Hey guys, what are you two up to?” Jody had her arms crossed and was glaring down at them. He quickly stood up but Dean remained on the floor, not even bothering to open his eyes. “So?”

“We were just enjoying the day.” Jody raised an eyebrow at him that was enough to make him squirm.

She was glaring at him for an uncomfortable amount of time in which Dean had the time to stand up and dust himself off. He patted Castiel on the back rather harshly and walked over to where Jody was standing. Jody glared at him as he got closer and when he saluted her, she rolled her eyes so hard they could’ve flown off her head. She was still glaring at his back as he made his way closer to where the group was.

As soon as he had mingled with the crowd, Jody turned to Castiel with an incredulous eyebrow raise. All Castiel could do was shrug his shoulders.

“So you’re making friends?”

“I am.”

“That’s good.”

“It is.”

Jody gave him a big smile that was hard not to return. It wasn’t even forced this time, it was an actual smile that made him feel better and it kind of filled the empty pit in his stomach that was and would always be there.

Castiel walked to Jody and she threw an arm over his shoulders. She was chuckling and he couldn’t help but join her. It felt damn awesome making her smile like that because it meant Castiel hadn’t yet screwed up and she still thought of him as anything but a disappointment.

When they reached the group she did let go of him and she walked away but Castiel was fine by that. He quickly went inside the cabin to get his book and sat on a log that was closer to the group and the lake. They were noisy and made stupid jokes that had everyone cracking up but Castiel wasn’t as annoyed as he thought he’d be.

The counselors did end up coming for everyone a couple hours later and made them dress accordingly for the next job assignment which of course had everyone in a riot but, what were they expecting?

Castiel had long since forgotten the itching that had disappeared from his limbs. He was having a pretty good day.

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

** Sunday, June 7th **

Dean wasn’t heaving and groaning like almost everybody else but he WAS tired. He couldn’t have welcomed dinner any better. Unfortunately, he had taken his fucking time looking for Cas and now he was stuck at the end of the line tired, hungry, and slightly aggravated. And to make matters worse, he was stuck in front of two annoyingly loud guys trying to impress two other annoyingly loud girls.

He wasn’t so bothered by them as much, his focus purely on the table that had the food piled on top of it, but they were irritating. As an excuse to not focus on their idiotic conversation, Dean looked around the cafeteria in an attempt to spot Cas but he was nowhere in the room. After their dock meet up Dean hadn’t seen the guy all day. It wasn’t that he  _missed_ him or anything. Of course not.

“So I tell him, ‘Buddy, I didn’t  _hit_ on your girl,  _your_ girl hit on  _me_.’ Of course, he didn’t believe me and he threw a punch but he was on the ground before he could even blink.”

“That’s amazing.” Dean could tell that she was faking being impressed and the fact that the guy didn’t seem to know made him feel better.

“Yeah but I was able to talk myself out of trouble. The teacher was a girl and her hormones made her drool over me so she let me go with just a warning.” Dean meant to scoff as loudly as he possibly could, attracting the attention of the idiot talking. “Hey buddy, something funny?”

Dean turned as if surprised to be addressed. “No, nothing funny.” He turned around again with a smirk.

“Alright. So, as I was saying-”

“What I DO find odd though,” Dean turned back around to face the glare of the guy and the suppressed smiles of the girls, “is that you rave on and on about girls lusting over you when I clearly heard you state back at the warehouse that you haven’t gotten laid in months.”

It was a weak insult, he could do SO much better, but it got the reaction he had hoped for. The girls giggled quietly while the guy tried to puff up his small chest and look as threatening as possible. It was pathetic.

“You want to run that by me again buddy?”

Dean really wasn’t looking for a fight and especially when he was tired and hungry. “No, I don’t.” He turned around and hoped they would go back to their stupid conversation but Dean had gone overboard.

“Good because I wasn’t asking for your opinion.” He pushed on Dean’s back hard, shoving him into the people in front of him. They turned around with a glare but when they saw Dean’s face, they backed away and avoided eye contact.

Dean was really trying not to get in a fight, not to get in trouble, but FUCK THAT SHIT.

He turned around and tried not to immediately punch his lights out. “You want to do that again? _Buddy_?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Again, the guy pushed him hard but Dean barely budged. “Do you want one more for good measure?”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Cas was suddenly pushing Dean back and away from the idiot’s face that had become a punching bag.

“Cas, back up.”

“Funny, I was going to tell you the same.”

That’s when he got that fucking tunnel vision that made him see red and make his heart race. He wasn’t even focusing on the guy or the crowd already fucking gathering. He was solely glaring at Cas and his blood was boiling and it was all directed towards Cas.

“Cas, seriously back the fuck up.”

“I’m asking you to do the same here before you do something you’ll regret.”

Dean continues to breathe but there is a lot happening inside his head. His brain and his heart are pounding out at different rhythms; his hands are sweaty but at the same time cold and the back of his neck is hot; at this point his throat has gone dry. His anger issue had been used as a label for too long. One given to dangerous people. Dean knows this because he’d watched a lot of movies and had watched his father act on in for thirteen years but there was no label for his dad since he’d kill anyone who dared give him one.

But he can’t control it now no matter how much he wished he could. The guy is still trying to save his sorry ass with comments that make no sense and Dean is yelling over at him while Cas keeps pushing on his chest and away from the moron.

 “You’re a little pretty boy that has his ego so far up your ass that you can barely fucking  _walk_.”

“Fuck you poster child for abortions. And you,” he turned to Cas, “what the hell are you still doing near me?”

“Dean, you have to calm down.”

“I don’t have to do  _shit_ since I don’t listen to preppy pricks.” Dean was talking right out of his ass now.

Cas looked annoyed but he responded with an eye roll. “What,  _exactly,_  makes me preppy?”

“The stick you have shoved up your ass. Did your parents put it there?”

Dean knew what he was doing; he was pushing his boundaries. Cas was honest to God trying to prevent Dean from doing something bad that would end up getting him in Juvy. But he couldn’t think straight. Dean never could when he got in his blackout moods. He was pressing his luck and Cas didn’t deserve that.

“Did you run away from home because they gave you ONLY 14 birthday presents? Or because they cancelled your annual trip to Europe?”

He was being an idiot and his stupid insults were uncalled for and super fucking lame. Dean was glaring at Cas and Cas was glaring back but he could see it, Cas’ shinny blue eyes, and for the first time, he was able to push his anger aside and simply felt like a piece of utter shit.

Cas was glaring at him with pure anger in his eyes and even though Dean felt like crap, he glared at him too.

“Fuck you.” It was a low growl that sent chills down Dean’s back. “Go ahead, punch him, beat the shit out of him, do whatever the hell you want to do. Do it and get yourself in trouble, who gives a shit?”

“Apparently you do since you won’t get off my ass about it.”  _Seriously, what the FUCK?_

Cas smiled but it had absolutely no humor behind it. “Fuck you.” He turned and pushed through the crowd towards the exit. Everyone’s eyes were on him but he could only watch Cas walking away. The guy he had been yelling at was smirking at him but as soon as Dean focused his glare on him, he coward away. The crowd started to dissipate except for a ridiculously short girl that was shaking her head at him.

“You screwed up.”

“Do I fucking know you?”

“No, but I  _do_ know Cas and I  _do_ know that you screwed up big time.”

“Oh yeah, and why is that?”

She slowly walked closer to him and he was unreasonably frightened. “Because Einstein, Cas is a foster child and he has run away from his foster homes for 15 years.”

Dean knew he had screwed up but only now was light shown on how much he was a fucking asshole.

“Shit.”

He tried to walk towards the doors as slowly as he could but Dean basically ran from the cafeteria.  _Shit shit shit._ Dean tried not to panic when he saw the lights of his cabin on but he had begun to walk faster.  _Shit shit shit._ He heard the footsteps that were fast approaching but couldn’t exactly register it behind Cas’ voice, which was still echoing in his head.

“Dean, what happened?”  _Shit shit shit._ “Dean, what the hell happened?”  _Please still be there_. “You HAVE to talk to me right now, what the hell happened?” Dean was stopped short by Officer Mills. She was waiting for him to answer and so was he but he couldn’t think of a professional way to say, “I fucked up big time.”

“I-I…” Dean’s eyes were glued to the cabin even though Officer Mills was trying hard to meet his gaze. “I-I don’t know.”

“Like hell you don’t. I saw what happened in there and I’m wondering where the hell Castiel ran off to.”

“Believe me, that’s what want to know.”

Officer Mills let out a heavy sigh and walked towards the cabin, Dean right on her heels. He was still praying to whatever God was out there that Cas was still inside, pissed to hell but still there. When Officer Mills opened the door, Dean was more than scared. Cas was probably out of the camp by now. He most likely ran as fast as he could so no one could stop him.

“Damn it.” Officer Mills reached for her walkie-talkie and that’s when Dean was able to react like a proper human being.

“What, what are you doing?”

“I have to call it in.”

“Why do you have to do that?”

Dean was already having a crappy night; he REALLY could’ve gone without the eye roll and sigh of annoyance. “There’s a missing 17 year old boy lost in the woods, I HAVE to call it in.”

Every reaction Dean was getting was a delayed thought to something that had already happened and was in the process of becoming a bigger pile of shit. Only now was Dean actually freaking out so much that he was circling back to hopeful. Without thinking about it, he slapped the walkie-talkie away that Officer Mills had already begun to talk into.

“What the hell?”

“Give me thirty minutes to find him before you call it in.”

The eye roll from Officer Mills was almost as annoying as the furrowed eyebrow look Cas gave him except he could actually tolerate the eyebrows since they were kind of cute and Jody reminded him of his arrogant teachers. “Officer Mills, this is my fault and I  _really_ want to fix this.”

She hesitated for a while but eventually agreed to 30 minutes before being obligated to call it in.

Dean didn’t even know where to begin looking since he didn’t know where Cas would go so, in an attempt to be sentimental and lack of imagination, he headed towards the trail that would lead towards the cave they had gone to the day before. And, by dumb luck, after a couple of minutes of looking, he saw Cas walking through the woods.

“Cas!” He saw Cas fumble but he kept walking, faster than before. “Cas, stop!” Dean ran after him but the trail was narrow and didn’t allow him to walk next to Cas. “Cas, please, can you stop?” He kept walking and Dean tried not to be annoyed. “Cas, stop!”

He finally did and when he turned around, he had eyes that burned right through Dean.

“What the  _hell_ could you want now?” Dean was a little out of breath and had no idea where to begin to apologize. Saying sorry seemed as good as anything else to begin with.

“I’m sorry.” It sounded so awkward that he wasn’t surprised by the forced smile Cas gave him.

“Oh, that sounds rich coming from you.” Cas turned around and started walking again, Dean unable to follow.

“So what, you’re just going to leave?”

“Look who finally caught on,” Cas said as he kept walking.

“Cas, honestly-”

“No, fuck you!” Cas dropped his bag and stormed towards Dean. He looked murderous. “I actually trusted you, I let you in, and I was stupid enough to believe we were friends. And you want to know what’s worse?”  _No, not really._ “I was too careless to think that you  _actually_ liked me.” A tight knot gripped his gut. “Not like the girls here like you but at least as a friend. So fuck you  _AND_ your bullshit apologies.”

Dean, in his seventeen years of life, had fucked up plenty of times. For example, in third grade he had left the pet hamster loose and then, in an attempt to catch it, toppled over the bookshelf. In fifth grade, he had wrote Melissa Green that “She was funny but had very ugly teeth” in her Valentine card. Short to say that she got really upset. In his first day of high school, he was found in the janitor’s room making out with Gabby Rackner. None of that compared to how much he had fucked up this time.

Cas had already picked up his duffel bag but Dean couldn’t just leave it like that between them.

“Fine, then I’ll go with you.”

“You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” Cas gave him another smile that border lined as crazy. “You fucked up! You lost! There’s a person on this planet that doesn’t like you, get over it.”

Dean sighed in annoyance. “I just don’t want you to leave when I know I could’ve done something to prevent it.” The knot gripping his gut gave a sick twist. “I’m not going to watch you walk away.”

He was dizzy and his palms were sweating but he had meant it. If  _he_ couldn’t run from his problems, like hell would he let Cas do it.

“Wow.” Cas was glaring at him, not in the way Dean was already used to. “If I didn’t already know you, I’d think you were a nice guy.”

“Flatter me all you want, I’m still coming with you.”

“You’re wasting your time.”

“So are you.”

Dean stood as straight as possible, to show Cas just how serious he was. There was a possibility Cas might’ve been right and Dean ended up wasting his time trying to convince him to stay, but he had to at least try. If not for him, at least for Officer Mills.

He walked behind Cas until the path winded and they were able to walk side by side, Dean glancing at Cas from time to time. Cas had a tight grip on the duffel’s strap, almost as if he knew Dean had thought of just taking the bag and running. Cas was leading the way even though they were walking side by side for about 10 minutes and everything looked the same to Dean that he had no idea where they were going.

Walking with him and hoping he wouldn’t leave wouldn’t help, so he tried again at apologizing.

“I’m sorry.” He looked down at the ground, hands in his army jacket’s pockets as he watched their synchronized footsteps. “If I had known about your situation, I wouldn’t have said anything. Well, either way I shouldn’t have said anything, even if you did have parents.” Dean dared to glance at Cas again. Hi face was as still as a rock but his grip on the strap had tightened.

There were a million other things he could’ve said but had no words for any of them.

“And I do like you.” It came out in a rush that Dean had no way of stopping it. “You know, as a friend. You’re definitely the weirdest guy I know, and I know a guy with a mullet.”

“Are you done with your  _apology_?”

Dean stopped on his track and finally met Cas’ eyes. To say that he was scared was an understatement.

“I was just-”

“I don’t  _care_ about your apology. I don’t  _care_ about your reasoning. Frankly, I don’t care about  _you_ , so leave me the  _FUCK_ alone.”

NOW Dean was a little ticked off. “Is that really how you feel?”

“What do you think?”

They glared at each other until Dean thought of the stupidest idea he’s ever had. And that’s saying a lot.

“Alright then. Punch me.”

Cas’ glare was replaced with confusion. “What?”

“If you really hate me so much, punch me.”

“I’m not going to punch you.”

“It will make me feel better and I bet it will make you feel good too.”

“I’m not going to punch you Dean.”

“Come on, don’t be a pussy.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Just do it.”

“I am not going to punch you.”

“Cas, I won’t ask again.”

“I’m not going to punch you!”

“Cas, just do-”

“Okay, fine.”

The punch came before Dean was able to register it. Pain flared throughout his face but his nose had gotten the full impact. He staggered back, his hand trying to stop the overflowing blood that was already pouring out. Dean didn’t say anything for a while, mostly because some of the blood had gone into his mouth, but when he saw Cas shaking his hand with a pained expression, Dean got a little mad.

“Are you really going to complain about your hand hurting?” Cas was still shaking his hand but when he saw Dean gripping at his bleeding nose, a suppressed smile blossomed on his face. Dean kept glaring at him and that’s when Cas finally broke. He started laughing his ass off and when he tried to calm down, one look at Dean threw him into more laughing hysterics.  “Are fucking serious right now?”

Cas tried to calm down once again and was a little more successful that time. “I’m-I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.” He was still smiling and that little smile and the fact that Dean had just been punched on the fucking nose; he was so out of it that he began to chuckle too. Cas wasn’t laughing as hard anymore and Dean could still taste his own blood.

Dean was still looking up at the barely visible sky when he felt Cas pushing his hand away and placing a piece of cloth on his nose. He let himself be led by Cas since it WAS his fault Dean could look nowhere else but up.

“Sit.” His back was pressed against a log and Cas sat next to him.

“Damn Cas, you have a hell of a right hook.” Cas scoffed.

“You told to do it and I’m not one to ignore orders.” It was Dean’s turn to scoff. He was still looking up but he felt Cas’ eyes on him. “I shouldn’t have done it, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I deserved it after the way I acted tonight.”

“Yeah, kind of.” They laughed again but Dean stopped short since his nose throbbed horribly. The cloth was already filled with blood and his hand was getting stained. “Here.” Cas grabbed the cloth and switched it out with a clean one.

“Why the hell do you have so many damn pieces of cloth?”

“I’m ripping a shirt genius.”

Dean didn’t want to ruin the moment but he had to make sure he had done his job. “So, what? Apology accepted?”

There was a moment of silence that worried Dean. He turned his head and met Cas’ gaze, hard blue eyes staring at him with furrowed eyebrows that didn’t indicate whether he was glaring at Dean or thinking. Either way, it was pretty damn cute. Dean was worried that he would stand up and simply walk away but Cas smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, apology accepted.”

“Good.”

Dean’s face still hurt but he didn’t feel blood flowing out of his nose anymore.

“Okay,” he removed the cloth and looked at Cas, “tell me the truth; do I look like Paris Hilton?”

“I have no idea who that is but your nose is adorably swollen.” Dean tried not to think too much into the comment but he was glad it was dark enough not to show Cas how much he was blushing.  

Cas pulled out his flashlight (nasty, I bet you thought he pulled something else out) and placed it between them. Dean’s nose was still throbbing but it didn’t hurt as much anymore. Maybe he got a concussion or something because he wasn’t even mad that he had gotten punched right on the nose.

“Cas.” Dean needed to apologize because it might’ve felt like the dust had settled but there still was so much to apologize for. “I really am sorry for what I said. It was unfair to you and you didn’t deserve that.” Cas was looking at the forest but didn’t stop Dean from apologizing. “And I appreciate the fact that you let me in since I know how hard that is, even though you didn’t tell me you were a foster kid I appreciate the fact that you trusted me with the other information. I really am sorry.”

He was looking at Cas, waiting for a respond or even a reaction. For a while, Cas said absolutely nothing but when he did, he was still looking at the forest.

“How did you know about the foster thing?”

“This short girl told me.” Cas’ head snapped to look at Dean but his initial look of shock was replaced with something else Dean couldn’t identify. He turned away again and Dean was kind of disappointed but he kept staring at Cas.

“Nobody knows that.”

“Well, she did.”

“She probably read my file.”

“Awesome.”

“I know, right?”

Dean smiled when he saw the small smile on Cas’ lips. He scooted closer to him and Cas’ smile grew just the slightest bit.

“Where you actually going to leave?”

“That was the plan.”

“Are you still leaving?” The fact that he didn’t respond worried Dean and even when he poked Cas with his shoulder he stayed silent.  “Cas?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“So I can  _still_ convince you to stay?” Cas once again stayed silent but he was leaning against Dean which was comforting.

It was quiet and dark and a little chilly but it was still the one place he wanted to be. Cas was close to him and he was wearing his black sweater but was still shivering the slightest bit. Dean put his hand on the log behind Cas and was able to see the ghost of a smile on Cas’ face.

“Why would you want me to stay?” It was a quiet question that made Dean’s heart race and his hands sweat. It made his nose stop hurting.

He thought about it for a second, trying not to screw up the moment. “You’re the only guy here that would beat the crap out of me if it came down to it and that’s a true turn on for me.”

Cas glared at him but he was still slightly smiling. “Oh shut up.”

They were extremely close to each other and it was there again, the great  _What if_. Dean got the slightest bit closer and his heart raced that much faster when Cas shifted so their shoulders weren’t in the way.

“But besides that,” he was whispering now for some reason and couldn’t take his eyes away from Cas’ lips, “why would I need you to stay?”

“I don’t know,” their noses rubbed together and Dean could taste Cas’ breathe, “maybe for comedic relief?”

Dean laughed and Cas smiled but neither made a move. He wanted to do it, just go for it, but Cas backed away before he could do anything. Dean was a little hurt but then he heard the twigs cracking and the laughter that was coming from a little far away. Dean put a considerable amount of space between them when the group of guys that Dean shared a cabin with came out of the woods.

“Hey guys, what are you doing alone in the woods?”

“Meeting up with some girls.” Cas chuckled but it was low enough to not be heard. “Where are you guys going?”

“The girls are actually working at the warehouse.”

“Oh, cool.” Dean stood up and Cas, following his lead, stood up too.

The guys had already begun to walk but Dean and Cas took their time to catch up.

“Cas, where the hell are we?”

“I circled back when you caught up with me.” Dean smiled and knew that there shouldn’t be more  _What if_  moments and no more beating around the bush. He made a sharp left and headed into the dense woods without a second thought. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

He began to walk without waiting for Cas to follow since he knew he would. Dean walked kind of fast and didn’t go as far from the trail when Cas finally spoke.

“That was discrete.”

“Was it too obvious?” Dean turned and his nose brushed against Cas’. He felt Cas’ hands already pulling on Dean’s jacket and his hands gripped on Cas’ sweater. “I take it that it was.”

Dean could feel the smile on Cas’ lips when they fucking finally met. It was excruciatingly slow but it tasted so damn amazing. Every kiss was dragged out and their tongues crashed together in the sweetest way possible. Cas’ hands slid beneath Dean’s shirt, pulling out a soft groan from him that only made the moment that much  _needy_ , wanting to get closer. Dean pulled on Cas’ sweater, wanting to get closer.

It shouldn’t have been this accelerating but it was and the way that he could feel Cas’ smile made him a little weak on the knees. Cas removed one of his hands from Dean’s hip and he groaned in protest but Cas was sliding his fingers through Dean’s hair and pulling on it just right that their mouths slid together better and his head started swimming. Dean pushed his hands under Cas’ sweater and his hands slid over his sides and lower back, making Cas gasp and giving Dean the opportunity to lick into his mouth. Cas’ pulled on Dean’s hips, his warm hands leaving hot trails all over his skin.

Dean felt it all over, the chills running throughout his entire body and against his will, he pulled away. Cas growled and Dean was so tempted to kiss the hell out of him but he didn’t.

“Cas.” Cas’ eyes were still trained on Dean’s lips and that made him squirm just the tightest bit. “Cas.” He nodded but maintained his eyes on Dean’s lips. “We need to keep this between us.”

Cas finally met Dean’s eyes with a glare that was so  _damn_ attractive. “Because I have so many people to tell about the moment we decided to spend the rest of our lives together.”

Dean rolled his eyes and when they kissed again, they were both smiling and pulling on each other’s clothes and gasping and it was amazing.

Dean’s nose hurt like hell but he would be fucking idiotic if he pulled away again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my last story (Meant To Be) I wrote very light smut so this is, in my opinion, my first written smut. Please be gentle.

** Sunday, June 7th **

They were kissing for 15 minutes until they heard the distant voices of the rest of the campers. Dean didn’t want to pull away since Cas was an amazing fucking kisser but they were close to the trail and there wasn’t much cover so they were going to be noticed.

“Come ‘er.” He pulled on Cas’ sleeve as he moved them behind a thick tree. Cas was still sticking his tongue down Dean’s throat and he wasn’t putting much of a fight to stop it.  Even when he could here girl’s laughing close by, Cas was still pressing up against him and Dean’s shoulders bit into the bark but he was still pulling on Cas’ hips and trying to move him closer.

“I think we should join the group,” Cas whispered between breathes as he kept pulling on Dean’s army jacket.

“Yeah, we should.” Neither stopped their wandering hands for another 5 minutes. Both of them stepped into the trail, adjusting misplaced clothes. Dean was about to walk towards The Pit but first fixed Cas’ hair, messier than usual and Dean’s hands were to blame. As he adjusted Cas’ hair, Dean was closer than actually necessary. Just as he was about to back away, Cas stole a quick kiss that turned a little hungrier until Dean remembered they were out in the open.

He cleared his throat and they finally started to slowly walk, Cas throwing the duffel’s strap over his shoulder. There was distance between them but they kept glancing over to each other, sharing only a second until Cas’ lips hinted at the smallest trace of a smile.

“What?” Dean asked as he bumped they shoulders together with his own smile.

Cas’ smile got slightly bigger as he looked at the ground. “Nothing.”

“Come on, tell me.”

They were walking extremely slowly, the space between them gone. Cas had his hands in his pockets, his thin sweater not enough for the chilly night. Dean wanted to take his jacket off and place it over his shoulders but that would be too cheesy of a move and he wasn’t going to be a part of a stupid chick flick moment.

Finally, Cas looked at Dean with a half-smile that was the most Dean had seen of him flirting. It was extremely hot. “I didn’t think this was how my night was going to end.”

He scoffed as they kept walking, walking slow but still getting closer to The Pit. Dean was surprised to feel a little disappointed at the thought of reaching The Pit since the twins would be waiting for him and he should’ve been ecstatic at that. Instead, he tried to walk slower, if it was even possible, just to have more time to talk to Cas.

Dean laughed again, looking up at the sky and the bright full moon.

“I’m taking a shot in the dark here but, I guess you like me as a friend?”

He was still looking upwards when Cas shoved him hard. Dean laughed at Cas’ suppressed smile and moved closer to him again. “Not yet,” Cas said as he rubbed his arms before folding them tight against his chest, one hand still holding the duffel’s strap. “That kiss wasn’t all that convincing.”

Dean knew it was meant as a joke but he had NEVER gotten anything below an A in kissing so he DID get more offended than intended.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Too much saliva, not enough tongue.”

“Oh, right, as if you were the best goddamn kiss I’ve ever had.”

“I’m not saying that it was a competition, I’m just saying that you would need a little practice before next time.”

He looked at Cas with what he knew was an annoyingly smug smile which was confirmed with Cas’ roll of eyes.

“It’s that so?”

“Shut it.”

“There’s future make out sessions that I should be looking forward to?”

“God, you’re so annoying.” Even when he said that Cas was smiling. “I can’t believe you tricked me into it.”

Dean scoffed. “Oh, as if you were putting much of a fight when you confirmed your undying love for me yesterday.”

Cas punched him in the arm a little too hard. “I didn’t confess shit to you yesterday.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets again and stared at the ground. The transition was a little weird and Dean thought it was his fault but he had a suspicion it went deeper than their conversation. He let the silence return without pushing it, though he did keep glancing over at Cas who, thankfully, hadn’t sped up their walk. “And you DID trick me into it since you parade around naked whenever you want,” Cas finally whispered.

Dean immediately jumped on it with a laugh. “That was once jackass and YOU walked in on ME. It wasn’t my fault that I happened to be showering and you happened to show up.”

“It so was since you knew I ran and had to shower before meeting with Counselor Zach.”

“Lies.” It was completely true. Dean had set up his watch to wake him up a couple of minutes before the time he assumed Cas would be taking a shower and headed over, showering for about 10 minutes until he heard the door open. It was all part of a masterful plan to get him a good make out session with Cas in the woods that could’ve easily gone horribly wrong if anybody else had been the one to open the door. One of the twins would’ve been his second choice. Hell, both of them would’ve been sweet.

Cas smiled, small and concealed by the shadow the moon caused from behind them.

“But honestly, do you still not like me?”

“Well,” Cas looked ahead, The Pit coming into view, “you’re still a conceited asshole who needs a filter but, I guess I tolerate you. Just a little,” he added when Dean pumped up a fist in triumph.

“I knew I would get you.”

“And I knew you had tricked me into it.”

They were still laughing when they reached the outskirts of The Pit. Some people turned but quickly went back to roasting their marshmallows on the fire.

Officer Mills was by a cop car that was parked at the side of the Big House, chewing on her nail with her walkie-talkie in hand. Dean waved at her when she looked their way and she let out a visible sigh of relief.

Dean was about to wave his goodbye when something finally came into focus.

“Hey, I have a question. Why did you circle back to the campsite?” Cas’ small smile disappeared as he avoided eye contact and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at The Pit. “Cas?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit.”

Cas glared at him but Dean glared right back. “I was giving you a chance to apologize, giving you a chance to convince me to stay.”

Dean smiled and was about to say something else but he felt a hand land on his shoulder before he got a word out.

“Hello boys.” Officer Mills had a hand on Cas’ and Dean’s shoulders, smiling with no humor. “Dean, mind if I have a chat with Cas for a moment?”

“Do I have a choice?” She laughed and so did he but the hard squeeze on his shoulder told him to leave while he still could. He gave her a forced smile and threw Cas a wink before heading towards the awaiting empty space on the twin’s log.

As soon as he sat down, both girls linked their arms with Dean’s.

“Hey, where the hell did you guys go?”

Dean was sticking a marshmallow onto a stick one of the twins had provided. “We went to smoke.”

The guy who slept next to Dean leaned in closer with wide eyes. “Marijuana?”

“No, Nancy Drew, cigarettes.”

He held the stick over the fire as he pretended to listen to something the twins were telling him, laughing when they laughed and agreeing when they said ‘ _right?_ ’

All he could think about was that goddamn forest kiss. Fuck Cas and his kissable lips.

Holy shit did that thought bring some thoughts into his head.

** Day #3 **

Castiel watched Dean walk over to The Pit, not at all checking him out, definitely not with a stupid little smile. He would’ve kept with the reminiscing of that ass but Jody was looking at him with a raised eyebrow that made him want to bury himself in the ground.

“Have fun tonight?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Good, so you can tell me where the hell you ran off to during dinner.”

“I went for a walk to cool off.”

“You don’t take your clothes for a ‘walk’.” Jody growled as she yanked the duffel bag from his shoulder. Castiel looked down at his shoes in guilt. “Castiel, what were you doing?”

There were so many lies that would’ve fit the situation but Castiel couldn’t think of a single one. He had fucked up and he didn’t want to lie but then Jody would say how disappointed she was before shipping him off to Juvy.

Castiel, in the quietest voice, said, “I’m sorry.”

And then came the horrible sigh that confirmed Jody’s worst fears. “Castiel, what-”

 He met her eyes and tried to reason with her the best he could. “But Dean apologized and now I’m fine, I swear.  It was a misunderstanding that we talked out and now I’m fine and I promise you don’t have to worry.”

“And I have to take your word for it?”

“Please do.”

Castiel knew that his word meant jackshit because whenever he had given his word in the past he had done the exact opposite. There was no reason for her to trust him and everything he was saying but Castiel really hoped she would. Contrary to earlier belief, he didn’t want to leave Black Water Camp just yet.

Jody stared him down and he was completely positive she would pull him to the cop car right then but she just heavily sighed and rubbed her eyes, handing him back the bag.

“Fine,” Castiel smiled but Jody wasn’t finished, “but if you DO leave, I won’t have a choice but to send you to Juvy as soon as I find you.”

“I understand.”

“And I don’t want you to hang out with that Winchester.”

That last one froze his smile and made his brain kind of stutter. “What?”

“I don’t like him, he causes too much trouble and the way he sent you running for the hills doesn’t sit well with me either.” Castiel wanted to give his case but Jody wasn’t in the arguing mood at the moment so he just nodded until Jody sent him off to his cabin. As he walked past The Pit, some people looked at him and whispered amongst each other but it didn’t last, the gossipers laughing about something else. Or, at least, he hoped so.

He was passing Dean, whose back was to the cabin, and they made eye contact. Dean gave him a small smile that Castiel didn’t return and he quickly looked away, his grip on the strap tightening.

It seemed like only seconds had passed by until the guys were filing into the cabin. Castiel was reading his book, rereading the same passage over and over again since his mind kept wandering off. The guys were once again rambling on about one of the girls they were hoping would put out but was being too much of a tease for their liking.

Even though he was trying his damn hardest not to, Castiel’s eyes would lift from the page just for a second, enough to see Dean’s squinted eyes investigating his features.

He kept his eyes on the same word until the guys turned the lights off and announced it was time to go to sleep. But who the hell was Castiel kidding? He couldn’t keep his eyes shut long enough to fall asleep.

He knew it, he fucking _knew_ it, and yet he got attached. Whether it is Castiel’s stupidity or something natural as Jody not approving, Castiel should’ve known better than to let himself get attached to a place as temporary as this fucking camp.

And now, Dean will probably ask what she said and then he’s going to have to blow him off, not in the way either of them would want, and loose the second friend he made in this hellhole. Not to mention, no more make out sessions in his favorite place in the world. That’s what hurt the most.

And just like that, Castiel was making exaggerated scenarios in which they sneaked around camp just to talk or have a quick interaction. God, he was hopeless.

What the hell had gotten into his head? Castiel wasn’t like this; he didn’t obsess over dickheads like Dean. It wasn’t even an obsession, he was just in heat. The idea of not talking to Dean was so devastating to him because Castiel was thinking of all the make outs he would be missing but if he thought long and hard about it, Castiel was pretty sure he still didn’t like Dean. He was just a good kisser, that’s all. The idea was comforting, in the slightest bit possible, and the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that all he needed was Meg and Dean’s kisses would be missed but not much. After all, Castiel HAD meant the ‘too much saliva, not enough tongue’ comment he’d told Dean.

Jody was right, Dean was more trouble than what he was worth and Castiel wouldn’t keep getting in trouble for someone who had probably done nothing for anybody else. His mind was pretty clear afterwards but he still couldn’t sleep so he waited about 30 minutes, to be sure everyone was asleep, and left the cabin.

Castiel ran until his chest was tight and his legs were numb and couldn’t carry him any further. The night was cold but it felt fucking amazing with the sweat soaking his shirt and shorts. He sat on a rock and it took him a little while to realize he was sitting near the spot Dean and he had shared their first kiss.

Suddenly, he was reconsidering the sneaking around just to get to taste Dean’s lips again, to feel their hips pressed against each other, to feel his hands on Dean’s warm skin once more.

Castiel was always alone when he was in a new home. His foster siblings would be nice and make polite conversation but he kept to himself. At school, he wouldn’t talk or participate, the people around him immediately disliking him. He was always fine with that because they were always temporary since he would end up ditching the place. But this was different. Jody was leaning on him and he couldn’t let her down again when she had taken his word against her better judgment. He wouldn’t be able to ditch this place as easily, meaning that he would have to deal with Dean. Castiel was planning on keeping his head down the whole summer but then Dean pushed him out of his comfort zone just to have a make out session.

Castiel was really screwed. He didn’t want to disappoint Jody and go against her order but like hell did he want to keep his distance from Dean.

He ran for a couple hours until his legs couldn’t carry him any further. A quick shower and change of clothes later, Castiel was back in the warmness of his bed and to the comfort of being in a place with other people. Even though he liked being alone, he didn’t so much enjoy being lonely, and being in a room full of sleeping people was good enough.

The next morning, Castiel was being woken up by Counselor Zach’s screaming and the bright light in the darkness of the cabin. As usual, he stayed on top of the bunk bed, waiting for the rest of the guy’s to filter out, including Dean, who didn’t so much as look at Castiel.

He shouldn’t have been upset, after all, it was a quick fix to his problem, but it did sting a little.

Since it was Monday, it was the guys turn to set up the week’s meals. Castiel was walking towards the cafeteria, the first one since the others were still in the bathroom arguing with the girls, but he was joined soon after by a friendly face.

“It’s too nice of a morning for you to be so glum.” Meg had her hands in the back pockets of her ripped jeans.

“I’m not upset.”

“Yeah, and I’m taller than you.” Castiel forced a smile but he was too exhausted to try and make it look convincing. “Clarence, you need to loosen up I was just kidding.”  She hit his arm playfully before turning around and walking back to the rest of the girls.

Castiel walked into the cafeteria, some of the guys from the other cabin already milling around the kitchen. One of them turned to Castiel and told him to start heating up the water for the oatmeal and Castiel didn’t argue against him because it was a pretty straight-forward job.

He got out a big pot and started filling it with water, the rest of the guys coming in and since breakfast didn’t require as much of a setup, most of them sat around pretending to help. Castiel turned the heat all the way and leaned against the counter next to the stove, arms crossed and left ankle over the right.

“Hey.” Dean walked over to him with a charming smile. Castiel hated that smile. He was wearing a dark green button down shirt that was unbuttoned and a black t-shirt underneath. His jeans had two small rips and his combat boots smacked against the tiles. Castiel wanted to look away but Dean was hypnotizing. Fucking asshole.

“Hey.”

“What’s with the water?”

“For the oatmeal.”

Dean nodded without interest as he sat on the counter next to Castiel. “So, Cas, how are you this morning?” He looked at Dean with raised eyebrows and the small smile Dean had was replaced with a grimace. “Yeah, that sounded weird.” Castiel laughed and Dean chuckled as he started to swing his feet. “Yesterday you looked weird after your conversation with Officer Mills. Everything cool?”

Castiel wasn’t as much dreading the question just hoping it would’ve never come. He turned back to the water which still hadn’t boiled as Dean scooted closer to the stove. He should answer with the truth but that sounds too much like a teen movie.

“She wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to run away.”

“I was kind of expecting that.” Dean jumped down from the counter and stood a little too close to Castiel. He had a hint of cologne that Castiel hadn’t smelled last night, which was a nice surprise. “So I was thinking that tonight we could sneak out again into our part of the woods to have a ‘midnight snack.’ What do you say?”

Castiel could feel Dean pressing against his side and when he whispered right into his ear, a shiver ran down his spine. He wanted to move away but there wasn’t much space and, to be frank, he didn’t _really_ want to move.

“I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Dean shifted a little, just enough that he was pressing a little closer to him. “Why not,” he said right against Castiel’s ear, the whisper rushed out and urgent. “Is it because of the ‘too much saliva, not enough tongue’ thing? Because if it is, we can totally work on that tonight when we _sneak out_.”

He rolled his eyes, the water finally starting to boil. “I was just kidding last night when I said that. And Jody won’t tolerate me not being in the cabin a second time.”

“I promise it will take less than 30 minutes.” Castiel raised an eyebrow at him and once Dean had really thought of his sentence, he raised a finger before rephrasing himself. “What I meant to say is that if we sneak out early enough, it would look like we were gone less than 30 minutes. Obviously, I can last more than 30 minutes.” Castiel laughed as removed the pot from the stove and moved towards the table where the oatmeal boxes were set up. “I just need you to know,” Dean said as he caught up to him, “that I can last more than 30 minutes.”

“I’m sure you can, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think this is a good idea.” Dean stood on the opposite side of the table, hands crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to get in trouble with Jody.” Dean tilted his head to the right in the slightest. “Besides, the twins would really miss you during the bonfire.” Dean’s lips quirked at the sides, eyes hooded behind curled eyelashes as he looked at him. “Someone might see us and the plan of keeping it between us won’t work.” Dean liked his lips before biting his lower lip with a smirk. And that was the end of Castiel’s will. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

“Yes!” Dean slapped him on the shoulder before sauntering off to his usual table, already occupied with the twins and some of the guys form their cabin.

Even though he was excited of the evening ahead of him, Castiel was pretty disappointed in himself. Jody had asked him not to hang out with Dean anymore because she was worried about him getting in trouble and Castiel should’ve appreciated it but, at the moment, he couldn’t think of anything else but Dean’s lips.

After the rest of the group got their breakfast, Castiel got his own oatmeal and went to sit at his table, a short girl with curly black hair already sitting there.

“Hello Clarence.”

“Meg,” Castiel smiled at her as he sat across from her. “This is a nice surprise.”

“Awe, Clarence you’re such a sweetheart.” They ate in silence for a while, both of them looking out the window and at the glistening lake. “Did everything work out yesterday?”

He was still looking at the window when he answered. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Good, so that asshole _did_ apologize?” He laughed alongside her as he nodded and took another spoonful of oatmeal. “I gotta say Clarence, you look like the type of guy who wouldn’t take that kind of crap from anybody.”

“I don’t, but Dean made a compelling argument and I couldn’t do that to Jody.” He was about to take another spoonful when he remember what he wanted to ask Meg. “However, when Dean caught up to me, he mentioned the foster homes. I never told anybody that.” Meg was looking down at her bowl. “So how did _you_ know that?”

She shrugged nonchalantly but Castiel pressed. He was really curious to know how she had found out even though he had a pretty good idea on what had happened.

“Fine, I went into Mr. Smith’s office in the middle of the night and read your file. It’s no big deal.”

“It kind of is.”

“Ugh, you exaggerate too much.” Even though he was a little mad that she had invaded his privacy in such a way, he couldn’t help but smile. The rest of breakfast was eaten in pleasant silence between them, the rest of the cafeteria loud with laughter.

Afterwards, the guys were sent to the Shack with Counselor Zach as the day’s supervisor. That was going to be interesting. Once they had reached the rundown building, he ordered two guys per table and once Castiel had picked the last table on the right row, Dean joined him with a smirk.

The day just kept getting more and more interesting.

Counselor Zach quickly ordered them into silence and told them their assignment for the day; within the time limit of an hour, they had to build a decent box with an opening panel that was worthy of the ‘Zach Pack Award.’ Whatever THAT meant.

The pieces they would be using were already cut since delinquent teenagers couldn’t be trusted with a saw, but that also meant the workload was cut down a considerable much.

In the first 5 minutes, Dean and Castiel were both focused in their work but they quickly realized they were two out of the five in the whole room who were capable of fixing a box and the rest were too busy messing around with the screws and other tools. Within the first 5 minutes, penises were already carved into several pieces of wood.

“So I was thinking that we could make our box out of the pieces of oak wood, using this gold latch to properly close it, then we should discuss our appointment later today, and finally divide the inside of the box into three different sections.”

Castiel glared at Dean, sitting across the table and shuffling through the toolbox set on their table. “You’re impossible.”

“But don’t you agree I’m equally as charming?” Dean said with a wink. Castiel tried not to smile as he moved the pieces of wood closer to him in an effort to stop the flush of red quickly spreading up his neck and into his cheeks. “Cas,” he raised an eyebrow at him, “have you thought of my preposition?”

“Preposition?”

“Fine, _inquiry_ , since you are such a simple minded man.” Castiel glared at him again and that made the blush disappear but then Dean liked his lips with a sharp smirk that brought heat to his cheeks again. “So, have you?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t had the time.”

“If I stay quiet for five minutes, will you think about it?”

“No, but the silence will be greatly appreciated.” Dean scoffed before pulling the oak wood out of Castiel’s hands and towards his side of the table. “I don’t see why you’re so insistent.”

“Because, Cas, I am eager to prove you wrong on what so many have said was their best kissing experience.” He leaned forward with hands clasped on the tabletop. “And,” he continued in a hushed whisper, “because you’re refusing to acknowledge my advances and that’s kind of a turn on for me.”

At that point, Castiel was pretty sure he was as red as a tomato and the fact that Dean was snickering only made the flush more prominent. “I’m not having this conversation with you here.”

“Ah,” Dean exclaimed in triumph, “but you ARE having this conversation with me at some point.”

“I never said that.”

“But you implied it.”

He rolled his eyes as he yanked the oak from Dean’s hands back and started placing them together. “If I knew you were going to be this way, I would’ve made a run for it before you were able to catch up.”

“But you didn’t and NOW, you’re stuck with a sexy motherfucker who is very persistent.”

“And when do I meet this so-called ‘Sexy Motherfucker’?”

“Ha ha.”

Castiel looked down at the pieces he was trying to assemble but they weren’t aligning properly and no matter how still his hands were, they pieces of wood shook out of place. It was annoying and the fact that Dean was laughing at his look of frustration only made the task even more tedious.

“Need help?” He jumped a little when he felt Dean’s breathe against his ear and the hand that rested on the small of his back. Castiel moved away, darting his eyes around the room to make sure nobody had seen but everyone was too distracted messing around to really care.

“Dean.”

“Oh come on Cas, stop playing it safe.”

Dean sat on the stool and turned his attention back to the table, forcing Castiel to sit on the stool Dean had previously sat on. He was glaring at Dean and dreading the day he had ever decided to interact with the arrogant asshole. While still glaring at him, Dean glanced at him before returning to his work, concentration apparent in his creased brows.

“Stop frowning, you’ll get crinkles.”

“YOU give me crinkles.”

“That made sense.”

“You would know.” Castiel sighed in exasperation, rubbing his eyes and trying to calm down. It was getting to the point in which he was _very_ tempted to punch Dean on the nose again. It was still swollen. “Alright,” Dean raised his hands and tried to look serious but Castiel could still see his smile, “I’m sorry.” Castiel was still glaring at him. “I’ll stop.”

It didn’t sound sincere but Castiel wanted to drop it for his own sanity. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, so let’s just kiss and make up so we can get back to work.” He shot up from his seat and started to walk away from the table. “Come on, you set that up for me on a silver platter!”

He rolled his eyes as he walked on the isle between the worktables towards the desk in the left corner of the Shack where Counselor Zach had his feet on it reading a magazine.  

“What do you want?” He growled without looking away from his magazine.

It occurred to Castiel that maybe he should’ve thought of something while walking over. “I was wondering what our next activity was.”

“I’ll let you know.” Castiel stood his ground until Counselor Zach dropped his feet to the ground and sat forward to glare at Castiel. “Want me to right you up?”

“No sir.”

He was about to turn and walk back when Jody walked in. She smiled at him and Castiel tried but he couldn’t because he was thinking of the pile of shit he was in at the moment. Slowly, he made his way back to the table where Dean was working on their box, distracted enough to not interact with Castiel immediately.

Castiel decided, in an effort to look busy and not encourage Jody to go to their table, to start building his own box to waste the time.

“This assignment is bullshit,” Dean said as he screwed the latch into place.

“It’s for discipline.”

“No, it’s a bullshit assignment so they can make us build bullshit boxes which they’ll end up throwing away because they’re trying to teach us a bullshit lesson.” Castiel was a little surprised with the anger behind his voice but decided to not think much of it. As if reading his mind, Dean continued with more anger. “I mean, this is an insult of my skills.” Angrily, he threw down the screwdriver and rested his chin on top of his folded hands.

Castiel was trying to focus on his work but he could feel Dean’s eyes on him and it was a little hard to concentrate when a foot kept rubbing against his leg.

“Dean.” He was still looking down at his box but the foot kept snaking upwards slowly. “Dean.” Castiel’s eyes finally focused on Dean’s, a ghost of a smile on his lips. They stared at each other as Dean’s foot rested on the bar of Castiel’s stool. He was asking for attention like a needy child and Castiel wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of his attention.

“You look cute when you’re annoyed yet very clearly turned on.” Castiel turned back to the pieces of oak but as he did he felt a boot start to make its slow process up his leg again. He tried hard not to pay attention to it but then the boot was in the middle of his legs and he jumped in the air.

The tables around them turned to look at Castiel awkwardly standing a couple feet away from his work table. Dean’s chin was still resting on his folded hands and he had the same small smile and that was the most infuriating part of it.

He was still standing there when Jody walked over to their table and the rest of the guys had turned to look.

“Is everything alright here?” She glanced between the two, eyes lingering on Castiel but Dean was the one to answer.

“Cas saw a spider.” His chin was still on his folded arms.

“Really?” She said as she was still looking at Castiel.

“Damn Cassie, you sure you should be hanging out with us guys? Shouldn’t you be with the girls?” The other guys began to laugh but Jody was still looking at him and Dean still had that horribly annoying smile.

Castiel tried to laugh along, he had trained himself to do it in his second foster home, but Jody wasn’t buying.

“Well, glad to see everything is fine. However, to avoid any more commotion,” she looked across the room, to the table on the top left corner of the Shack, “you, yeah you, come work with Winchester. And Castiel, you go work on that table.”

He tried not to look too mad but it clearly wasn’t working. Castiel moved to the other side of the room where a short guy with longish brown hair was eating a lollipop and feet were propped up on the table. At first, they didn’t talk to each other because Castiel made it hard to, but the guy was persistent.

“See, this is why you don’t have any friends.”

In defeat, he took a heavy breathe and dropped the screwdriver onto the table. “Alright, I’ll bite. Why?”

“Because you’re a tight ass.”

He nodded once and began working on the his box again.

Soon enough, the hour was over and Counselor Zach was evaluating their boxes. Only 5 people actually built the boxes and two were up to Counselor Zach’s standards, the boxes belonging to Dean and Castiel.

Afterwards, they were lead back to their cabin and, once they had gotten their dirty clothes, went to the basement of the Big House, two washing machines on the left wall and the two driers on the right wall. They divided their clothes into the two washing machines even though the guys didn’t want their clothes to be washed with other dude’s clothes.

“Alright, the laundry will take about an hour so,” Counselor Zach tightly grasped Castiel’s shoulder, “Cassie will stay and keep an eye on it.” He looked around the room. “But I can’t trust Smart Mouth on his own so I need someone to stay with him.” The room was silent and everyone was looking down at the ground or up at the ceiling. For a second he thought he’d be lucky enough to be in the laundry room alone but Counselor Zach wasn’t going to let that happen. “Okay, this is how it’s gonna work; if somebody doesn’t volunteer _I’ll_ volunteer you. Anybody?”

It took a full minute for a hand to finally reluctantly shoot up. And it was attached to none other than Dean. Unlike him, Counselor Zach was smiling when he motioned Dean forward.

“Thank you…”

“Dean.”

“Whatever. The rest of you, upstairs.”

“Actually, I’m taking Castiel with me.” He knew Jody wasn’t going to let them near each other again without putting up a fight.

The rest of the guys went up the stairs as Counselor Zach hanged back. “Mills, I get it; he’s your special case and Smith let you stay to keep an eye on the delinquent but let’s get one thing straight, shall we?” Jody was fuming but she, amazingly, let him keep talking. “I’M the one in charge of the little morons so I get to decide where they stay and where they go and I decided Cassie is staying in a damn laundry room. Are we clear?”

Through gritted teeth, Jody growled a “Yes, sir.” As soon as he left, Jody turned towards Castiel but he was already on it.

“Jody, seriously, if you can’t trust me in a laundry room, might as well send me to Juvy.”

“I _do_ trust you. I _don’t_ trust him though.”

“It shouldn’t matter whether you trust him or not, it all comes down on me.” She looked hesitant and Castiel was tired of that look. “I gave you my word. Can you let it mean something?”

They stared at each other for what seemed to be more than a whole minute but she eventually patted his cheek before heading up the stairs with the rest of the room.

And once again, Castiel was stuck somewhere with Dean Winchester with no form of escape.

What were the chances.

Castiel walked over to the driers where Dean was sitting as he looked down at his swinging feet. He hoisted himself up on the second drier and the awkwardness filled the room almost immediately. The washing machines were on and quietly shaking on the other side of the room and Castiel tried very hard to solely focus on the moving washing machines. By some random luck, or torture (Castiel hadn’t yet decided), the universe kept putting him in these out-of –place situations, places he would normally never be in, with Dean Winchester. Out of all people, it had to be the one who couldn’t keep his body parts to himself. It was as if someone was writing his life to be in the right place so he’d HAVE to interact with Dean. Who the hell leaves to delinquent teens alone for a whole hour?

“She doesn’t like me, does she?” Dean’s question brought him back to reality and far from the washing machines.

“It’s not that she doesn’t like you-”

“You don’t have to sugar coat it for me,” he was still looking down at his feet. “I’m used to it. Generally, I’m not adult’s favorite.”

“Dean, you don’t need her approval.”

“And I’m not looking for it Cas.” He finally looked up, but there was so much hurt in his eyes that Castiel almost wished he hadn’t. “But she’s been trying to keep us apart and I think that’s best.”

“You do realize you basically quoted every cheesy romantic film ever created, right?”

“Shut the fuck up I’m serious.”

And he did look serious but Castiel didn’t like it so instead of staring him down, he looked over at the washing machines and started to laugh. It was low at first but the glare placed on Dean’s face was funny on its own so the laugh kept getting louder. There were tears in his eyes by the time Dean was smiling. He was still staring at Castiel and the smile was small, only half his mouth quirked up, and the way he was smiling made heat travel to his cheeks.

He tried to clear his throat, letting the silence once again take its place in the room.

“Why do you think its best?”

“I don’t know.” Castiel raised an eyebrow which Dean quickly dismissed. “Can we stop talking about it now?”

“Fine, what do you want to do for the rest of the hour?” As soon as the words had left his mouth, Castiel knew he had messed up.

Dean moved closer to him but as he did Castiel jumped off the drier and walked over to the washing machines, supposedly checking how much time was left on them. Dean was laughing but Castiel couldn’t hear him getting closer so that was a relief.

He stayed by the machines for a while, trying to stop the redness in his cheeks before he could face Dean.

“You have a cute butt you know.”

Castiel quickly spun around, indignantly hiding his ass from Dean. He was resting on the palms of his hands and the same small smile was on his lips. Castiel was glaring at him and trying to look intimidating but then Dean licked his lips and Castiel was a blushing mess again.

“Stop that.”

Dean actually seemed surprised. “Stop what?”

“Stop trying to trick me to agree to tonight.”

“First of all, that’s not AT ALL what I’m doing here. Second of all,” he licked his lips again and winked, “it’s totally working.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and turned back to the machine as Dean laughed. “It isn’t.”

“Cas, your neck looks like it got sunburned.” His hand immediately shot to the back of his neck as Dean lost his shit again. Castiel was starting to get annoyed and Dean was only pushing his buttons further. What the hell did he find so attractive about the asshole. “Cas, you make it SO easy.”

Castiel turned around and barreled towards Dean, who scooted to the edge of the drier, expecting Castiel’s response.

“I’m getting fucking sick of you harassing me and getting me in trouble with Jody. With these little comments like HELL am I ever meeting you anywhere.”

Only when he was done with his mini rant did Castiel realize that he was standing right in between Dean’s legs. However, he didn’t move, only glared at the arrogant dick.

“I’m not harassing you Cas.” Dean slowly moved his head closer to Castiel’s but he didn’t back away or do anything. He only stood there. “I’m making things easier for you.”

“This is your idea of ‘easier’?” Their mouths weren’t touching but they were a hair away from it. And to make things more intimate, they were both whispering into the other’s mouth.

“Yeah, I do all the hard work and you get the good stuff.”

“What exactly is the good stuff?”

“My adorable charisma of course.”

“I’m sorry, what was the good stuff, I think I missed it.”

Dean laughed and the air tickled Castiel’s lips. “I didn’t hear you complain last night.”

“My standards are extremely low. Is that it?”

“Well,” Dean puckered his lips, coming into contact with Castiel’s upper lip. He pretended to wonder for a second until he spoke again. “Yeah, I think that’s about it.”

“Alright then.”

But Castiel, being the big idiot that he is, didn’t move again. Even if he had tried, Dean had his arms thrown over his shoulder, one hand going through his hair slowly and carefully. The movement and the close proximity was enough to distract Castiel from the fact that his own hands were firmly placed on Dean’s thighs, the warmth spreading through his hands.

“I thought you were waiting for tonight,” Castiel joked, their mouths still extremely close, _excruciatingly_ close.

“Like I said, you have a nice ass.”

They both laughed and it took a while until they finally, fucking FINALLY, kissed.

His tongue immediately started licking inside Dean’s mouth as his hands moved to Dean’s hips. They were hungry, wet kisses that elicited soft moans and panting and Dean knew just when to pull on Castiel’s hair to make him moan and open his mouth enough for Dean to stick his tongue in it.

As they kept at it, Castiel could feel the growing struggle of Dean’s pants against his chest and the thought made him smile. Dean noticed and was about to pull away to ask but Castiel didn’t give him an opportunity. He bit Dean’s bottom lip, sucking on it and making Dean pull harder on his hair. Both of them were getting sufficiently turned on and Castiel could feel it on his chest.

Castiel had done this before, all of this, but he always got a little nervous before doing it. He never knew whether the person would be ready or would think it was weird or many other reasons but Castiel wasn’t as hesitant with Dean.

He moved his hand, slowly, down Dean’s hip and to the V of his inner thighs. The motion made Dean moan and kiss him harder as he leaned into the touch. His tongue was skirting with Dean’s but he could still feel the smile on his lips.

Castiel moved his hand over the bulge and Dean hissed and once more pulled at Castiel’s hair. He palmed the jeans as Dean fucked himself into his hand without letting their mouths separate for a second.

As his right hand kept pressing against the hard bulge on the denim jeans, his left hand travelled up Dean’s chest until it reached the base of his neck. With his fingertips, his pushed Dean’s chin up and started kissing his Adam’s apple, licking up and down his neck. He kissed his way to Dean’s jawline, sharp and covered with stubble as he kept palming at Dean’s groin.

“Cas,” the word got stuck in his throat as Castiel started to suck the skin hard between his teeth. He knew it was going to leave a mark and the thought made him smile as he reconnected his mouth with Dean’s. Dean placed his hands on Castiel’s cheeks and shoved his tongue into his mouth without stopping the thrusts.

“Want to prove to me that you can last long?”

Dean huffed out a laugh and once again Castiel led his mouth down towards his neck, kissing the red spot he had already given his attention to. He moved to the other side of his neck and began lapping at the freckled skin.

“They’re gonna think I had a meeting with Dracula when you’re done.”

“You would be so lucky,” Castiel said to the wet skin, making Dean shiver as he pressed harder on Castiel’s hand.

Dean was breathing against his ear and the feeling made him suck on the skin harder. He pulled on Dean’s hair, exposing more skin he licked and gently kissed.

“Cas.” It came out breathy and hot against his ear as Dean pressed his thighs against Castiel’s hips. “You’re gonna make me fuck up my pants.”

“Isn’t that tragic?”

“Cas seriously.”

“Well,” Castiel looked up at Dean, mouths barely touching, “what do you want me to do?” He knew the answer before he had even asked the question and Dean’s wicked grin confirmed his guess. Castiel shoved his tongue inside Dean’s mouth and lightly squeezed his groin before walking over to one of the washing machines and opening the lid. He removed one of the socks from inside and squeezed the water out of it as before closing the lid.

“Hurry the fuck up.” Dean’s lips were swollen and Castiel could see his work already visible on his neck. “What the hell’s the sock for?”

“You’ll see.”

Castiel dropped the damp sock next to Dean while Dean pulled on Castiel’s shirt and reconnected their lips. Dean’s tongue was busy searching every part of Castiel’s mouth while he was busy working Dean’s zipper.

“Could you go any slower?” Dean hissed against his mouth.

Finally the zipper was down and Castiel was pulling out Dean’s dick. Dean looked down but Castiel connected their mouths as he began to jerk Dean hard but slowly while kissing him hot and wet.

Dean’s breathe hitched and they rested their foreheads together, both of them breathing hard as they looked at each other. Castiel stared at Dean’s green eyes for a while before looking down to see his body shiver before he finally came, Castiel grabbing the sock to catch it, Dean hissing when the damp cloth swiped at the sensitive head of his dick.

“Jesus, Cas,” Dean breathed, Castiel kissing the corner of his mouth while tucking him back. “I didn’t think you had that in you.”

“Your faith in me is hurtful.”

“I should probably make it up to you.”

Dean hopped off the drier and pushed Castiel against it. “You don’t have to do this.”

“What?” Dean said as he kissed Castiel’s neck. “Don’t you want me to?”

“Fuck yes.”

Dean dropped down to his knees, his hands working faster than Castiel’s had. For a second their eyes met but then Castiel’s closed shut, his head tilting upwards as Dean licked a wet stripe to the tip of his dick. At this point, he was so close to coming but he didn’t have it in him to care, Dean working him well and carefully. His hands, unconsciously, fisted at Dean’s short, brown hair as Dean gave him long, wet, diligent sucks, stopping every so often to play with the head.

“Fucking shit.” His eyes were still shut tight, one hand still in Dean’s hairs while the other grasped at the drier’s edge. Moments later, Dean was swallowing, tucking Castiel away before standing. He pressed his mouth against Castiel’s jawline, fingers sliding underneath his shirt. Castiel’s head was still tilted upwards and his eyes were still closed but now he had a dopey smile and his left arm was draped over Dean’s shoulder.

“This was definitely a first for me.”

“I can’t say the same.” Dean bit his neck lightly. “But I can admit that this was a better laundry room experience.”

His eyes were still closed when he felt Dean’s mouth against his. The kiss felt only seconds long but by the time they were pulling away, they could hear a door closing upstairs. Both of them tried to make the other look relatively normal but there were some things they couldn’t quite hide. For example, the two already forming hickeys on Dean’s neck and the bite mark on Castiel’s.

Fortunately, nobody noticed either of their souvenirs. For the rest of the day, they tried to stay as far away from each other as they could because every time they came close enough, their hands automatically went to the other. Despite that, nobody paid too much attention to notice or at least didn’t say anything about it.

By the time dinner rolled by, Dean’s hickeys were already purple and, by what Castiel could see, they were getting harder to hide.

They were setting up dinner, preparing pasta with steamed broccoli, and every time Dean passed by Castiel, he would let his hand drag over his ass. Every time he did it, Castiel was left a blushing mess.

Soon enough, everyone was settling in except for Dean and Castiel, who lingered in the kitchen for a bit longer.

Castiel was wiping the counter, knowing full well that they were going to clean up after dinner but it gave Dean an excuse to press against him with hands at either side.

“So, did you think about it?”

He had, of course he had, but he had also thought about Jody. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Dean asked as he kissed the nape of Castiel’s neck.

“I just don’t think it’s the smartest move.”

“Who the hell cares about ‘smart’?”

“I do and you should too.”

“Ugh, alright.”

Castiel heard Dean back away but not leave the kitchen. When he turned, he saw him sitting on the island countertop in the middle of the room, looking at his reflecting on a ladle.

“Damn it Cas, what the hell am I gonna do with these fucking hickeys?”

“How should I know?”

“Well, you ARE the one who gave them to me.”

“Do whatever you have to then.”

Dean fell silent and looked down at the ground. Castiel was a little surprised to see the guilt on his features. “That means giving credit to someone else for your work.” It would be a lie to say he wasn’t hurt with the statement but that much. Only a slight bit. “Is that cool with you?”

Castiel was taken aback that Dean would ask and was a little touched as well. “Like I said, do what you have to.”

It came out a little snarky even though Castiel hadn’t meant it, not completely, but Dean smiled and kissed him, a lingering French kiss, before leaving the kitchen and then the cafeteria.

He ate with Meg who asked a lot of questions about Dean for Castiel to feel comfortable. Afterwards, as he made his way towards his cabin, he was able to catch Dean sneak into the woods with one of the twins in hand. It did sting more than he would’ve liked but he understood where Dean was coming from. It would’ve looked suspicious for Dean to have two hickeys after hanging out with a dude all day.

Even as he ran later that night, he had the image of Dean and the girl engraved into his brain and he had to admit to himself that it bothered him way more than he had anticipated. It felt like it was eating him alive.

The next morning he had to shower during breakfast because he hadn’t stopped running the entire night.


	5. Chapter 5

** Monday, May 4th **

He didn’t have his lunch with him that day since he’d been sent out of second period which wasn’t unusual. Dean’s adrenaline was still up but for his meetings he always tried to cool down to not give Pamela a reason to keep him long. However, she had a reason to that day.

“How are you feeling Dean?”

Dean scoffed since it was obvious how he was feeling. “I’m feeling good Pamela, I really am. I feel like I could go ten rounds with a guy,” she raised her eyebrow and the adrenaline spoke before Dean could stop it, “and this time I’m not talking about a fist to fist fight if you know what I mean.”

Pamela smiled like she did before she lectured him about the good things in life and that he was worth it or whatever. “Dean.”

“What do you want me to say? I had a bad day.”

“First time in weeks, isn’t it?”

“That’s why I said bad _day_ not bad _week_.” He knew that sounded aggressive but his adrenaline was still fired up and it would take a little while longer to be back to normal. He leaned back on the couch, his feet already rising as he rubbed his face. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“I want you to tell me what happened.”

“Someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way and I acted before I could think.”

“At least you acknowledge that what you did was reckless.” He nodded as he looked down at his feet, finally able to breathe properly. “Gordon wasn’t in the class so what happened?”

“Gordon isn’t the root to my problems.”

“It sure seems like he is.” Dean’s knee was jumping already and both of them knew that it wasn’t a good thing. “What did the kid say?”

“Does it matter? Either way, it’s going to end up being my problem.”

“Dean, you know that is not true.” Dean played with his hands but didn’t bother to look up at Pamela. “In this situation-”

“In this situation somebody decided to be funny and said something that I was too much of a bitch to handle and that is my fault. I don’t NEED to be protected and I don’t NEED an excuse to act out.” He finally looked at Pamela, her eyes studying him profusely. “You should be proud of that since that’s what you’ve taught me.”

“I’ve told you to think before you act but not that it will always be your fault and I’ve never told you that you don’t need to be protected.” The conversation had already headed down a road that he always hated to go down. “Has anybody told you that you shouldn’t be protected?”

“It’s been implied.” Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to talk much more but fuck it. “Sam’s my little brother and I’m the one that needs to protect him. How can I protect him when I’m being protected?”

“I don’t think he expects you to protect him or do anything.”

“And he shouldn’t.” He was getting emotional already and it was stupid but they were bottled up feelings that felt good to get off his chest. “There shouldn’t be a need for him to ask anything from me and there shouldn’t be things to protect him from. Unfortunately, the world is a fucked up place and the best people are the ones to get fucked up the most so I’m there for him.” He took a deep breath and slowly blew it out, placing his laced hands on top of his head. “Today was a bad day, everybody has bad days. Because of my record, I’m not allowed to have a bad day?”

She looked tired but she always did when he saw her. “Of course you’re allowed.”

“The why am I here in counseling?”

“Because according to your record-“

“Fuck my record!”

“Exactly, fuck your record.” He wanted to punch something and Pamela was just something else to swing at. “Fuck your record Dean but, because of it, we’re supposed to keep a close eye on you.” His jaw clenched and his fists tightened and when she sat next to him on the couch, it took everything in him to not fucking loose it. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a life outside of your record. It doesn’t mean that you can’t grow, and better yourself, and that because of it you don’t deserve a bad day.”

He could feel Pamela’s warm hand on his back and he could feel his heart rate slow down but with that came the clash of emotions. “I AM trying.”

“I know you are.”

“Sammy deserves better and I want to give him better.”

“I know,” she rubbed his back slowly, “and that’s why we have to check up on you. We need to make sure you don’t go off the rail.”

“So I get better for Sammy?”

“So you get better for Sammy.”

He couldn’t look up from the ground since his eyes were watery. Again, he was too much of a bitch to handle anything. “Thank you.” Dean still felt crappy but he felt considerably better, left with a shitload to think about.

 

** Tuesday, June 9th **

When Counselor Zach woke them up that morning, he was too busy yelling and spitting across the room to notice that Cas wasn’t in his bed but Dean and the rest of the guys noticed.

“Do you think he finally bolted?”

“Nah, his bag is still here.”

“He could’ve left it here since he’s getting it from Mills.”

They laughed it off as they headed towards the bathrooms but Dean stayed behind. Last time, Cas _had_ come for his bag first and THEN headed for the hills so he probably didn’t run off. Either way, Dean was worried, more than what he’d expected or cared for.

 He pulled the duffel from under the bed, and placed it on the bottom bed. Dean _did_ understand just how creepy and borderline crazy he was acting but he was worried about Cas being gone all damn night. The only reason he knew that was because that fucking nightmare woke him some time after three and when he had gone off to walk it off, he had heard someone running by. On the other hand, it could’ve been the same crazy psychopath that had buried the body in the cave but he wanted to think it was Cas.

Dean, unfortunately, was still looking through Cas’ bag when Cas walked in, sweaty and red faced.

“Hey!” It came out as a squeak and when Cas gave him a weird look, he cleared his voice and tried again. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Cas said suspiciously, slowly taking a step forward.

“What’s up?” Dean moved in front of the duffel, trying to hide the bag even though it was useless since Cas had already seen it.

“Nothing.” Cas was a couple steps in front of him and even though he was sweaty and sticky and reeked, Dean couldn’t help looking down at Cas’ lips. “What are you doing with my bag?”

“Oh!” He tried to act surprised and innocent as he looked at the bag and back at Cas. “This is your bag?”

Cas glared at him and quickly stepped into Dean’s personal space but only to grab his duffel from the bed. He moved his shirts around and was intently focused on his clothes but Dean could only focus on the way his clothes clung to his brick house shoulders. Dean, never in his LIFE, had been as turned on by shoulders as he was at the moment. “What the hell did you put in my bag?”

“Nothing, I swear.” Cas’ wet hair was so close to touching Dean’s nose and the smell was a little bother some yet nice in a weird way.

Cas raised his eyes and their faces were mere inches away. He _really_ wanted to close the distance. “Then what the hell were you doing looking through my bag?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Bullshit.” The cuss word rolled right off his tongue and it was the hottest thing ever.

“I wasn’t doing anything, seriously.”

“Dean, I really don’t want to play games.”

“Shame.” He focused his attention on Cas’ lips, carefully licking his own lips as he started to lean in but Cas wasn’t having any of it.

“I’m not fucking kidding Dean, what were you doing with my bag?” _Why the hell is he so angry?_

Dean tried to form words but looking at Cas’ lips made Dean taste him in his mouth again. He’d been intoxicated by the taste the rest of the day and when he’d been alone with Cas in the cafeteria last night, it took all his fucking willpower not to rip his clothes off right then and there.

And as fucking _delicious_ the thoughts were, Dean had to stop himself. He could already feel the fucking boner stretching his pants.

“I,” Dean said as he focused his attention on the door that was slightly opened instead, “I was making sure you hadn’t left.” Even as he said it he knew how fucking stupid that sounded.

Cas threw the duffel under the bed and took two steps back. Dean just wanted to close the distance between them. “What?”

“Well, when we didn’t see you in your bed, we just assumed you’d left but you didn’t.”

“Couldn’t you have just seen my bag still here and known?” That was an EXCELLENT point that Dean couldn’t justify.

“I guess you’re right.”

Dean’s eyes focused back down to Cas’ lips, the thought of yesterday’s events flashing through his mind. Suddenly, his pants felt even tighter and again he wished to make that fucking excruciating distance between them disappear, take advantage that his bed was only a couple feet away in the empty cabin. His imagination didn’t get any further than that when Cas cleared his throat loudly.

“Dean, I came in to get a change of clothes so I could take a shower and if we’re done here-”

“How ‘bout tonight?” Dean looked at Cas as he took a small step closer and he was a little too happy when he didn’t back away. The mention of ‘ _shower_ ’ was all his mind needed to push him into madness.

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s sneak out tonight, get a little under-the-cover action again.”

“We weren’t under covers yesterday.”

“But we _could_ be tonight.”

Cas had his classic glare but Dean could tell he wasn’t angry. At least, not visibly. He took another step forward, close enough that he could feel Cas’ breathe on his lips. He snaked his hands onto Cas’ hips, fingers sneaking under his shirt and onto the warm skin. Cas shivered a little as Dean pulled him closer gently, brushing their noses together. However, just as their lips were about to touch, Cas pushed Dean’s hands away.

“I have to shower.” He pushed Dean away from the bed as he pulled the duffel out from underneath the bed, grabbing the first pair of clothes he saw. As he walked out of the cabin, he didn’t even glance at Dean.

“That was a bullshit move,” Dean called after him and Cas didn’t bother to turn.

For a few seconds, Dean stood there with his hand on his crotch, thinking of Cas’ long fingers on the denim, the same fingers that had pushed his chin upwards so Cas could latch onto his neck. Dean absentmindedly touched the two hickies and smiled a little until he remembered that not only had Cas placed his lips on his neck but one of the twins had to.

Of course Cas was pissed at that and it was ridiculous that it had taken Dean this long to realize it. Because of yesterday, Dean had screwed up the chance of getting any farther with Cas and that had been obvious when Cas didn’t even let him sneak in a simple kiss. But, to be fair, Dean would’ve gone further if given the chance.

He cussed at himself before leaving the cabin and heading towards the cafeteria. Breakfast had been set up already but he wasn’t all that hungry so he headed straight to his table and sat next to Sarah, the twin from last night.

As usual, they talked about useless crap that Dean could not care less about. He would glance over at the table across the room, seated under a window, where he’d seen Cas usually seated with Meg. Neither of them were anywhere to be seen.

Dean really should’ve grabbed breakfast; his stomach felt weird and the more he thought of Cas and Meg gone, the weirder it felt. He definitely should’ve grabbed breakfast.

Before he knew it, people were dumping their dirty dishes onto a bucket halfway filled with water and leaving the cafeteria in talking groups. Dean was about to get up and leave too but then he was harshly pulled back down to his seat.

“What the fu-”

“Dean.” It was Sarah, gorgeous blue eyes looking as serious as ever. Wait, her eyes are brown. “We need to talk.”

“Okay?”

Sarah scooted closer to him, taking both of his hands into her own. They were so small and delicate. She pushed a strand of light brown hair out of her face and placed it behind her ear. Fuck she was hot.

“Last night, it was SO much fun.” Dean smiled as he moved closer to Sarah, leaning in closer and eager to see where the conversation was headed. “I mean, it was, like, awesome fun.” She touched the hickies with her fingertips and shots of electricity shot through him. He could see her blue eyes and her pretty pink lips as her fingers gripped his hips. Shit no she has BROWN eyes. He really should’ve gotten breakfast. Dean focused hard on her _brown_ eyes and tried to only think about that. “Wasn’t it?”

“Hell yeah it was.”

Sarah giggled but it was over as soon as it had started. “No, Dean.” She was frustrated and Dean was confused and neither tried to push the conversation forward. But the silence of the cafeteria and the awkward silence between them, Dean wanted the talk over.

“Sarah?”

“This can’t happen again.” Dean was quiet for a while as Sarah released his hands and placed them on her lap. He straightened his back and a wave of mixed emotions swam within him. Dean didn’t have much to say but he didn’t have to say anything. “It was fun and believe me I _wish_ we could do it again, but,” she fiddled with her fingers and didn’t look up at Dean.

Sarah was wearing a hot pink vest over a white strapped shirt, tight ripped pants and brown leather boots that were mid-calf. She looked fucking hot and since she and Brina, the other twin, wore the same outfits, both of them were looking as good as ever.

“Sarah.” He gave her a few seconds to answer.

“Dean, I have a boyfriend.” Of course she did. He knew where the rest of the conversation was going and he didn’t want to go through the process but she wanted to talk about it. “I WAS going to tell you but you’re really cute, like, REALLY cute, and I got swept up in the moment. But this can’t happen again, like EVER. But I do like you so we can, like, pretend like this never happened. Yeah?”

He didn’t have to think about it and didn’t much care either but he still put on a ‘ _I’ll eventually get over it_ ’ expression as he said, “Yeah,” with a lot of emotion.

“Thank you,” Sarah said with obvious pity before kissing him on the corner of his mouth and walking away.

Dean sat there until she left the cafeteria and let out an immediate sigh of relief. Sarah was a nice girl and she was a pretty good kisser.

But it was nothing compared to Cas.

He left the building and saw Cas and Meg sitting on one of the logs, smiling and laughing. Without thinking about it, Dean walked over and sat next to Cas.

“Hey guys.” They were still laughing about a joke he’d missed.

“Hello Ken,” Meg said as she slowly stopped laughing. Dean forced a smile with a glare.

“Meg.” Cas sounded serious but there still was a ghost of a smile on his lips.

She simply rolled her eyes. “Your boyfriend is too sensitive.” It was Cas’ turn to roll his eyes but Dean could still see the hint of red on his cheeks. He could even feel the rise of heat onto his own cheeks. “Ugh, you’re no fun when Ken’s around.” She stood up and before walking away kissed Cas on the cheek.

He glared at her as she walked towards the bathrooms with a group of girls she had caught up with.

“She was just joking around.”

“I really couldn’t care less.” Dean’s eyes turned to Cas, his eyes looking at the retreating form of Meg. “So what’s up with you?”

“Nothing, why do you ask?” Cas turned his attention to the girls’ cabins across The Pit.

“Because you’re acting weird.”

“And what exactly constitutes as acting weird?”

“The fact that you can’t even look me in the eyes.”

 Cas exhaled in exasperation before letting their eyes meet. Dean smiled and Cas’ mouth twitched in an effort to smile.

“Hi,” Dean said as he moved the slightest bit closer.

“Hi.”

“So, are we gonna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Is there something else to talk about?”

Cas shifted uncomfortably on the log and Dean’s smile turned to a smirk when he saw the blush creep onto Cas’ whole face. “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

 Dean scooted closer as Cas looked around to make sure nobody was around to see. “Of course it’s inappropriate, that’s what makes it even hotter.”

“Dean.”

“I can practically still taste you.”

It was a little funny how Cas went bugged eye and his face got even redder. Dean laughed and, no matter how hard he tried not to, Cas joined in shortly after.

“We shouldn’t be talking about this here.”

“Then where?” His eyes had fallen onto Cas’ lips as he moved the slightest bit closer again, his brain sort of reminding him that people might’ve still been around but the rest of him really not giving a damn.

“Dean.”

“What?” He saw Cas’ lips stretch into a smile and felt his own smile grow but it didn’t last long before Cas moved a little away from him. “See, I told you you were acting weird.”

“Anybody could see you harassing me.”

“Shut up,” Dean laughed but didn’t close the distance again. “But seriously, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing is ‘ _up_ ’ with me.”

“Bullshit.” Cas smiled but it was smaller than the ones before. “Come on, what’s wrong?”

“Why are you so curious on my well-being?” Dean was taken aback by the anger obvious in his tone but, for some reason, he didn’t think it was directed at him. At least he hoped it wasn’t. “There’s nothing wrong with me so why do you insist there is?”

“I just want to make sure that there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Of course there isn’t.”

 Cas shot up from the log and started to make his way towards the bathrooms where the rest of the group was. Dean had to run a little to catch up but Cas was walking fast and it made it hard to keep up. Honestly, why WAS Dean giving so much of a damn about Cas’ feelings?

“Is it because of Sarah?”

“Who the fuck is Sarah?” The way Cas cussed was always a delicacy that shouldn’t have been allowed since it was such a fucking turn on.

“Sarah, one of the twins. Is it because of last night?”

Cas stopped only to glare at Dean. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the one he got when Dean was being ridiculously adorable. “Not all my of my problems are going to revolve around you Dean.”

“It’s because I made out with her last night isn’t it?”

“It isn’t.”

“Good.” Cas was about to walk away again but Dean grabbed his wrist before he got the chance. “Then what’s REALLY wrong?”

“If I knew you were going to be this clingy I would’ve never staid in the basement.”

“Haha. Are you honestly not going to tell me?”

“There’s nothing TO tell.”

Dean dropped Cas’ arm and glanced over at the group. It was a couple feet away and they were all talking amongst each other so Counselor Zach hadn’t yet asked for their attention.

But then his whole body became stiff when he felt warm fingers lightly touch the base of his neck. Dean’s eyes were focused on the group but he couldn’t really process anything as his breathing faltered.

“You only have two hickeys.” He pried his eyes open once he had realized he had closed them.

Dean slowly turned to face Cas, still struggling to breathe correctly. “And this beauty,” he said as he rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip, the small hickey still there, “if you’re counting.”

Cas dropped his hand and looked away but the damage had been done. Dean moved closer, playing with the bottom of Cas’ grey shirt.

“Dean-”

“She had a boyfriend.”

Cas huffed out a laugh. “I would’ve been surprised if she hadn’t.”

Dean smiled, resting his hand on Cas’ hip. “Were you jealous?”

“Of what, exactly?” Cas smiled, his blue eyes glancing from Dean’s eyes to his lips. He hadn’t been lying when he had said he could still taste Cas in his mouth.

“It’s okay if you were.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Okay.”

Dean smirked as his own eyes focused on Cas’ lips. Dean should’ve given Cas a couple of hickeys; they would’ve been a satisfying sight.

“We should meet up with the rest of the group.”

“What for?”

“I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

Cas shoved Dean’s hand away and began to make his way towards the group. Dean smiled as he shamefully checked his ass out. Officer Mills waved him over and he followed Cas a little far behind. He fingered his pack of cigarettes, having been left unopened for two days. The first chance he got, Dean would light up like a Christmas tree. When they reached the back of the group, Dean forced himself to stand a couple of feet away from Cas as to not completely manhandle him.

“Is everyone here? Good.” Counselor Zach was once again wearing his ridiculously small shorts that he seemed to only own. “Guys, you’re coming with me. The girls are going with Mills. Break!”

After some extended goodbyes from those who thought were the reincarnation of Romeo and Juliet, the guys followed behind but kept talking loudly amongst each other.

“What kind of torture do you think they’ll set us up to this time?” Dean said as he played with one of the cigarettes he’d gotten out.

“Who cares, it’ll still be unpleasant.”

“This whole experience is unpleasant.”

Cas chuckled quietly. “I’ll try not to be offended by that.”

Dean bumped their elbows together. “I’d tell you that green isn’t a good color on you but I’d be lying.”

“Shut up.”

Their arms kept bumping together and their fingers would slide against each other more times than not. Dean kept glancing over at Cas every time their fingers touched but Cas kept his eyes trained forward.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at me, thank you.”

“Sorry.” Dean turned away with a ghost of a smile as their fingers kept brushing together. It took everything in him to not link their fingers together because then this situation would become every cliché movie scene ever made. Dean wanted to keep those days as far away as possible.

The rest of the walk was kept quiet between them, stolen glances shared. Dean heard parts of conversations but never fully registered them, he didn’t want to, but instead focused on the trees around them. It was a fresh morning, it always was and the wind rustled the leaves and the bushes. As much as he hated this camp, the scenery was damn beautiful. He tried not to think any of it when he had glanced at Cas with that same thought.  

Counselor Zach led them down a path they hadn’t gone down before and, knowing the guy, Dean got a bit too worried. Dean wasn’t scared of many adults but Counselor Zach definitely set him on edge.

“Where exactly are we going?” Someone from the group asked.

“Patience is a virtue for a reason, now shut it.”

“Seriously Zach, this is sketchy, where the hell are you taking us?” Dean said before Cas elbowed him hard on his side.

Counselor Zach turned to glare at the group, thankfully not directly at him. “If I hear another word from any of you, I’ll make sure you never say another word ever again.”

“That doesn’t sound sketchy at all.” He didn’t think he had said it loud enough but then Cas jabbed his elbow on Dean’s side again and Counselor Zach sported a mean glare. Counselor Zach pointed a meaty finger at him but thankfully didn’t say anything.

The group kept moving forward and Cas slapped his arm hard while he tried his hardest to not laugh, rubbing his aching side.

“Why did you elbow me?”

“Why do you have to do that every time?” Cas whispered furiously.

“I don’t know, maybe because it’s funny?” Cas simply rolled his eyes. Depending on the mood, Dean either found that annoying or the cutest thing ever. It was the better feeling on that particular day. “He’s all bark no bite and besides,” Dean snaked a hand onto Cas’ waist and pulled him close, his nose pressing on Cas’ cheekbone, “you seem like the type that’s into dangerous guys.”

“Are you kidding me?” Cas shoved Dean back as he smirked at the blush on Cas’ cheeks. “Throughout my travels-”

“Your _travels?”_

“I have learned the art of refraining from punching anybody in the face when they said something really, REALLY stupid. What you just said to me, it’s not even on a scale.”

Dean threw his head back in laughter as his hand found Cas’. “You’ve come close enough.”

“Don’t make me break my record.”

“Actually, no, you HAVE punched me. Did you forget or are you choosing to ignore it?”

“That doesn’t count since you were LITERALLY asking for it.”

Dean held onto Cas’ hand for a while, his eyes glancing from Cas’ blue eyes to his pink lips, and for a second forgot that they were around other people. As he started to lean in, Cas squeezed his hand before dropping it. Dean didn’t know to be offended or something when he didn’t see any of Cas get red.

The group kept walking for a while longer until they reached a less dense part of the woods that had obviously seen better days. Beer bottles and red cups lingered the ground and a few empty kegs surrounded the area, some occasionally dripping liquid onto the grass.

“Alright boys, as you can see, over spring break some jackasses thought it’d be a good idea to have a ragger here and they quickly got shut down. Obviously we didn’t get to the cleaning up since we knew we’d be infested with delinquents in the summer.”

“Wait,” Dean had the right idea of moving away from Cas that time, “you’re actually making us clean this mess up?”

“Did you have other plans that this would get in the way of?”

“Well, I mean, I guess I can push it back. Just a couple of minutes, though.”

He heard a couple of guys laugh but when he turned to look at Cas, his fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose. Dean knew Cas didn’t like it when he picked fights but he couldn’t really help it. Feeling a tinge of guilt, he turned his attention back to Counselor Zach, who didn’t look any happier than any other day.

“Are you done Mr. Winchester?”

“Just about.”

Counselor Zach gave him one last warning look before addressing the whole group. “As the smartass said, you WILL be cleaning this crap up since we have better things to do and you have nothing to do.”

“Good argument,” a guy at the far end of the clearing said just loud enough for Counselor Zach to hear.

“You want to be a smartass too? Because believe me, I have ways to quickly get rid of that.”

The guys scoffed but didn’t say anything. “Alright, I’m tired of looking at your faces so,” he shoved a couple of trash bags in the hands of the nearest kid, “everyone get a bag and start picking all this crap up.”

“What does the one who collect most get?” This time, Dean wasn’t joking around but asking a legitimate question that the rest of the guys seemed to be curious about too.

“The satisfaction of knowing you’re less of a dumbass than the rest.”

“That’s it?”

“That should be enough for you.”

Dean tried his hardest not to roll his eyes because he knew Counselor Zach would blow it up and he’d end up having to clean up the entire campsite.

The kid, he must’ve been about 15, gave him the bag without meeting his eyes which was weird because he obviously did something bold to end up there and couldn’t even look people straight. Everyone slowly spread out, most of them either in small groups or by themselves, picking up a piece of trash every now and then so they would be doing something but still slacking around. Cas had immediately broken off from the group and headed in his own direction, unsurprisingly far from the group.

Dean walked over to him, not even bothering to pick up the pieces he passed.

“Hey.” Cas was looking down at the dead twigs and dried leaves that still remained as he nodded in acknowledgement that he had heard Dean. “Let me just tell you; you’d fit in great with those who pick up trash at the side of the road.”

Cas finally looked up and at this point Dean wasn’t surprised to see the look of annoyance. “If that’s your attempt at flirting, let me tell you that you aren’t as smooth as you think.”

He looked back down at the ground, giving Dean the impression that he’d messed up. It wasn’t unusual but Dean knew HOW he’d fucked up before dealing with the consequences.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Something is _clearly_ wrong with you, AGAIN, so what is it?”

Cas shoved another piece a little aggressively into the bag before looking at Dean again. “Why do you always have to be picking fights?” Dean rolled his eyes since he’d gotten that fucking speech more times than he could count. “No seriously, you always have to have the last word no matter who you’re talking to.”

“Cas that was funny! I wasn’t going to attack the guy.”

“With you, it’s never safe to tell.”

That was more than uncalled for. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“See?” Cas smiled without any humor. “You’re always ready to pick a fight.”

“Yeah, mostly when someone just told me I’m a fucking ticking time bomb.”

“I never said that.”

“Might as well have.”

Cas shook his head and even when Dean was fuming and his adrenaline was steadily rising, he could see just how tired Cas was. He turned away from Dean and he had half the mind to leave but then he wouldn’t get his midnight detour and that wasn’t a fucking option. Without the little field trips he wouldn’t survive a day.

It took him a second to collect himself and to get his breathing under control since it had already begun to come in shallow and sharp breathes. He walked beside Cas with the bag hanging from his back pocket since he’d rather die than pick up other people’s fucking messes.

“What time did you leave the cabin yesterday?”

It took Cas a while to answer as he kept crouching to pick up red cups or empty beer bottles. “About 2:30.”

“And you didn’t stop?”

“Of course I did but not to sleep.”

Dean blew out a low whistle, kicking a rock a couple of feet in front of him. “Damn Cas, that’s fucking insane. How the hell can you do it?”

“I can’t really sleep, remember?” He did.  

Cas didn’t meet Dean’s eyes, which was weird but Dean swept that aside. “Hey, I can’t really sleep either.”

Cas nodded as he said, “Because of the nightmares right?”

He’d forgotten Cas knew about his little fits at night and the reminder was humiliating. “Yeah, because of the nightmares.”

“What are they about?”

Now it was Dean’s turn to avoid Cas’ investigating eyes. He could go years without a single nightmare and yet he’d be able to describe every single detail about it in a breath. It was always the same but little things altered through the years. For example, this time Sam was bigger than before and the fire seemed to get to them faster than it possibly could have.

“I don’t remember.”

By the way Cas kept staring at him Dean knew he hadn’t bought it but it didn’t really matter.

“If you don’t want to tell me it’s fine. I was just curious.”

“Why did you burn the farm?” Cas kept staring at Dean but it wasn’t as searching, only the same old glare.

“I told you it wasn’t me.”

“No you didn’t.”

His eyes were intense and Dean was tempted to look away but he stood his ground. At this point they had stopped walking and were obscured from the rest of the group by a couple of thick trees. It was the perfect spot but not exactly the best situation. Just as Dean moved half of an inch closer, Cas shoved past him and started picking up whatever littered the floor instead. Maybe Cas _did_ tell him and Dean just forgot but that meant that Dean hadn’t paid attention to something clearly important to Cas. He was on a roll today.

He moved next to Cas and started to pick up whatever he could find which wasn’t easy since Cas was pretty good at it.

“You’re taking all the good pieces.”

“Maybe you should go somewhere else and look.”

“Cas.” At first it had been cute seeing Cas with a temper but it was getting irritating. “Can you fucking tell me; what’s your damage?”

Cas rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand and sighed out a big breathe. “Nothing.”

“Oh, really?” Dean crouched down so they were at eye level and, more importantly, faces close enough to touch.

“I’m just tired.”

“I can see that.” They were whispering again even though there wasn’t anybody around. “Maybe you should stop running all fucking night then.”

“I’m productive.” Cas glanced at Dean before standing up straight and giving Dean a hand. It was so obviously a reason to hold his hand but the closest he got to the guy the better. “What else would I do?”

Dean held on to his hand like a ridiculously annoying middle-schooler with his first boyfriend but the multiple ideas that swam through his head were nowhere near what he knew back in the days.

Their fingers linked together as his other hand pressed against Cas’ sharp hipbones as he pulled him closer. He checked around them to make sure they were still hidden and, thankfully, they were.

“I got a few ideas.”

Cas smiled, his own fingers playing with the bottom of Dean’s shirt. “You’ve been having a lot of ideas lately.”

“I didn’t hear you complain.”

“There was nothing to complain about.” Their lips were brushing for a couple of seconds, the heat from their breaths tickling. “I’d give you room for improvement.”

“Shut up.” They were still laughing when they kissed, big smiles still plastered on their lips. Dean pulled on Cas’ hips, slowly moving them together to an inexistent rhythm. His right hand was still holding onto Cas’ hand but his left hand slowly moved from Cas’ hips to his chest. Dean could feel Cas’ heartbeat, rapid like his own, and he was glad to know it wasn’t because the guy was having another panic attack.

Cas was still smiling and Dean’s own smile came back when he felt warm fingers press against his hip. His own fingers walked the rest of the distance towards Cas’ collarbone and a memory resurfaced. Dean slowly moved his lips to the edge of Cas’ mouth and down his chin. Cas tilted his head aside and gripped Dean’s hair tightly.

“Anybody can see us,” Cas said in between breathes as he kept grinding their hips together.

“Good,” Dean smiled before lightly pecking Cas’ lips, quickly returning to his neck, “I perform better in front of an audience.” Cas shivered and his fingers clenched and unclenched every time Dean pressed their hips together.

“Dean.” It was a harsh whimper that came from Cas’ lips, pressing against Dean’s ear.

“You’re wind up so tight,” Dean bit the edge of his chin, making Cas shiver once again, “you gotta loosen up.” He let go of Cas’ hand and pressed both of them against his hips. “Otherwise,” he lightly bit a vein and sucked it between his teeth, “I’ll have to make it up later.” He slowly moved his hand somewhere that made Cas squirm. “Maybe in front of a more broad audience.”

Dean kept licking different parts of his neck while still pressing hard on Cas’ groin, making him moan low and hot on Dean’s ear. The hot air was like ecstasy, dizzying and it only made him hungrier. Dean would’ve gotten further, MUCH further, if it wasn’t for the complete turn off that was Counselor Zach’s voice.

“Everybody gather up!”

Dean kept rubbing against Cas’ groin and licking along his very sharp chin. “Dean.”

“What?” Cas’ heavy breathing only elicited more from Dean. He pressed hard once last time, Cas letting out another low moan before Dean finally detached his lips. “Don’t tell me you _actually_ want to join the rest of the dumbasses.”

“It’s not like we actually have a choice.”

Dean smirked before giving Cas one last quick kiss, slapped his ass, and moved to the edge of their hiding spot. He quietly made his way to the opposite side of the clearing as to not make it as suspicious but nobody was really noticing so it wouldn’t have mattered either way.

“Alright,” Counselor Zach didn’t waste any time once he saw everyone gathered around, “we have more important crap to do which we won’t get to if you morons take your sweet time cleaning up. We have to hurry it up if we want to stay on schedule.”

“And wouldn’t it just be tragic if we didn’t.”

“Seriously Winchester, if I hear another word from you-”

Dean raised his hands in surrender because Cas was glaring at him again but he couldn’t take the frown seriously at the moment since he could still see the little bulge from a distance.

Counselor Zach was giving him the death glare but quickly moved along because of his precious schedule. Once again, the group separated and pretty soon the rest of the campsite was cleaned the best the guys could manage but since it was such a short time period, Cas and him didn’t have time to sneak off again which was a disappointment of immense proportion. God, not getting any in a couple of days made him talk like a fucking professor.

They had spent approximately 30 minutes in the clearing before they were off to the next torture planned. Seriously, what else could they force them do at this fucking camp. It was like they were making up stupid scenarios for a cheap plot line.

Once again, they were walking down the trail they had originally gone through but this time it seemed shorter than the first time. Dean and Cas were at the back of the group again but there wasn’t any talking being done. It was a comfortable situation and yet again their fingers brushed against each other but after a couple of minutes, one of them linked their fingers together, the back of their hands pressed against each other.

So much for staying away from cheesy chick flick moments.

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

** Day #5 **

The rest of the day was spent doing meaningless tasks for an asshole who wore clothes a little out of date while Dean kept either staring at him with pervert eyes or touching his ass in inappropriate ways. It wasn’t like he hated it but he hated the setting. He would’ve preferred it to be a little darker, a little more secluded, but other than that, no argument from his side.

They ate lunch together on the dock again and Castiel was a little embarrassed to have already determined it ‘ _their place_ ’ since they had only been there twice and if Dean went through people as he seemed to, they wouldn’t have much lunch meet ups. His little crush made that thought sting like hell.

But it wasn’t even a crush! Somebody was paying some sort of attention to him and he was lonely so of course he was confusing lust with a crush. God, is he pathetic.

By dinner, Castiel had wound himself so tight with all sorts of thoughts that he couldn’t even look over to Dean’s table without feeling something grip his gut.

“-and then I was like, ‘No Chewbacca, you can’t eat my grapes.’” Castiel raised his eyebrow in response to Meg’s glare. “Finally I have your attention.”

“I was paying attention.”

“You were basically in Jupiter for all I know.” Castiel rolled his eyes, bumping his fork against the hard macaroni and cheese. The guys really sucked at making dinner. “Did Ken do something?”

“Who?”

“Your boyfriend, Ken, the guy who keeps manhandling you.”

“Right.”

“Yeah, did he do something?” Castiel didn’t answer. “Did _you_ do something?”

He finally looked up with a forced smile which Meg returned. “Can we stop?” Meg shrugged but didn’t say anything else for a whole minute. “Tonight, I was thinking we could do something.”

Castiel took a bite which he immediately regretted. “Like what?”

“Nothing like what you and Ken get up to.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “Unless you’re up for it.” He actually laughed at that. “What do you say?” It sounded tempting but no matter how much fight he had given Dean on the matter, he had actually already agreed to the sneaking out. He was about to answer, glancing over at Dean because at that point it had become habit, and saw the girl from yesterday (Sarah?) lean in and whisper something into Dean’s ear. _Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?_ Apparently they had both forgotten it. Again, that fucking _crush_ or whateverthefuck hurt like a bitch.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” Castiel was still staring and _Sarah_ was still whispering into Dean’s ear but then Dean and he made eye contact. He was nodding to whatever the hell she was telling him but he still winked at Castiel. “The sooner the better actually.”

“Don’t you go straight to the cabin after dinner? We can do it then.”

The end of dinner couldn’t have come faster even if Castiel had wished on it. He tried his hardest to not look over at Dean but when he did, the guy was having the time of his life. He really knew how to make friends fast.

Again, Castiel was walking out of the cafeteria, Meg having instructed him when to meet her and where, but he was pretty soon joined by none other than Dean.

“So?”

“So,” Castiel answered as casual as he could muster.

“Are we sneaking out tonight or what?”

“You know, I wish we could, but I already made plans.”

Dean scoffed but when he didn’t see Castiel laugh or smile or anything, he got stone serious. “Wait, you’re serious? With who?”

“Does it matter?” It was more than amusing seeing Dean suspicious and jealous at the same time. “I mean, we can sneak off whenever, so does it really matter?”

“Hell yeah it matters!” Dean was getting flustered and it was stirring something in the depths of Castiel’s gut. “I mean,” he was shaking his arms around and avoiding at all costs eye contact, “you’ve been nothing but a tease all damn day and  the least you could do-”

“The _least_ I could do?” Suddenly, he didn’t feel _as bad._

Dean was clearly going to say something else but Dean patted his arm and walked away. “Like I said. Tease!”

Castiel waited in the cabin 15 minutes, making sure everyone was engrossed in their conversation before finally heading out unnoticed. Hopefully Dean was distracted to not notice but a part of Castiel wished he did. Maybe then something would change.

 _What, Castiel, would change exactly?_ That kind of brought him down.

The walk to the Port was peaceful, quiet besides the sounds of nature and the occasional far away sound of laughter from the camp fire, something he was used to. Sometimes, Castiel was too focused on the running, on distracting himself from everything around him, that he even distracted himself from the true beauty around him.

It was chilly but he didn’t miss his jacket and he actually liked the cold. It was soothing and preferable over the heat of the days.

“Hey!” Meg was a little too excited to see him but Castiel smiled at her enthusiasm.

“Hi.”

“For a second, I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“I like to not disappoint.”

“Of course,” Meg said with a wink.

He joined her on the small boat docked in the middle of the room. Meg reached out and the boat wobbled for a second but then Castiel was safely sitting across from her, her face hidden within shadow since her back was to the open end of the Port and the moonlight.

“So what are we doing here?”

“I’ll give you a clue.”

His reflexes made him stretch out his hand, catching a pack of cigarettes. He scoffed because they were the same brand Dean used, having seen the edge of the pack from his back pocket when he didn’t have his jacket.

“I don’t smoke.”

“There’s always a first time for everything.” He tossed the pack back. “Fine, suite yourself.” Meg’s face was temporarily illuminated by the light of the lighter but then it was gone. “You know Clarence, there something about your seriousness that’s intimidating yet sexy.”

Castiel laughed as he rubbed his hands together. “I’ve never heard that before.”

“Is it because you’re generally serious or what?”

“I don’t know.” He rubbed his face. “I think today I’m just in a bad mood.”

Silence filled the port. Castiel’s eyes followed the light glow of the cigarette and, for a second, was tempted to ask for one but he shook that thought out of his head.

“You can tell me what Ken did.”

He laughed. “ _Dean_ didn’t do anything, I already told you that.” Before he could stop himself, he said, “and that’s kind of the problem.”

Meg grunted in acknowledgement but took a drag before answering. “I see what’s going on, you want Ken to be your boyfriend.”

“What?”

“Castiel has a crush,” Meg sang and Castiel could feel himself going red.

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do!” He rolled his eyes but he was positive his entire face was red. Thank god it was dark though. “No, I get it; little orphan boy starts to get attention so he gets overly attached to people. It makes sense.”

The logic behind it made sense. “Yeah,” Dean was merely giving him some sort of temporary comfort but it would be over soon enough, “yeah, I think that’s it.” That meant Castiel DIDN’T have a crush. As soon as he left and didn’t see Dean ever again, he would be confused as to what he ever saw in the guy.

Castiel was always looking for something permanent since he was used to everything leaving him eventually but Dean wasn’t that. Dean wasn’t something permanent, that was obvious, but Castiel’s naïve mind latched on to the thought of ANYONE being permanent. Honestly, maybe not even Jody was there for the long run. Either way, Castiel had to detach himself from Dean, separate his feelings from the fact that they were simply having some summer fun that would only last the summer.

Meg, bless her, kept talking about whatever else, taking Castiel’s thoughts away from Dean and everything else. He didn’t return until after everyone was in their cabin. Castiel was pretty sure everyone was asleep but as soon as he laid down, he heard someone scoff. He tried not to think too much of it but, of course, he smiled at the thought that Dean had stayed up waiting for him to return.


	6. Chapter 6

** Monday, May 4th **

Pamela had handed him a composition notebook when he walked into her office that afternoon and told him to write down the ‘lesson.’ The empty cup of coffee sat on the coffee table as Dean scribbled down random words and drew little pictures that ended up being cruder than he had intended. Pamela had yet to speak and Dean was still writing in the notebook, quickly realizing that he was writing a song. Immediately he closed the notebook and placed it besides him.

It was their usual routine; Pamela was sitting up straight on her arm chair with her notepad on her lap, Dean staring her down, sitting on the edge of the couch with hands clasped together.

“How are you Dean?”

“They made a Smashburger a couple blocks from the shop so I’d say I’m relatively happy.”

“And how are your grades?”

“I’m passing every class.”

“From what I’ve heard, you’re barely passing.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yes.” Dean knew where the conversation was heading and already he was pissed. He fell back on the couch and reopened the notebook, aimlessly drawing. “Dean, barely passing isn’t acceptable.”

“Why? Because I don’t meet the standards you assholes have set up for me?”

“No, because you’re not meeting your full potential.” There it was again, the fucking _potential_ line. Who do these fuckers think they are to set the bar so high up anyway?

Dean didn’t justify the statement with an answer, instead focusing on the drawing he had started on his paper. The image made no sense at the moment because all he could think about was the angry red fire burning within his brain that was quickly consuming him. It was so easy to get lost in the red and forget to breathe. He was trying to calm down, focusing on his breathing as he tried to make it normal, but it was hard to do so when he heard Pamela’s pen writing on the paper.

“Dean, if you’re up to it, want to try an exercise?”

It was a smooth smile but the sarcasm was still obvious. “Awe, thanks Pam but I’m sure teacher-student relationships aren’t allowed.”

She laughed but put her notepad on the table. “Come on, it’ll be easy.”

Dean closed the notebook and with fake enthusiasm clapped his hands. “Oh boy, what kind of activity?”

Pamela was smiling but it was so clearly forced he was already feeling better. “I can do without the sarcasm.”

Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance, afterward smiling with no humor. “Alright, what kind of activity?”

“Open the notebook to an empty page.” He did as he was told and rested it on the coffee table, waiting for whatever bullshit instructions were about to come. “First, write out a list of things that make you happy.”

Dean laughed at the ridiculous request because, come on, that’s such a cliché therapist move. “And what the hell is that going to do?”

“You’ll see once we’re done, now write down your list.” He sighed but picked up his pen to make it seem like he would play along and then just hit it against his chin in a rhythmic beat. He did that for about three minutes, effectively irritating Pamela. “Dean-”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking.” Like hell did he want to write anything but he didn’t want to spend more time there than he had to so he decided on just sucking it up and making the fucking list. “Alright.”

He began to write but then was rudely interrupted by Pamela. “Can you read them aloud as you write them, please?”

He forced a smile. “Of course.” He finished writing the word before saying it out loud. “My, uh, my brother is one.” It took him a while to think for the second one. “Uh, working at the auto shop, I guess… They can be anything, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then, masturbating and having sex. Those make me super happy.” Pamela tried to hide her smile as she nodded. “I guess… taking my brother out for food… uh, playing my guitar… driving around with my brother… eating food… uh, I think that’s it.”

“Good, that was a good list. Now-”

“What, you want me to make a list of things that make me sad?” When Pamela didn’t say anything, he rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Seriously? I fucking have to make a list for that too?”

“Not necessarily what makes you sad but whatever makes you feel anything but happy.”

The activity just got a lot more annoying than it initially was but, again, the faster he answered the faster he’d leave.

“Okay, these sessions, they annoy me. Also, you haven’t been on my top five lately so.”

“Anything else?”

“Uh, I guess it wouldn’t be a true hate list if Gordon wasn’t on the list. Um, I think…” Many things popped up in his head but just thinking about it pissed him off immediately. He was already starting to lose his temper and before he could stop himself he threw the pen and started pacing around in frustration. “I don’t understand the purpose of this fucking bullshit activity! What the hell is this fucking list going to do with helping my ‘ _anger issues_ ’? I’m not going to sit around making lists about stupid crap because this shit doesn’t matter!”

“It does matter, Dean.”

“Yeah, you’re supposed to say that, otherwise you wouldn’t have a fucking job.”

“Dean, please calm down and sit.”  He sat down but he was far from being calm. “The point of making the list is to determine everything that makes you mad so when you are mad, you don’t take it out on the wrong people.” He was shaking his head, not being able to calm down his breathing in the least. “Dean, what if one day Gordon says something that gets you mad, even more than you are right now, and you take it out on Sam again?” That was the one thing that worried him the most, honestly, and it was the one thing he feared the most. “What if something happens and you can’t work at the auto shop because you’re just so frustrated?”

“Pam-”

“I need you to think about the things that make you so mad so you know who you are mad at and you don’t get mad at the wrong person, that’s all I’m trying to say.” The whole Sam thing brought him down a notch but he was still a little irritated. “And the happy list may be some things you can do to calm down when you’re mad. If I make you mad, for example, maybe playing the guitar will help you and then you’ll be able to hang out with Sam without worrying him.”

That was able to bring him down the rest of the way. He took a few deep breathes before picking up the pen that was a few feet away from the coffee table and placing the tip on the page.

“When my dad drinks, that pisses me off. When someone mentions my, uh, my mom… that’s why I got suspended last year.”

“I heard you beat up that kid pretty bad.”

“Surprisingly enough, they didn’t think I needed to see you when that happened.”

“What else? Anything that scares you?”

There weren’t a lot of things but there was that one fucking thing that just scared him shitless. Maybe talking about it would help him get over it but he couldn’t bring himself to say it, instead closing the notebook and hiding his face between his hands. Pam at least had the decency to not make him say more.

** Saturday, June 13th **

To say that Dean could barely contain himself the day before would be short from an understatement. Of course Zach had given them an annoying job to do but the thought of today had been enough to pull him through the day with a minimum of snarky comments.

And to add to his already good mood, Cas and he were able to get some good time alone. Lately, Cas had been spending a lot of alone time with Meg and it wasn’t like he was worried. Okay, MAYBE he was but it was only because Dean’s fuck buddy wasn’t at the ready for whenever Dean wanted to have fun. That was the only reason why.

The mood was only spoiled by the nightmare that woke him up in the middle of the night but he was able to sleep it off quick enough.

He’d woken up earlier than what he was used to but it was more than called for that day. Even though Sam wasn’t going to be able to see him, Dean wanted to get ready for his phone call. God, it’s like they’re prisoners. He pulled out his outfit for the day from his duffel and quietly made his way to the door, stopping a foot away from it.

Cas was sleeping face down, his peaceful face pointed towards Dean. It was the only time he had seen Cas so calm, without his eyebrows scrunched up in a glare and it was a look that suited him. His breathing was quiet, coming every few seconds that Dean counted. If he was being honest to himself, Dean could’ve stayed there for as long as Cas remained sleeping but, probably sensing his presence, Cas scrunched his nose and began to shift. Dean headed towards the shower, a little worried about the route his thoughts had taken but a quick cold shower fixed him right up.

When he was already leaving the bathrooms, the crowd was making its way towards them. His hair was still dripping wet but the hot sun would dry it soon enough. He was walking towards the cafeteria when his eyes landed on Meg and Cas who were once again sitting on the log and laughing about something. The whole damn week they’d been meeting up in the mornings. Did neither of them need to get ready or at least brush their fucking teeth?

“Hey, Cas.” Both of them seemed to not have heard him. “Cas.” Again, they kept laughing. What the hell was so funny? “Cas!” They finally acknowledged him, Cas raising an eyebrow in question. “We, um, have to set up breakfast remember?”

Both of them stared at him long enough for him to become uncomfortable before Meg finally got up to leave but before doing so leaned in to whisper something into Cas’ ear. “With this behavior, I say you have nothing to worry about.”

Cas’ eyes shot towards Dean who of course heard since Meg didn’t really try to be discreet about it. He could already see the red in Cas’ cheeks so it must’ve been something he didn’t want Dean to hear which, of course, pissed him off. Were they talking about him when he wasn’t around?

Meg kissed Cas on the cheek, something she always seemed to do, before heading towards the restrooms. Cas got up with the blush still covering half his face as he started walking alongside Dean towards the cafeteria.

“So,” no need to beat around the bush, “talking about me on the side?”

“Of course not.” Dean rolled his eyes so hard he got kind of dizzy. “She does the talking and I do the listening.”

“And what the hell does _she_ have to say about me?”

“Well, the name Ken comes up the most but she mostly just tells me to blow you off and to hang out with her.”

Dean tried to be mad since other people talking about him, especially Meg, didn’t just rub off him but the words that had come out of Cas’ mouth really did something to him. “Really? Did she really say that?” Cas looked confused and Dean was more than happy to elaborate. “Did she really say to blow me off?”

Being the only response Cas had to anything Dean said, he rolled his eyes but Dean could still see the smile Cas tried to hide.

Breakfast was literally the easiest thing to set up so 12 of the guys went to sit at their tables with their bowls of cereal already in hand.

“Hey,” Dean called after Cas, “why don’t you sit with me while the rest of group gets here?” Cas raised an eyebrow which was a reasonable reaction. “Or not.” Cas was nowhere near as confused as Dean was but the embarrassment was obviously mutual.

What the actual fuck was up with him? First, he watches the guy sleep and then he gets (dare he admit it?) _jealous_ when he sees him with Meg. As much as he hated considering it, maybe spending so much time with the guy was messing him up and a good idea would be to dial it back a bit. He got out his pack and placed a cigarette in his mouth before remembering that he couldn’t have that shit in there so he hastily shoved them back in his pocket. Without the distraction of smoking, Dean’s thoughts began to spiral.

Dean appreciated, encouraged, _looked forward to_ , his meet ups with Cas since they were the highlights of his day. A good make out sessions and some hand work always cheered him up but he wasn’t used to seeing the person so much afterwards. That must be it; since he was stuck in the same place with the guy, seeing him literally every second of the day, was confusing his brain. Dean would have to start limiting their contact.

He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the people already sitting around him. They began to talk as soon as they sat down and Dean appreciated the distraction, Sarah immediately sitting almost on top of him. Did this girl only remember she had a boyfriend when it was past 8:00 pm?

Breakfast was excruciatingly slow but 10 minutes before it was officially over Dean had already made his way to The Pit to wait. Yesterday they had announced that as soon as people were done with their breakfast they could go to the Big House to make their calls and like hell were people going to get there before Dean.

More than anything, he wanted to smoke. He was suddenly anxious and a cigarette would’ve really helped him out. Dean looked around to make sure no one was around but as soon as he was about to pull out the one he had left earlier, Officer Mills came out from the Big House. He sprang from the log and ran towards the front door where she held it opened.

“Mr. Winchester, wanting to make a call?”

 “Yes, please.” They both seemed to be surprised by his sudden politeness but she thankfully had the courtesy to not mention it.

“It’s the first door to the right.” Dean began to make his way towards the room. “Remember, you only get 30 minutes.”

The room was dusty, just like every other room in the House, but this room had bookshelves stacked with books. It wasn’t like any of it mattered since Dean already had the smelly phone pressed to his ear as he dialed his home number. The three rings were painful to hear but the payoff was better than any fucking cigarette.

“Dean?” Sammy’s happy squeak was enough to make him laugh with pure happiness.

“Hey bud.”

“It’s so good to hear from you. I thought your big mouth would’ve for sure gotten you killed by now.”

Dean let out another laugh. “Good to hear from you too Sam.”

“So tell me about the camp, is it cool?”

“Yeah, total paradise, but what about you? How’s your summer been so far?”

“Hell. I mean, I’ve hung out with some friends but I’d rather spend it with my brother.”

His chest ached with guilt. “I know bud, believe me, I don’t want to spend it hear with these dickwads either. But trust me, I’ll be home before you know it.”

“I hope so. Have you made any friends?”

Dean rolled his eyes but his big smile was still plastered on his face. “Yeah _mom_ , I’m friends with everyone here!”

“Shut up dick, I’m being serious.”

Cas was the first person to pop up in his head. Technically, they ARE friends but had the benefits of other things. “Yeah, one.”

“More than what I expected.”

They both laughed. Hearing his little brother’s laugh was something he didn’t know he needed until now.

“Hey, where’s Dad?”

“His working today. With you gone the whole summer, he had to pick up some extra shifts.” Dean knew that, his dad had made it pretty clear when he’d left. “And before you ask, no he hasn’t been drinking.”

“And how do you know that?” It came out more aggressive than he had intended.

“Dean, he can actually control himself.” He huffed out a laugh. “Let’s talk about something else, we only have thirty minutes remember?”

“Right, okay.”

“Who’s the guy your friends with?”

“How do you know it’s a guy?”

“Because Dean Winchester isn’t friends with girls.”

 _True._ “Uh, it’s this guy who has even more issues than I do so we can sort of stand each other.”

“What’s his name?”

“Why the sudden interest?”

“Come on Dean, I want to know that Dad and I have nothing else to worry about.”

“And knowing the name of a guy you’ll never meet helps how?”

“Dean-”

“Fine, his name is Castiel.”

“Why is he there?”

“He set a barn on fire.” _It wasn’t him._

“Damn, he _does_ have more issues than you.”

“I told you.”

“What about girls? What’s her name?”

“Why do you assume there’s a girl?”

“Because Dean Winchester doesn’t HAVE friends.”

He laughed. God, he missed his brother.

Twenty minutes had gone past in a matter of words but Dean wasn’t done catching up with his brother, not by a long shot.

“So, have you heard from that girl you were telling me about? What’s her name…? Jess?”

“Um,” Dean smiled, knowing full well that Sam was blushing and playing with whatever was around him, “not, not really.”

“Have you guys not talked since school ended?”

“Not that I remember.” He wiped his face but Dean wasn’t mad like he would’ve been, he was just glad to still be able to hear Sam’s failed conquests from miles away. “Can we please talk about something else? Tell me more about the camp.”

“What do you need to know about it?”

“Is it pretty, how big it is, the girl of the week, something like that.”

“There’s no girl, I told you.”

“So what, you just hang out with, uh, Castiel all day and j _ust_ hang out?”

“If that’s what the kids are calling it these days, sure we _hang out._ ”

“What do you- oh, Dean! See I told you, Dean Winchester doesn’t have friends!”

“He IS my friend but I get the benefits as a bonus.” Sam heaved out a heavy breath from the other line. “And I have other GUY friends and GIRL friends that aren’t Cas.”

“Oh really? Like who?” Dean started thinking it but it took him too long to answer because, _wow, do I really not have friends?_ “See, I told you.”

“Shut up. And why does it bother you how many friends I do or don’t have?”

“I don’t want to see your face after they give you an ass kicking because you had no one to keep you out of trouble.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Thanks, _mom._ And Cas does that plenty, trust me.” Zach came in, his fingers firmly pressed on the face of the watch. “Sammy, I gotta go.”

“Already?”

“I know, but next week I’ll call, hopefully at the same time.”

“Okay, do you want me to tell dad something?”

“Uh,” Zach cleared his throat loudly, “um, yeah tell him that, um, I miss him I guess.”

“You’re gonna break my heart Dean.”

“Keep yourself out of trouble.”

“You too.”

He was about to put the phone down but Zach yanked it out of his hand and put it back where it belonged. “Time’s up.”

 _No shit._ He walked out of the room, people already lined up against the wall but there was only one person missing.

“Hey,” he walked over to a small group, Meg looking away from her conversation with an annoying smirk.

“I knew you’d eventually come around.”

Dean pretended to gag and smirked at Meg’s annoyed expression. “Where’s Cas?”

“How should I know? He was YOUR boyfriend first.”

He rolled his eyes and started to walk away when he heard Meg call after him. “Last I saw, he was walking towards the Shed.” He didn’t thank her but waved a hand above his head to signal her that he had heard.

A part of him was worried that Cas had taken off but he wanted to be optimistic. With every step that he got closer to the Shed, the more he strained his ears to hear anything that could help him find Cas. Nobody was inside the Shed and from what he could see, there was nothing among the woods. _Cas, where the hell are you?_ He walked around the building and was a little too relieved to see Cas sitting against the cabin.

He was resting his head against the hardwood, eyes closed as a cigarette hanged from his mouth.

“I thought you didn’t smoke,” he said as he sat down next to Cas, who didn’t even move.

“Today’s an exception.”

“Is that one from my pack?”

“No.” Somebody was clearly not in the mood to talk.

“Are you not going to call anyone?”

“The only one I’d call would be Jody and she’s working right now.”

Dean didn’t want to ask because it was all he ever said but it felt like the right question at the moment. “You okay?”

Cas smiled and took the cigarette between his fingers. “Not every time you ‘check up on me’ will there be something wrong.”

“Sorry, it just looked like something was up.”

“Are you going to smoke or what?”

Dean smiled and took out his pack, lighting up quickly. For a while they sat there saying nothing and without that nagging sensation that they _should_ be talking, but instead just enjoying the light breeze that shook the leaves and soaking in whatever sunshine filtered in through the trees. He could definitely see what Cas was able to appreciate in being in the woods, far from anyone or anything. Just thinking of this peaceful moment and comparing it to when Cas punched him a few feet from there was enough to make him laugh. Cas didn’t ask but Dean could see him from the corner of his eye and he was smiling. It felt nice, hanging out, far from anyone that could hear them, just the two of them, and not only thinking about jumping on the guy but actually just hanging out.

He turned his head towards Cas, a smile immediately forming his mouth. Cas still had his eyes closed, the cigarette on the ground, his black hair a mess that moved with the breeze. Dean appreciated that the guy was wearing a tight gray shirt that fit him oh so perfectly but when he started to make his way down Cas’ tan arm, he saw their fingers intertwined. How had he not noticed that they’ve been holding hands for who knows how long?

 Dean was still staring at their hands even when Cas spoke. “Who did you call, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“My, uh,” he took away his hand to reach for his cigarette, “my brother.”

“Sam, right?” Cas had opened his eyes and turned his head, crossing his arms and effectively erasing the weirdness.

“Yeah, good memory.” He was trying to get rid of the weird feeling that had settled in his stomach but no matter how many drags he took it was still there so, instead, he threw the cigarette in front of him and stomped it with his boot.

Cas had closed his eyes again and Dean, without really meaning to, watched him breathe again. He didn’t have the creases on his face again and there was a ghost of a smile almost there, enough to make Dean wonder what he was thinking about.

“Stop staring at me.”

It took him a while to realize that he was, in fact, staring at him.

“Sorry.” _WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?_ Dean was doing some weird boyfriend crap which wasn’t at all like him and yet he’s holding the guy’s hand as if they were dating which THEY ARE NOT. The day that he was stuck in a committed relationship was hopefully still far ahead of him. “So what about you?”

“What a _bout_ me?”

“You know way more about me than I know about you.” _Good job, Dean! To distract yourself from thinking about Cas, you should ask Cas questions about Cas to learn more about Cas. Great thinking._

“What do you want to know about me?” Cas turned his head again to face Dean and he was smiling, this cute little thing that he was obviously trying to hide but was failing miserably.

“I don’t know.” He was blushing, he knew he was and it was fucking horrible. “Forget it.” Talking to Sam had really fucked him up and made him all weak and emotional.

“No,” Cas moved to face Dean more fully with eager energy, “no, ask me stuff.”

“You seem really excited to spill your guts.”

“Yeah, well,” Cas looked down at the ground and Dean’s heart fell the tiniest bit, “I’ve never had someone to share ANYTHING with,” it fell a couple feet but it was still not fully into oblivion, “it’s just nice to have a friend.”  His heart fell the rest of the way, giving him this desire to take away the look of sadness that had settled on Cas’ features.

Dean shifted closer, his legs on Cas’ right side, “I can ask anything right?”

“You can ask anything.” Dean opened his mouth. “It can’t be about the barn though.” Dean closed his mouth.

He had to think about it for a second and since he didn’t want to scare Cas from letting him ask questions, he figured that he should start off simple. “Where were you born?”

“Seattle.”

“How did you end up in Colorado?”

“Someone left me at a Fire Station at the age of one.”  Suddenly, asking these questions didn’t seem as fun anymore. He could just imagine baby Cas alone and defenseless just waiting for someone to find him and take care of him. “What about you?”

“I was born in Kansas.” Cas nodded as he scooted closer, making Dean feel obligated to elaborate. “Well when my…” Even after all these years, he couldn’t think about it without the lump forming in his throat _._ “When my mom died my dad drove us out of the state but he didn’t get that far before Sam and I started complaining so he decided to just settle for Colorado.”

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

“I’m sorry about your fire station.” Cas huffed out a laugh. Dean looked down to see that, yet again, they were holding hands. He let the warmness of Cas seep into his hand for a while but the sign that flashed _WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?_ appeared again and he removed his hand, resting his arms on his propped up knees instead.

Thinking about it, it was fucking ridiculous that Dean was freaking out over holding the guy’s hand but he was perfectly fine giving him a blowjob in the basement of a dusty house with anyone being able to walk in on him.

“How long ago did your mom die?”

“Uh, I don’t remember the exact day, but it was around when I was four.” That was pile of bullshit. Dean knew the exact day when his mother died, the nightmares didn’t let him forget it.

He knew he was getting emotional and he hated it because it’d been long enough for him to get used to it and he had mentioned it enough to Pamela that he shouldn’t get so emotional about it but there he was, about to break down once again.

Dean would’ve sunken into his own thoughts but then Cas put his hand on his shin which somehow was really soothing and even though the sign of _what the fucks are you doing?_ popped up again, he let it rest there.

“Hey,” he looked up to see Cas’ shy smile, the lump in his throat not choking him as much, “would an embarrassing story help?”

He huffed out a laugh. “Sure, lay it on me.”

“This one time, when I ran away from my maybe third foster home, I was invited to a party. Everyone was doing hardcore drugs and I knew absolutely no one there and I panicked and I stole their cat.”

It took Dean’s brain a second to catch up but when it did, he was laughing hysterically with no sign of stopping. “What the fuck Cas!” His sides hurt, Cas laughing sheepishly in embarrassment, and when they both tried to regain their composure, one look at the other would send them into another laughing spasm.”

“And what the fuck did you do with it?”

“I kept her a day or so and then left her outside the girl’s house. Hopefully she found her.” Dean threw his head back again as another wave of hysterical laughter hit him. He could just imagine the guy at the party and suddenly an animal is missing. They both laughed until they were wiping away tears and trying hard to regain their breath.

“At least it’s not as bad as this one time that I was at this girl’s house and we were seconds from getting into it when her parents got home.”

“Dean, you didn’t steal an animal from the house of someone you didn’t even know.”

“Yeah, that’s true BUT I ran out of the house in such a hurry that I forgot my clothes.”

He was able to see the smile of disbelieve creep onto Cas’ lips. “No…”

“You may have stolen a cat but I had to call my dad and tell him to pick me while I was covering my naked ass with a shirt.”

“Oh God.” Cas laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Wait, you didn’t have your clothes but you _did_ have your phone?” Dean shrugged because he himself had wondered that multiple times.

For a while they sat there laughing and just letting the knowledge that they were both dumbasses sink in and he was looking at Cas’ hand still on his hands and the feeling in his stomach settled in deeper. There was a part of him that wanted to take away his hand again but it felt… nice.

God he was never talking to anyone after talking to Sam again.

“Yeah, my dad wasn’t too happy with me.” Cas patted his hand before letting it drop to the ground and it took Dean some effort to hide the disappointment. “I have another question for you, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.”

“Jody – Officer – Mills, you said she was a family friend but…”

“How is she a family friend if I don’t have a family?”

“Well when you say it like that, it sounds rude.”

Cas huffed out a laugh. “Well, the first time I ran away, she was the one that found me.” He started playing with his hands and Dean wanted to do nothing but hold the guy- NOPE! Dean would only allow himself to feel bad for the guy but nothing else. He wasn’t doing the boyfriend crap. “We talked while at the station and as she put it,” Cas continued, “she ‘saw potential in me’ so she’s been helping me and after some convincing, I was able to come to this camp.”

“I’m glad she was able to pull it off.” _Where the FUCK did that come from?_ The look on Cas’ face was obvious that they were both thinking the same thing. He tried at a charming smile but it came out weird and awkward which only extended the weirdness of the moment.

 “Anyway,” Cas said, obviously trying to change the subject, “she’s been there for me ever since.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“She is.”

Just then, a whistle could be heard from the distance, piercing the silence that had settled between the two. Cas got up and just when Dean was going to get up too, Cas extended a hand out to him and without really thinking about it, he took it. They patted themselves down before leaving, Dean pulling out his pack knowing full well that it would be the last time he would be able to smoke in the day. He offered one to Cas but he just shook his head.

“So it really WAS a one-time thing then?” He placed the pack back into his back pocket and shoved his hands into his front pockets just in case there was more unintentional hand holding.

“I told you, I don’t smoke.”

“Why DID you smoke earlier?” Cas dropped his gaze. “Hey,” he bumped against him and in turn earned a small smile but it was too small to be satisfying.

“I didn’t want to overthink so I wanted to distract myself.”

It seemed reasonable enough so he decided not to push the subject. Since Cas showered him with sadness earlier with his backstory, Dean completely understood why he wouldn’t want to be around those totally excited to talk to their loved ones. They were walking close to each other but, thankfully, Dean still had his hands in his pocket but because he could sense the sad emanating from Cas, he slid out his hand carefully and awkwardly cupped Cas’ hand.

Cas looked at him with a raised eyebrow and, again, it made sense since Dean was once again holding his hand with his cheeks flushed red. One thing was giving each other some happy action while doing laundry and another thing was fucking holding hands while walking through the woods on a warm, summer day. His goal of being far away from the cheesy chick flick moments was being thrown out the window in a matter of seconds.

It was awkward for a second but then Cas intertwined their fingers tightly, bringing with it the weird feeling in Dean’s stomach again. Dean would just have to accept it as a part of his life at this point since it seemed to have made a home within him.

Once they could see the camp, Dean dropped Cas’ hand and moved a little away from the guy so to not give anyone ideas. Almost everyone was already gathered around the Pit but a couple small groups came from the lake and/or the cafeteria and nobody, thankfully, paid them much attention. They sat together on an empty log and waited for whatever instructions Zach was about to say.

“Alright, everyone listen up.” Officer Mills came out of the Big House, still in her uniform. “We’re doing something a little different today which everyone will participate in.” She was holding onto a stack of white print paper that she handed to the kid nearest her, motioning him to pass it along. “Everyone will get a piece of paper and a pen to use for this activity.”

“What are we doing?” one of the girl’s that Dean saw hang out with Meg asked.

“Everyone is going to spread out around the camp, far from everyone else, and you will write down the answer to this question: ‘What do want to get out of this experience?’” There were some kids that laughed and Dean was one of them. That was such a ridiculous question to answer that could have been covered in at least three sentences, easy. “And I know what you’re thinking, that you’ll be good with writing three crappy sentences but the minimum is half the page.” Groans and angry comments suddenly filled the air but then Counselor Zach was blowing on his whistle angrily, silencing everyone.

“Officer Mills put a lot of work and effort into this activity so everyone will shut up and pay attention!”

Everyone was trying hard not to laugh and even Cas was trying not to smile.

“Thank you Counselor Zach,” Mills said with a deep glare, “anyway, this is going to be an hour long activity that I expect you will take seriously. Now, everyone spread out within eye sight and as far as possible from everyone else.”

Dean got up, his piece of paper already creased but it wasn’t like it mattered.

“Well, I’ll see you in an hour,” Cas said as he began to walk away.

“Try not to miss me too much.” _Fucking hell Dean!_

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

And with that, Cas walked towards the dock which was the farthest anyone could’ve gone from the Pit, leaving Dean to sit by a rock, resting his back against the cold surface. What the fuck was he going to do for a whole hour? This was going to be such a fucking waste of time which was good since then he wouldn’t have to clean up after anybody.  After having all the meetings with Pamela, Dean was used to writing bullshit things so this would be a piece of cake that he’ll be able to pull off.

So for a while, he sat there pretending to write and looking at Cas, his legs dangling from the edge of the dock. While alone, Dean could at least admit to himself that a part, a big part, of him had enjoyed all the hand holding that had been done and sort of kind of missed it. Sam was going to get an ass kicking when he got home. How dare he make Dean all mushy and acting like a fucking boyfriend?

 

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

** Day #7 **

Castiel had spent 50 minutes thinking of the fucking hand holding that had happened between him and Dean. What the hell did that mean? He was sure that he was over thinking the situation but then again maybe he wasn’t. 

This is why Castiel didn’t let himself get attached but there he was, getting attached.

For the last 10 minutes, he wrote down a very extended version of “I hope to find a reason to not run away.” Jody would accept it since it answered the question but he should expect to have a talk with her.

He turned in his paper to Counselor Zach and once everyone had turned in their paper, Castiel and three other guys began to assemble lunches which, again, were sandwiches. They’d been eating sandwiches for the entire week but Castiel liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so he didn’t mind and not only that but Dean and him kept eating together by the dock. It only made his little crush worse but he was an idiot so he let it happen.

“What did you write about?” Dean asked with a mouthful of ham sandwich.

“I just said that I hoped to find a reason not to run away.”

“Wow, Cas, that’s so deep.” Castiel rolled his eyes but he was smiling when he took a bite of his sandwich. “No, really, look,” Dean extended his arm out in front of Castiel, “I got goose bumps how deep that was.”

 “Shut up,” he shoved Dean lightly but the other swayed like it had been harder. “It was enough to get Jody off my back.”

“Oh my, I didn’t know Castiel had a dark side. That’s sexy new information.”

He rolled his eyes again before taking another bite. “What about you?”

“I hope I find myself in this camping experience, just take a good look at myself and determine who I am as a person.” Castiel laughed a little but he stopped when he saw Dean’s serious face. “What’s so funny?”

“Are you joking or are you being serious?”

“I’m being serious Cas, I want to explore every bit of myself to see how I can better improve as a person.”

“Then I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Dean lifted his soda up to his lips, “and in the process maybe explore every bit of you too.” Castiel punched his arm but he could feel his face going red. God, why did he have to say things like that? “Damn Cas, I was kidding… for the most part.”

“And to think, we were having an actual conversation not 2 hours ago.”

“We’re still having one now!” Castiel put his unfinished sandwich down which Dean gingerly picked up and began to eat. “Want to ask each other questions again?”

That could be a little dangerous. When Dean had told Castiel that his mother had died, and the amount of emotion Dean had put on the line with it, he had seen a whole new side of the guy. Knowing more about Dean was only making his crush bigger and Meg said that she thought Dean might like him too and yeah, with all the hand holding there was the possibility that she might be right but still. Castiel’s biggest worry was that because his crush got bigger and he went on the horrible lead that Dean might _maybe_ like him too, Castiel would do the stupid thing to put his feelings out in the open only for Dean to shoot him down, ending their friendship as well as humiliating himself in the process.

“Cas?”

 He took a long drink of his soda before shaking his head. “I think we covered the basic information for right now.”

“Okay?”

Castiel needed to keep this like Dean saw it; they were just fooling around for the summer, nothing more and nothing less. “How about we sneak out tonight?”

Dean laughed but when Castiel didn’t join, he almost chocked on the bite he had taken. “Wait, are you serious?”

“You’ve been begin me this whole week and now you don’t want to?”

“No,” Dean crossed his legs and turned to face Castiel better, “I do, I do want to sneak out.”

“Then let’s do it tonight.”

“Okay.”

Dean was leaning in close and Castiel wanted to do it, wanted to close the distance and just kiss him, kiss the huge smile on Dean’s lips, but he didn’t want to risk it so he instead faced the lake and drank the rest of his soda, trying not to show just how scared he was. Castiel knew goddamn well that he was getting attached and he knew that it would bite him in the ass later on but he didn’t care, not right now, because right now he had someone, which not many foster homes provided. He was scared because he was letting himself be vulnerable with someone who had the advantage of breaking him but he was letting it happen. He was letting it happen like an idiot who couldn’t care less.

 

 **ܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔܛ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔ**   **ܔܔܛܓܛܟܟܔܔ**

 

** Saturday, June 13th **

The food was nasty, clearly above the guy’s level of cooking, but he was starving so Dean was able to eat it without much complaint. Sarah, once again, was sitting right next to him and every time she laughed she placed her hand on his knee for an extended amount of time. Several times he had brought up the boyfriend but each time she said they weren’t doing anything harmless which he himself had said a couple times but in this circumstance it felt wrong. Yeah, it was true that every time she put her hands on his knee he would glance over at Cas, worried that he would see even though there was no way he could.

“It isn’t like she does anything around here except watch the dumbass all day.” Chris had been going on and on the whole dinner about Mills and Dean had pretty much lost interests within minutes.

“She’s nice though, she doesn’t give us as much work as Counselor Zach.”

“I would say that they were fucking on the side if she wasn’t so clearly a lesbian.”

“And what makes you think she’s a lesbian?”

“Have you not seen the way she dresses? It’s so fucking obvious.”

“I like her,” Sarah said with a perky little bounce. “She let me get an extra soda for lunch.”

“Of course you like her, the way she undresses you when she looks as you must be oh so flattering.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I don’t know, maybe that you left a couple of corners unattended.”

Everyone laughed and so did Sarah but she was so obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Dean was already sick of hearing Chris whining and complaining about literally everything but that had been tolerable. Now he was deliberately insulting Sarah in his desperate attempt to seem cool.

Before he could stop himself, he muttered under his breath “Dumbass” but everyone was able to hear, including Chris.

“I’m sorry, what was that Dean?”

He looked up from his plate to see everyone looking at him. “Oh, I said ‘dumbass.’ Did you hear me this time or do you want me to repeat myself again?”

“What, now you protect your girlfriend?”

“Well, I figured that if I did, you would have to stop talking and we wouldn’t waste brain cells listening to you.”

A couple of people laughed quietly but the rest were too focused on the exchange to even bat an eye. Chris was getting pissed and Dean was really enjoying himself watching the guy fume but he had to be careful, he didn’t want the simple back and forth to go further. Pamela and he had made real progress before he came here and he didn’t want to screw it up enough to go back to the sessions.

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“Well you were making crappy jokes so I thought I’d try.”

Chris came from a wealthy home, as he liked to remind everyone constantly, and was only there because his parents couldn’t waste time disciplining him. Unlike the rest of them, Chris wasn’t obligated by anybody to be there.

“How fucking old are you?”

“I would ask you the same but then again, I know you can count that high.”

The rest of the cafeteria could probably sense the tension from their table because it was deadly silent, all eyes pointed towards them.

Chris’ nostrils were flaring and Dean couldn’t help himself from laughing.

“Do you want to fucking go?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Both of them stood up and were feet from each other within seconds but so was Mills, stepping between them to stop anything from happening. She was holding them back while they yelled insults at each other, trying to get the last word while the rest of the cafeteria yelled encouragement at them. Honestly, Mills, not even Zach, were enough to hold him back but he didn’t want to fight, he just wanted to get Chris all worked up.

“Alright, alright, break it up you two!” Counselor Zach finally stepped in and pulled Chris back with a smile on his creepy face. “Dean, walk it off to calm down.”

“See you later!” He called before leaving the cafeteria with a huge smile on his face.

It was always fun to annoy an asshole and Chris really had deserved it so whatever consequences came were going to be totally worth it. He was barely ten feet from the cafeteria but the cigarette was already lit and in between his lips. He was basically skipping alongside the lake when he was shoved hard and almost fell into the black water.

“What the hell?!”

“I was just about to ask you that same fucking thing!” Cas looked mad, and that was putting it lightly. “Do you _want_ to get your ass beat?”

“I don’t _want_ anything.” The moon was casting silver light over Cas’ black hair, making it glow white. “Actually, I do _want_ something.” Dean moved closer to Cas and grabbed his waist but Cas was fucking pissed and just pushed him away. “I don’t understand why _you’re_ mad when _I’m_ the one fucking up.”

“I’m mad-” he began but suddenly his whole demeanor deflated and, again, he looked tired, just like he did whenever Dean acted out, “you’re right. I shouldn’t care about the stupid shit you do when _you_ don’t even care.”

Cas started to walk away but before his brain even made a complete thought, his arm extended and was able to grab Cas’ hand. He pulled him back and then they were kissing. They were fucking kissing under moonlight, after having had an argument, by the fucking lake. Dean was just digging himself deeper and deeper into the fucking hole he had dug himself.

They were kissing until they ran out of breathe, resting their foreheads together when they came up for air.

“He was saying some shit about Jody and then he said something to Sarah that was way out of line and-”

“I’m not your mother, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Dean laughed and pecked Cas’ still-wet lips. He seemed to question what he was going to say next but then he stopped himself.

He knew what Cas wanted to ask and it made him smile. “If he had said the same thing to anybody else, I would’ve still defended them.”

“What?”

“Sarah has a boyfriend.”

“I’m not jealous.” Cas pushed him away and the cute little glare was back. Not cute, it’s not _fucking_ cute Dean.

“And I didn’t say you were!”

Cas rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and putting some space between them. “Jody will talk to you about what happened.”

“I kind of expected that.”

“Try not to be so arrogant, otherwise she’ll make sure you get as much work as she can legally give you.”

“I can handle it.” The wind started to pick up and neither of them were wearing jackets. Okay, maybe he also wanted to get Cas alone and have his way with him. “Want to go somewhere?”

“Do you have a place in mind?”

 

The Shed was cold compared to the outside and the lights took a while to turn on but when they did, they sat at the table they had fixed the A/Cs on their first day there. God, they were sentimental little shits.

For some reason, Cas had decided to bring his book with him which offended Dean very much but he was pretty sure he’d make the guy forget everything in a short period of time.

“What book are you reading?” Dean sat close to Cas, his hand resting on the edge of the other’s stool.

“Its name is _Beautiful Ruins._ ”

“Is it any good?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve read it over a hundred times.”  Dean blew out a low whistle. “Yeah, I have a lot of free time.”

“Do you spend a lot of time on the streets, then?”

“There are parts of certain cities in which I can walk safely because of all the friends I made.”  He laughed, picking up the book and flipping through the pages without reading any of the words. “Are we doing the questions thing again?”

He put the book down again before considering the question. Technically, they _were_ going to sneak out later tonight so they _could_ ask each other questions. (That, AND Dean wanted to get to know Cas a little better).

“Sure, ask away.”

Cas turned, putting Dean’s legs in between Cas’, and thought for a second. “Okay, do you have any other siblings?”

“I have only Sammy. What’s something cool you’ve learned from your _travels_?”

“I learned five different languages.”

“Bullshit!”

“Tem ne meneye, russkiy yazyk yavlyayetsya moim lyubimym.” Dean stared at Cas in amazement, not even caring what he had just said because either way it sounded goddamn _sexy_. “That was Russian.”

“That was fucking hot is what it was.” Cas was blushing so hard it was fucking adorable. How was that possible, to be so hot and so fucking cute at the same time? “How did you learn to speak so many languages?”

“Well, when I was on the streets, I would meet homeless people who spoke either broken English or that were their second language. They were happy to teach me for as long as I stayed there.” Again, this knot of sadness tightened Dean’s heart. “What about you?”

“I, unlike you, haven’t learned anything from the local hobos.”

Cas rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile. “What’s something cool that you can do?”

“Uh,” he thought about and the first, least embarrassing thing to pop up first was, “I can play the guitar.”

“That’s cool,” Dean shrugged as if it was nothing, “but is there something cool that you can show me now?”

“Yeah,” Dean put both of his hands on either of Cas’ knees and began to move them upward, “and it might just be as hot as that Russian thing you said.”

He didn’t get far before Cas pushed his hands back down. “Come on, is there something?”

Again, he thought of something that he was positive Cas wouldn’t laugh at and the second thing he thought of was something he actually hadn’t told many people. “I can draw.” Playing his guitar got him sex, but drawing was a past time that he ended up doing more times than not.

“Really?”

“Is it that surprising?”

“A little.” Cas stared at him with something gleaming behind his eyes, some kind of look Dean wasn’t used to and it made him sort of uncomfortable… in a good way. “Can you draw me something?”

The request didn’t come as a surprised but Dean still found himself taken aback by the excitement obvious in Cas’ voice. “Uh, sure, where?” He slid the book back to Dean and immediately began to look for a pen which he found on the toolbox that was sitting on their table. “Anything in specific that you want?”

“Surprise me.”

Dean put the pen down on the first semi-blank page of the book that was resting on his thighs, the dedication being the only thing taking up the space, but he could feel Cas’ stare baring down on him. “Can we at least keep the conversation going? Otherwise, the drawing is gonna come out crappy.”

The question took a while to come. “Who taught you how to do it?”

Dean didn’t know what ‘it’ was but might as well kill two birds with one stone. “My dad used to play guitar until about three years ago and he taught me whenever he wasn’t in one of his moods.” The lump was already forming in his throat, but he knew Cas wouldn’t judge if there was a slight quiver in his voice. “And… my mom, she had a sketch book that my dad kept…” _Just a couple more words, you can do this._ “I would trace her drawings at first and then draw as I looked at them. Pretty soon, I was able to draw on my own.”

When Cas had asked him to draw something, Dean thought of something funny that he could do but now, talking about what his mom had taught him even after death, the drawing was just out of taste but he had already started enough of it to obligate him to finish it.

For a couple seconds, he focused on the drawing until he could think of a question but the biggest question clouding his mind was the damn barn. Cas was not going to talk about it, Dean was sure of that, so he decided on something simpler instead.

“When’s your birthday?”

“Are you going to get me a present?” Dean laughed as he began to shade in the hair and the outline of the body. “August 20, 1997.”

“You’re older than me by 6 months; January 24.”

“I knew I acted more mature than you for a reason.” Dean punched his leg lightly. “How long ago did you start smoking?”

His hand stopped for a second as he thought back on the first time; it had been horrible and he had sworn that he would never do it again but a week later he was smoking like a regular Joe. “It was about a year ago. Nobody taught me or even told me to smoke; I just found a cigarette and thought I try it. It was fucking disgusting but I wanted to look cool for one and… nope, that was pretty much it.”

“It doesn’t look _cool_ when you’re coughing up half your lungs when you’re in your thirties.”

“You sound just like my brother.” He turned the angle of the book as to not screw up the curve of the arm. “Have you ever gotten into fights?”

“A couple.” Dean actually had to look up from his drawing. “I know, I know, it’s unbelievable.”

“A little.”

“It was at one of the schools I went to and it was the reason why I ended up running away from that foster home.”

“Did you win?” Cas avoided Dean’s eyes but the edge of his mouth was turned up. “Goddamn Cas.” He didn’t even try to stop himself when he leaned forward and stole a kiss from Cas. The more and more he learned about the guy, the hotter and hotter he got. Not like he wasn’t already but it was definitely helping.

“Finish my drawing,” Cas mumbled against his lips and it took everything in him not to rip the guy’s clothes off. He instead turned his attention back to the drawing, trying to hide his ever growing boner. “Have you?”

“Yeah, just one.”

“Bullshit.”

“Seriously, but the guy got enough of a beating for a _couple_ guys.”

“THAT I believe.”

Dean was almost done with the drawing, adding a couple extra details that he knew would make Cas laugh.

“Have you ever regretted running from a foster home?”

“Once.” Dean glanced at Cas, being able to hear something in his voice. “They were nice, the school was friendly, and they leaved near the beach. It was a good home…”

“But?”

Cas met his eyes and Dean couldn’t identify what was swimming in them, but it was something dark. “I’m incapable of keeping functional people in my life.”

He didn’t know what to think or even feel with that statement, so he instead returned his attention back to the drawing and added the finishing touches.

“What do you think?” He handed the book to Cas and he immediately began to laugh. Dean had drawn a very modest picture of himself, included a very pronounce six pack that he didn’t have and big meaty biceps that were a bit bigger than his own. The drawing was flexing his muscles as the fingers pointed upwards towards the dedications. A few tattoos decorated his almost naked body, some Dean thought would be cool to get when he was older, and towards the back, he had added a quick and not-so-good sketch of a fangirling Cas with heart eyes.

“This is awesome.”

“Stating the obvious, but thanks.”

Cas was smiling, seemingly trying to absorb every part of the small drawing that wasn’t even Dean’s best work. As Cas ran a finger over each line, Dean sat there, letting that image get pierced into his mind. He sat there without saying a word because he didn’t want anything to stain the… the… fuck it, the _beauty_ of this moment. Oh GOD what the fuck was happening to him? His thoughts were taking him dangerous places, a clear indicator to make a move so the situation would turn purely sexual… but his body was frozen, only warmed by the smile on Cas’ lips. He didn’t want to think about it but there was still the screaming within his mind that something was happening, not just between Cas and him… but inside himself too. The thought was scary as all fuck and he was scared, terrified, of what this might mean but it didn’t consume him, not like it should have.

Dean had no idea what this meant but whatever the fuck it was, he was glad to be able to share this one, solitary moment, with none other than Castiel Novak, the asshole with the backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel said "However, Russian is my favorite."


End file.
